Gone

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Horror Creature Feature

As a loyal reader and watcher of all things horror, this story was great! It really had the '80s creature feature vide. The premise was simple and easy to follow, and the scary scenes really freaked me out. Since this was more on the short story side, I won't comment on the character development, but I felt the plot was well done.

There were a few grammar and syntax errors, but it's nothing a good edit can't fix.

Awesome job! And if you like horror stories, read this writer's work!

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Mystery in the Woods

The story is still ongoing, but so far, I’ve read all the available chapters. The one thing I really liked about this writer’s story was the mystery around the woods. This story comes off as horror, but the horror elements are pretty minimal, especially compared to more mainstream horror that’s about demons and ghosts. However, it isn’t a bad thing since the main characters are kids. As I was reading the story, it reminded me of middle-grade fiction, so if that’s what the writer was going for, then great job!

As for feedback, I do wish the writer showed more of the “regular” world before the kids entered the woods. Showing more of the world will help with showing the time period and building the world. Since the main point of the story is the forest, there should be more detailed descriptions of the woods. That way, it will add more fear to the story. Also, the writing was decent, but there were a few grammar and punctuation errors. The story has a lot of potential, so I'm excited to see where it goes.

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Interesting Start

I'm reviewing this story because the writer asked for a review. I only read the first few chapters of the story, so that's all I'm going to review.

The story starts with a prologue, which seemed more like a scene than an actual prologue. We already know the MC is going to encounter a vampire based on the summary of the book, so I didn't get the point of the prologue. Generally, prologues are supposed to show information that's omitted from the main book.

In the first chapter, we get a feel for the MC's life. The writer did a good showing us what the MC is going through and what her focus is. Even though the story didn't really capture my attention, I feel this is a good book for readers that like vampire stories.

As for the writing, there were many grammar errors, missing punctuation, and unnecessary words. Also, I didn't know why quotes weren't used for the dialogue instead of little arrows, but that could be a formatting issue.

Overall, though, the story is interesting and a welcome edition for vampire lovers.

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Interesting Beginnings

So far, the writer only has two chapters posted, so it's still early in the story; however, the writer starts the story off in an interesting way. I'm not sure if the first chapter is a first chapter or a prologue, but the opening felt more like a prologue than a first chapter, so to the writer, you may want to work on transitioning the tone between the two chapters. The writing was good, with only a little grammar and punctuation issues. If you're looking for an interesting fantasy read about dolls, this is a good story to check out.

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Quick Read

If you’re looking for some quick erotica to read, then check out the stories in this book! The stories are short and get directly to the point. While I did enjoy reading the writer’s quick shorts, I felt the storylines were generic, and the writing needs some editing. I won’t comment on the character development since these are short stories, but some of the writing took away from the story. For example, you generally don’t need to write in all capitals. If a character is screaming, you can write the dialogue and then describe what the character is doing. Also, the dialogue for each character should be on a separate line. That way, the reader knows who’s speaking. Of course, this is just my feedback, and the writer doesn’t have to use it. Again, I did enjoy reading these shorts, and the writer certainly knows how to create a steamy scene.

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High Fantasy

First, I must say this writer's ability to put words together is fantastic! The writing flows smoothly, with little to no mistakes. The vocabulary is diverse, and the words barely repeat in the same paragraph. The worldbuilding is great, as you get a clear image of what's happening around the characters.

My only feedback at this time (as I'm still reading the story) is that the story is slow to start. We get great imagery with the words, but after almost seven chapters in, we still don't know what the main threat or problem is in the world. For example, what is Meya's purpose? Of course, high fantasy stories tend to build up the world and characters a bit before the main plot happens, so if that's what the writer is going for, then please ignore this feedback. I do plan to keep reading Meya's story so that I can find out what happens to her.

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Teenage Horror Story

First, I'm a huge horror fan, and I write horror myself, so I'm always searching for a good horror story.

To start, I'll mention what I enjoyed and then what I feel needs improvement. The setting of the story was engaging, and most readers can connect with the "school" setting. Since this was a short story, I felt the characters were fine because we don't need to know too much about them. The build-up and mystery were good; we know the MC is exploring something she shouldn't, like the Dark Web, so that already gets readers interested in the story. However, the plot twist doesn't make much sense and encourages the readers to ask additional questions, for example, if that was her best friend, why would she try to kill her? Also, the writing needs some work, such as missing commas and spelling errors.

