Great first chapter! Can't wait to read more
I think this is an excellent story so far. First, the dialog is well crafted. There are a few places that could be edited but overall it is smooth.
Read the story now
The main character is described as somewhat self centered and yet very sympathetic which makes me want to keep reading to find out how he grows.
Some of the paragraphs are just beautiful with subtle descriptions like when he covers the reflection in the paint of his motorcycle. It really shows you that there is more under the surface of this person.
There are very few places where I think a change is needed. Like when he says he lost his license but he got "it" back from the impound lot. I think it is supposed to say he got the bike back from the lot. But, this type of editing is minor and overall the quality is very high.
As someone who used to ride motorcycles, the description is so good it makes me want to ride again!
There are so many stories about people falling into other worlds but this idea is fresh and captivating like a brand new idea.
The only reason I didn't give 5 stars is that I have a lot of reading still. If I can I will update this when I'm done.