Nana Nox

Loved the witchcraft!

Very nice story! Whoever likes the Wicca lore will enjoy this, Cool explanations and descriptions about witchcraft, symbols, rituals - I appreciated that. It is a smooth read, I enjoyed getting to know all the characters and follow the story of Lexi. Most of the story so far is from Lexi's pov but I noticed that sometimes the pov suddenly changes. I think it's better to make it more consistent, either take 1 pov or multiple rather than one dominant but interrupted with occasional change.There is a group of characters and for most of the time is evident who is speaking, sometimes, also due to some mistakes in dialogue tags, it gets a bit confusing. It's fun to get to know them, and Lexi is a very lovable character. I think you built her well. Overall I quite enjoyed reading this story, the plot progresses nicely and it compelled me to read on. Your writing style is quite neat and easy to read. The whole setup becomes even more intriguing with the introduction of the new family. Well done!

Nice plot, cool characters!

It's a compelling story within the werewolf lore. I liked the intro about the Moon Goddess . It promises an intriguing plot. There are quite some grammatical errors, which will need to be addressed in the editing phase, also the writing style at times becomes a bit confusing with lots of things happening and with many different names. Some nice concepts are in the story - the disbelief of humans in werewolves - not being aware of the nature around them. The aggressive alpha male is well portrayed, the inner struggles of the MC, and I like the idea that the MC rejected her mate - provides for an interesting plot. The writing needs to be polished, but plot wise it's certainly a promising start!

Reaper by night - review

This is some superb writing - publishing level for sure. I loved your opening chapter. Marvellous how you managed to avoid any info dump, and present us the main characters and their relationship without any superfluous descriptions. The dialogues are great, natural, the dialogue tags expressing well the characters and their mannerism. The supernatural world you describe is not new to me, been reading about such beings before, but I must say the way you present these characters is quite unique. They are extremely likeable and grow on you from the very beginning. Loved the Grym and Geni relationship and their dialogues. It's a pleasure to follow the plot unfolding together with them. Fantastic start of the story!

Most compelling concept for a story!

Very original idea for the story - I didn't even know about this word in the title or its meaning and. Now I find it most interesting and it's a great set up for a story, nonetheless a romance story. The main character is very unique - the way she talks and thinks makes her a very interesting, original, unusual and intriguing character. Also Chaos is pretty much the same, so I'd say you have a nice talent for characterization. The only thing in this story that has some weakness is the writing - sometimes it's' a bit unclear (a bit of mix up with pronouns), and perhaps at the beginning there's some "vulgar" words used, that feel a bit forced and unnecessary. Also the dialogue tags could be much more descriptive (too much of she/he said + adverbs) , and sometimes, especially when we have 2 ppl talking - could be omitted.
But the story still reads smooth, the characterization is great, the concept of it is truly amazing and it provides for a compelling, very interesting plot. Great job!

Great plot, great characters!

I'm not strictly a fantasy fan, yet this story very much intrigued me. The writer has excellent skills in attracting the reader. I felt compelled to read on after every chapter. The writing is very smooth, easy to follow and there are some beautiful paragraphs. I enjoyed setting descriptions, which easily evoked the image of the mysterious manor. Quite immediately one relates to the main heroine. Kamora is an intriguing character, simple and kind at first sight, but mysterious in her loss of memory. One can feel her past lurking and wants to know about it as much as Kamora does. The characterization is superb with very good, naturally flowing dialogues and interactions. Another character that is portrayed really well is the fascinating fae lord of the manor. He's very charming in his detached, cold attitude - also portrayed very well.
There's a very original premise that has to do with the loss of memory - this and yet unclear connection between Kamora and the manor and its master makes the plot extremely compelling.

The one thing I'd suggest to the writer to be careful about is about choosing the POV. Seems the main one is of Kamora, but in one chapter it suddenly changes. Whatever way the writer chooses to tell the story - from one or more POV, it should be consistent throughout the story.
In overall, it's an intriguing, well written story,with some really great characters and a plot that compels you to read on.

Fabulous!!