Overall, though, the story was engaging and kept my interest the whole time.

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Slice of Life Romance

Since there is a lot to mention here, I'm going to list the positives first and then some areas for improvement.

Positives:
Interesting characters - Your main characters, the female MC, male MC, and the best friend, are fleshed out well. The reader can get a good grasp of the different characters and their personalities.
Romance plot - The tension between the two main characters is good, as the reader can see the issues between them, and you have some balanced scenes that show their chemistry together.

Improvements:
Pacing - So far, the story is too fast-paced. In the first chapter, we are shown many characters, so it's a little hard to keep up with everyone. And instead of jumping right into sexy time, have a little bit of build-up before the story's trigger.
Show, don't tell - The writing is more telling than showing. For example, in the first chapter, the MC basically tells the reader their backstory. Rather than info dump the information, try to show it through dialogue and actions.
Character development - We are supposed to follow the MC, but the MC doesn't seem to have any goals or thoughts outside of the love interest. For example, does the MC have any plans for the future? What does she strive for? Does she want to travel, have a family, etc.? Also, we don't get any of her thoughts, just her telling us everything that is happening. In first person, the reader should be inside the character's head, so we need to know what they are thinking.
Writing - Some commas are missing, and there are a few run-on sentences; however, these issues can easily be fixed with some editing. Also, you had some word echoes, but again, a simple edit can catch those repeated words.

Overall, the story was enjoyable to read, as I liked the growing relationship between the two leads, but I feel the story needs some fleshing out. Try to expand the MC outside of the love interest and his family. I know you had the chapter about the MC's brother, but is there more to her family? Maybe explain why the MC's brother spoils her, etc.

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Slow Burn

I've read all the chapters the writer has posted so far, so my feedback is based on the first few chapters. For my reviews, I list out what I've enjoyed and then what can be improved on.

First, I liked the dialogue and setting. With the dialogue and setting, the reader gets a clear view of the time period. Also, with erotica, you should focus on building to the big moment, and the writer is doing a good job with that. As for improvements, consider adding more descriptions and sensory imagery to the chapters. For example, when the MC is dealing with the robber, does he smell like anything? What is his touch like? With erotica, the writing is based on the readers' senses, so add more of those details into the story.

Since this seems to be a quick, steamy story, I won't get into character development, but I do like the little hints about the personalities of each character.

Also, I noticed numerous grammar mistakes; however, those errors are something a good edit can fix. Keep on writing!

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Magical Short Story

Since this is a short story, the review won't be too in depth, but I'll tell you what I enjoyed and what can be improved on.

First, I enjoyed the sense of mystery and build up throughout the story. Things weren't made clear until the end, which is what a good short story should do. The plot also wasn't rushed, so as a reader, you can take your time to pick through all the details of what could be happening.

As for improvements, I'd say the grammar and syntax need work, but that's something a good edit can fix. Awesome job, though, as this was a good read!

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Dark YA Story

Generally, I'm not a fan of Young Adult stories, but this story breaks many of the cliche norms for YA. For one, I like that the MC is on the darker side and is confident in herself. She also doesn't appear to have any friends, but she doesn't let that hold her back from finding out the truth about herself.

As for improvements, there were some grammar errors, but it's nothing a good edit can't fix. Awesome job, writer, and I can't wait to read more!

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A Different Read

I found this story while I was looking for something new to read. I liked how it didn't fit the Inkitt-cliched-romance stories about werewolves and vampires. The opening to the story was interesting, as it gave some good background about the main character. I also enjoyed how, when the MC was chosen to be the bride, that she wasn't instantly taken away; however, a few things need some more clarification. Also, instead of posting spoilers here, I left my feedback for the writer in the comment section of the story.

As for improvements to the story, I think the writer should focus on the character development of the MC. For example, how is the MC supposed to grow and change, and what are her flaws? As I was reading the story, I didn't sense much from the MC aside from she's hurt and hates her groom. In addition, the grammar wasn't too bad, and there were some errors, but it's nothing a good edit can't fix.

Overall, though, the writer has the good meat of the story, but it needs some fleshing out.

