Coni_89

Arad

Structural Engineer, Product Engineer in Automotive Systems, Martial Artist, Horror book and movie fan. I'm not much of a writer, but I have lots of ideas and now I'm experimenting.

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Good job!

Your stories are quite interesting. I like the fact that you are not shying away from gore, and other similar stuff. The writing was good. Even if the stories were short, they flowed well. You know how to play around with language, this tells me that you read a lot, and also write on a regular basis. Grammar was also spot on, I spotted no errors. Good job, and keep up the good work!

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Good start, but the story is all over the place

The beginning was good, the characters felt genuine, there were some nice humorous elements too. There's some mystery in the beginning which draws the reader in, but then the story falls short by being a little haphazard. I had to give up at chapter 13 because I couldn't understand what's happening anymore.
Don't get me wrong, you have the potential to write great stuff, and even this story can be good, but not for anybody. Don't let my personal opinion discourage you. This story is more for people who like fast-paced stuff with a lot of questions. I prefer stories with more lingering mystery and a dark atmosphere.
The writing style was good, you still have to polish this story because there are a few typo's and unnecessary repetitions of words and phrases in the same sentence or consequent sentences. It is obvious that your vocabulary is rich, and your phrasing is also pretty good. You can craft interesting sentences with no problem.
The premise was good, I liked the idea of the brain waves, but I got to Chapter 13 and there was almost nothing there linking to them, only jumping from one hard to understand scene to the next. I really wanted this idea to be developed and explored.
You can't raise questions, and introduce mystery indefinitely, the reader will lose interest because he/she won't be able to follow the story. Answer some questions, then raise some more. This way the reader will get some satisfaction, but also keep interest in reading.
Pay attention to your story's pace, for me this was fast, for others it might be just right. While fast-paced stories can be real nailbiters which are hard to put down, you have to craft them carefully.
Check out 'Mindless' by BryanMayhem here on Inkitt. It's a really good fast-paced short story, and I think we can both learn from it.
Keep experimenting, because that's the way you learn.

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Objectively good, subjectively not so

I stopped reading at the chapter with the second flashback. Technically there is nothing wrong with the book, I just don't like the story itself.
From an objective perspective, I think that things fall into place pretty well. We have the hook, the mystery, the slow unfolding of the events, the character development, and so on. The first few chapters promised a lot. The story could have gone in several directions, and it's ok where it did actually go. The writing style is great, I really liked it, and it was one of the things which kept me reading. The punctuation and the grammar were almost perfect, the sentences had a natural flow to them. This made the text very readable.
From a subjective standpoint, I didn't like the romantic inclinations of the story, there were too much of those. Also, the hints that the men might be some kind of beasts, possibly werewolves, was just too much. It's just a matter of personal taste, I don't think these are actual flaws of the story. I was just expecting something else, that's it. If the majority of people like it, then you are on the right track. I'm not on track with the latest trends, so I don't know what most of the people like or are expecting from mystery writers.
So, to summarize, you have great talent as a writer, and I think that the story has every chance in the world to become successful. It's just not for me.

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Interesting but short

Interesting concept, but in my oppinion it's a little short. It lacks proper story/character development. I know that it's supposed to be a short story, but it could have been expanded a little more.
The description of the creatures is indeed nice, as a previous reviewer pointed out. I liked your writing style. Grammar and language were also pretty good. Good work!

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Interesting concept

Well, the events of the first chapter went "downhill" fast. It started with a mystery, which is good. The concept was original and interesting, the ending a little rushed. Overall, it was good, I really liked it.
Maybe this kind of story should be extended into a complete novel because I think that there is plenty to write about. There are many things to explore such as scientific research, disagreement/clash with fellow researchers and the resulting feelings, like 'is the research really going to succeed', 'can I really do this?', There might be high risk involved should the research fail, like the death of a loved one if the cure is not developed, or a promise made to somebody. If the research is given some kind of urgency, then it will justify the main protagonist's insistence to continue. The emotional struggle caused by the transformation should be explored, human emotions clashing with the rising amphibian instincts: the morality of killing vs satisfying hunger, the good feeling of having heightened senses vs losing the protagonist's humanity (second thoughts), guilt after killing the lady friend then internal struggle and maybe rage and destruction. The story might then end in many possible ways, self-sacrifice in order to compensate for the destruction caused; accepting the transformation, but getting killed by somebody; or surviving, but having to accept the new self; and so on.
These are just some ideas, in case you need them. In my honest opinion, this story deserves more, it has substance, but not enough space to develop. It lacks character development and emotion (internal and external struggles of the protagonist) which is somehow understandable since it is a short story. The writing style was good, the grammar and punctuation spot-on. I noticed that the author researched the science involved in the story well, which is a good thing. Keep experimenting, you are on the right track!

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Interesting

The style is good, the mystery is there, and I'm curious what's coming next. So far, I don't really understand what's happening but hopefully things will become more clear in the following chapters.

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Very good story

It was a bit over the top, but otherwise it was a great story with lots of unexpected events, twists and turns. I think that the idea is original, and the book is well written. Good job!

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Original idea

This is an interesting story, an original idea. It's mysterious from the beginning until the end, so it keeps you reading. It conveys lots of emotions, this is another thing which makes it work. It makes the reader sympathise with a murderer, and at the same time hate him too.
The writing style is elegant, the grammar good.
Congrats to the writer!