An amazing story I started to read by chance and I simply couldn't stop. The writing is superb, professional, I found no fault whatsoever, not in grammar not in the writing style, I don't think any editing is needed at all. The characters are amazing, and the way the characterization is done is just...no words. I enjoyed and fully connected with each of the characters. The plot - it's true I'm a vampire fan, but this story is a vampire story unlike any I read so far - it's original, engaging, intriguing, suspenseful, and throughout it there really great humour that makes the reader giggle all the time. Ivy and Oscar are just wonderful . and btw - what a great name for a vampire. I hope the writer has the whole story and plans to write it out. I think this story surpasses this platform. Without any hesitation I can give top marks. It's the best thing I've read here so far, and I did come across a couple of pretty good stories already. Truly great writing, hope to see more of this!

Skytheria-review

Must say I had a hard time deciding on rating of this story. The prologue is all action, intense, stuff happening. Fun to read, some beautiful descriptive sentences, but it's all very dense with terms of magic (?) the meaning of which, at least for now, is unknown. One is left a bit confused at the end, yet, and that's the interesting part, I was really intrigued and compelled to read on, despite of not really understanding the chapter. The first chapter continues with a more clear narrative, and again it's quite interesting to the very end. Then the second chapter there are quite some explanations, but I still didn't really get the grasp of the character - or what she's doing, as well as not of the world she's in. The writing is very good, and somehow pulls you in despite all the confusion. It would have been great if there was less sci.fi/magical terminology and descriptions and more focus on the narrative, since these are the first chapters , where the reader needs to establish some connection with the character or the world. Despite these shortcomings, I think this is a very exceptional, original piece written quite beautifully, and I'm curious to see where the plot is going.

A vampire...-review

While I haven't read the first book I still enjoyed this story very much. One quickly grasps what is happening as the author provides enough information skillfully through the dialogues and inner voice of the MC. Melody is a delightful character. I enjoyed her inner voice and thoughts, whether she was happy, angry or shocked (loved her reaction when she came to Erik's room and i chuckled at several of her musings ). At times perhaps the pace falls a bit slow (some dialogues are a bit stretched and also some descriptions of MC's actions could be shortened).I kept thinking if perhaps this book could work better if narrated in third person - from Melody's point of view. This is because there's quite some of I did this ...i did that..., which in first person can sound a bit forced. At the same time would be a shame to omit those descriptions.... In overall, it's a well written tale, with interesting characters and many original elements. It's engaging, and you do want to see what's going to happen next.

Sweet 25 - review

The story has an interesting, romantic, sports theme, however, there are quite some difficulties with grammar and overall writing. I'd suggest the author to use Grammarly (is for free) or some other writing application- it will help to sort out at least some basics. Also keep to one tense (whether be that present or past), there's quite a lot of shifting and mixing of tenses, which affects negatively the reading. I think the idea is nice, but writing needs work. The detailed scenes of the basketball match were interesting and intense. I also liked the characters. Keep working on it. Good luck!

The Mystery....

I think this is an ambitious plot. The story is set in a very colourful and interesting setting. However, there are numerous points to improve - the pace: too slow. Especially the first chapter is too stretched and the reader gets lost in the abundance of info and repetitive dialogues. It's also hard to follow the time line, which is a bit confusing (the girls are in the office sitting down, then this happens again...and this repeats a few times). The dialogue is full of overly descriptive dialogue tags, which are many times unnecessary as there are only 2 people speaking. Also the expressions such "with her keen observation" repeats way too many times. This heavies down the pace and also takes away from the character.
I think the story has a good set up, and all the elements for a good mystery, the characters are also good (the idea of two sisters detectives is very nice), but the writing still needs work.

Gem - review

What a truly delightful story! Once you start reading it you'll find it very hard to stop. The writing is so easy, unpretentious, smooth and plot driven, that you just want to know what happens in the next chapter, and then the next one and then another one...
Written in first person, the MC is a lovely protagonist. Her inner voice is fun to read, she's sharp, witty, humorous and lovable. The love she has for her sister it's almost a bit obsessive, but this aligns with the plot well, and also makes the character more complex.
The story starts with the best hook ever: "It wasn't until I got closer to him that I realized he was dead." and then goes back one year, being recounted by Elsea. This first line sets the tone - gives it an eerie supernatural vibe - making us speculate who and especially what the person she speaks about is. The way the plot unfolds is quite unexpected and original - it keeps you surprising and in suspense all the time.
Also I found quite a few descriptions - such as 15 car pile up smile - which really had me laughing each time and I think such lines points to genius writing. The pace is just perfect, the chapters are of a good length.