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Not That Great

As a new writer on Inkitt, I was curious to read some of the popular stories on here, and I know this writer’s work is popular, but I honestly didn’t enjoy this story. The abuse aspect didn’t bother me so much, but it was more the plot and character development. You don’t have to show all of your characters grow and change, but your main character should always show growth throughout the story. However, in this case, the main female character, Hayden, didn’t change at all. In the end, she lacked character and development, and she was basically the male character’s submissive pet. One could argue Hayden was trying to protect her brother, but her brother already proved he didn’t care about her and had his own issues to deal with.

To sum it up, Hayden was a Mary Sue character whom all the males loved, and the male character was just a jerk that showed no signs of caring about anyone but himself. When he “confessed” to Hayden, it came off shallow and more wish fulfillment for the readers; basically, it wasn’t a believable confession. Also, just showing the passage of time without any interactions doesn’t show believable growth. The story had some promise, but it fell short in the end.

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Good Fantasy Read

Even though this story isn't my cup of tea, so far, it seems like a good fantasy read. The writer has a strong voice, and her characters feel like real people instead of tropes. The writer also has a good vocabulary and a knack for descriptions, which I find rare for online manuscripts. There are a few grammar errors, but it's nothing a good edit can't solve. Awesome job!

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The After Effects

I don't usually read stories like this, but I decided to give it a chance. The writer does a good job with the worldbuilding, as you catch glimpses of what's going on through the main character's perspective. Honestly, reading this reminded me of Stephen King's The Gunslinger because we can tell it's a human world, but as readers, we don't know what's truly happening. I do think that the writer should reveal more about the main character because just in the first few chapters, we don't know much about her, and it's hard to root for a character that you don't know anything about.

Also, while the worldbuilding is indeed interesting, the story is slow to start and doesn't reel me in. The writer has a good writing style, with only a few errors.

If you're looking for a story that is different from the usual cliches you find online, then this is a good read.

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Young Adult Mer Story

In this review, I'm going to be honest. As I was reading the writer's story, I knew this book wasn't for me. However, that doesn't take away from the writer's amazing ability to write beautiful prose. The writer's descriptions were amazing, and you could tell she did a lot of research for her story.

Personally, for me, I don't connect with characters that giggle and act like their pre-teens to teenagers, so I accept that I may not be this writer's target audience.

The writer does a great job of showing the character's life and world. There were barely any mistakes in the writing, and her writing was smooth. It takes a while to get to the main plot, but I'm sure that's because the writer was trying to show the MC's everyday life first. I was a little confused by the setting of the story because modern-day stories were mentioned, like The Little Mermaid, but the character's acted as if they live in a different time period. For example, if the MC is supposed to be a young girl, wouldn't she be on the internet or communicating with her friends through a video call?

I feel like the ideal age range for this book is pre-teens to young adults, and it's a story they'll enjoy diving into (no pun intended).

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Emotional Read

I'm picky when it comes to stories, so it's hard for me to find something that I really enjoy, and honestly, I enjoyed the start of this story.

The writer does a great job of pulling the reader into the character's suffering and emotions. Also, the descriptions of the surroundings were really good. I also like the fact that you're building up the character and showing us his world and life first before diving into the main plot.

The only real issue I had was with the worldbuilding, as it's hard to understand what kind of world the main character lives in. If the main character is royalty, then why is he going to school like normal children? I would think the children of royal blood would have private schooling or a tutor. Also, there were some grammar and spelling errors, but it's nothing a simple edit can't fix.

Overall, I enjoyed this story, and I'm looking forward to reading more about Kaspar.

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Steamy Romance

The one thing that caught my attention about this story was the POC female MC. Since there aren't many main characters that are POC and female, I wanted to support the writer by reading the story. The writer definitely knows how to write a steamy romance; however, the story is too fast-paced. Right from the beginning of the story, we get the good bits, but with little to no character development. My advice is to develop the characters a little bit more so that readers know why they should care about them. Also, the story needs some editing, so I suggest finding a beta-reader who can help you polish your story. And to the writer, please know this feedback is just to help improve the story. You have a good start here, and with some more fleshing out, this can be a great romance book.

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Beautiful Sadness

The poems were lovely, and since I prefer sad and dark emotions, I connected with the writer's words. Many of the poems were about pain, rejection, and loss, and since these are common issues most people deal with, it's easy to understand where the writer was coming from.

I don't have much feedback aside from a few spacing, spelling, and missing word issues, but everything else was wonderful!

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