To add some constructive criticism: sometimes Elsea tends to stretch out her inner musings too much, they also at times repeat with what's happening and are thus superfluous. The dialogues could be trimmed a bit too, some things are clear from the context. In general, the writing style could be more polished, but despite there's room for improvement, I can't say it took anything from the story, while reading it - the plot, the characters make up for it.
The world this author created will pull you in, and so will the characters. Just when you think you know what it is about, something different opens up....full of interesting surprises. If fantasy is your genre, read it, you won't be disappointed!

The Lavender Witch - review

Super easy to be pulled in by this story. The pace it's smooth, and also the writing. It's simply a smooth read, with a quickly evolving plot, that keeps you hooked from one chapter to another. Written in the first person, one gets quickly drawn into the internal and external conflicts of the main heroine. She has certainly her faults, does things, even though she's aware they are wrong, but that's the beauty of this character -- not perfect yet strong, witty, and sharp. In fact none of the characters is black or white - they all have good and bad traits, which makes them very interesting.The relationships in this story are complex, toxic, intense. At times one forgets we're talking about supernatural beings so human their problems seem.
What could be better: in some parts, especially when there are only two persons involved, dialogue tags could be removed, as it's already evident who is speaking. At times there's lengthy and repetitive background explanations, which could be revealed slower. Also some inner voice speculations and musings of the MC are sometimes too detailed and unnecessary.
In conclusion, once you start on this book it will be hard to stop and the characters won't leave you indifferent,, you'll like them, hate them, then like them again.

Hiding inside - review

I've read 15 chapters for this review. It was a very enjoyable and smooth read, The writer's writing style is pretty amazing, and there's not one paragraph or chapter that it's boring, too wordy or too slow. it's all smooth writing, great pace and excellent story telling. A few grammatical mishaps, but that it's just a small matter of editing and in no way affects the story or bothers a reader. The MC is very likeable and has a strong, distinctive voice. The plot is also quite intriguing, and makes you want to read more at the end of each chapter. It's really well written and hooks you immediately. Great writing and great story!

Review for Die for love

I've read 10 chapters of this story. The story starts off with an intense and dynamic opening chapter of a woman being kidnapped on a parking lot. There's lots of dialogue and as the kidnapping proceeds we get an idea who might the kidnapper be and why is he doing this. My biggest issue with this story was grammar and writing style. Punctuation was off, some expressions sounded odd in English, the constant inner dialogue of characters with a lot of questions weights down the story flow. The plot too was somehow forced, it didn't evolve naturally - we have a lot of explanation through the inner dialogue of the characters instead of letting the story evolve for itself.
If we leave the grammar and language issues aside, it is clear that the writer tried to create an intricate plot, with lots of interesting characters. I suggest to give each character a more distinctive voice and use their thoughts less often. It's an interesting setting of the story, with lots of intricate relationships between the characters, and the writing is quite edgy, so with some editing the story has a potential. Best of luck!

AFRICAN SHORT STORIES

It's a straightforward story with a strong impact. There's need for some editing of grammar and phrasing, but in overall I liked the simple narrative style that is used. The plot presents us with a hard, uneasy topic, which is not easily accepted by the reader or in this case, as it is a matter of a culture I'm not familiar with, to identify with. However, one can appreciate the sincere and genuine writing and the boldness of the author in her approach. If this is a stand alone story, i must say it does feel a little bit as if it was not yet finished, although the ending with the name was quite evocative. It's certainly a different type of story i would usually read, but I'm glad I had a chance to read it and enrich my repertoire. I think a collection of such stories would definitely make an interesting book.

The Bootlegger's Daughter

I think you really bring out the voice of your main character with this style of writing. Once you get used to it, it reads like a real diary. In the first 4 chapters there's still not much yet of a plot, but with the hint at the beginning, that this is going to be about the worst day in sb's life, it makes it quite intriguing. Your descriptions and especially the dialogues reflect really well the world at that time or at least it gave that feel to me. You characterisation is quite superb. Perhaps my only preference would be a bit of a quicker pace and when explaining to go with less detail, although on the other hand, that would certainly take away from that particular voice of your character. In overall i think it's a very good story. It's interesting, original and well written. I wish you good luck with it!

Sinister

I said mostly everything in the comments under each chapter. I really enjoyed reading the story and I would continue reading it. I think the plot is very good. the reader gets hooked immediately.At moments I feel you rush a bit with things, that should take more time to develop, so they would feel more natural and not too forced. But apart from that your character is quite strong, complex enough and there's still room for his development. A well written, intriguing story!