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One of the best

Congratulations to the writer! I don't understand how this story has only a few likes and only two reviews. In my oppinion, this is among the very best stories not just on inkitt but among the best I've read.
It grips you from the start with its mysterious beginning and dark Victorian atmosphere. I think that the setting and era in which the action is happening were brilliantly chosen by the writer. Victorian London is among the best choices for a crime/mystery like this.
The plot is nicely woven, I couldn't spot loose ends, and the twist was also a very good idea. Just when I thought that the story becomes predictable, the twist came and turned things around.
The writing style was also nice. Elegant sentences and short chapters made this story easy to read. There were only a few typo's here and there, but they weren't much of an annoyance. The grammar was also flawless.
I'm looking forward to reading more from this writer because this book was top notch. I really, really recommend it to anybody.

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Amazing story

I really hope that the authors are going to finish this novel because what I've read until now, is truly great.
The setting is perfect for a mystery like this, the characters are likeable and the writing style is beautiful. One can see right away that the authors are experienced and also well-read.
There is much to enjoy here as a reader, and there is also much to learn as an aspiring writer. The author's knowledge about the era of the action is obvious, and the mysterious events can easily hook any reader.
Good work, but please finish it!

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Simply Amazing

I don't even know where to begin praising this story, it is so great. It hooked me from the start and the mystery kept me reading. The story had been written with careful attention to detail, descriptions were beautiful and just enough.
It has the hook, it has the mystery and it delivers in the end. A slow burning ride through an indescribable emotional hell and painful questions which get their well-deserved answers in the end. The writing style and punctuation are unquestionable and the very end has a nice touch to it.
Overall the story is elegant and well-thought out, there are no loose ends in my oppinion. I salute the writer for this work. It deserves a place among the best-sellers!
Great job!

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Exceptional piece of work

Yes, it's exceptional but in my oppinion it's unfinished. I think that it really deserves (and needs) a fitting conclusion. I strongly suggest to the writer to finish this story because it has a huge potential.
The writing style is great, the story is intriguing and there is a lot of mistery in it. It has almost everything, except the ending. This is the only reason I gave four stars for the plot, otherwise I would have given five without hesitation.
Cliffhangers and believable characters add to the greatness of the story. The detailed knowledge of the era in which the plot is situated is obvious. The writer either has an extensive knowledge of history or he is an experienced researcher.
On a side note, this story reminds me of The Alienist by Caleb Carr which is an amazing book and I recommend it.
Keep writing because you are definately good at it!

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Interesting story

The story was good and as the previous reviewer had said, the presence of both internal and external conflict makes it interesting. It has mistery too. The details about the canal dweller are dropped in parts and its full nature isn't revealed at all, which is good. Keep the mistery going!
One thing I didn't like though, when the father and son come face to face with the creature, there is too much emphasis on the tension between the two of them. I bet that if any two people were attacked by some unknown entity, they would put their differences aside and run for their lives. I understand that it was necessary for the character development and the desired ending but I consider it a little unrealistic, given the circumstances.
Anyway, it was a good story so in my oppinion you should try writing some more.

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Damn good...again

All five short stories are very good in my oppinion. The first one is hilarious...Jesus! The second one was dark and mysterious. Third one was a little strange but more poetic and beautifully crafted. The fourth was brutal but many times life ain't better at all so it's ok. The last one contains some thruths about life which I can agree with.
Overall, you did a great job again. I couldn't wait to finish the stories in order to write this review. You are obviously talented and know very well what you are doing. Keep writing!

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Great poetry

Well written using a rich vocabulary and great style. I'm not much into poetry and, honestly, some of the words were foreign to me but overall I like your work. It clearly shows that you are a well read writer. Good job!

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It has potential

It starts really well but it begs for more. The premise is interesting and it kept me curious about how the events will unfold. The style was good, there were some artistic elements thrown in but the sentences were not over embellished. A great ending could make this story really stand out.
Good job!

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A star is rising

I'm definitely not into romance, I checked out your story out of curiosity and for learning purposes. All I can say is that it's a solid work so far. You've established a mistery in the beginning which is very good and then you are throwing your main character into more conflict, both physical and emotional which is also great.
I like how you can play with words, you've written some really nice/catchy sentences but not overly complicated or over embellished. This is for sure a strong point for you. It was also nice how you've interwoven the details, like the introduction of character names and places with the action. You didn't just state them plainly which might have been boring. At first I thought that Ocean was a cat :)). The dialogue flows nicely and seems natural.
The only thing I can identify as a minor problem, is the punctuation. I think that your comma usage is a little lacking both in normal sentences and in dialogues. These thing can be corrected easily with a beta reader software like Grammarly or Language Tool (use one because you'd be surprised about how many mistakes the eyes can't catch, I know it from experience). You can also google it up, there are only a few simple rules.
These tools will also help you catch words with typo's. You have a few of them as well. Only minor stuff and I suppose mostly unintentional.
So far, the story is great, even for a die hard horror fan like me. Keep working!

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Misterious slow burner

A little slow but interesting and misterious. I personally didn't understand the ending but the mistery kept me reading. Maybe giving some more answers in the end would have been better but that's just how I see it. Maybe I just couldn't pick up the message. I liked the writing style and the concept, however. I've learned a lot while reading this story. You should definately keep writing, you are talented!

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Great style

Not into poetry much but I like your writing style. I think that you have great potential. Ever thought about writing prose? With your writing style, I think you could write amazing stories given some good story ideas.
I wish you the best! Keep writing!

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Great style, great idea, a little confusing story.

The style is great and the plot is promising. For me, it was a bit fast with too many new things introduced too quickly. This might not be an issue for people who like fast-paced stories. Also, if most of this stuff gets explained as the story progresses, then I think that it will be all right.
Regarding punctuation, I would pay a little more attention to commas and maybe reduce the usage of "...". I would suggest using beta readers like Grammarly or Language Tool to correct possible punctuation or grammar mistakes. On the other hand, your knowledge of the English language is very good.
The dialogue seemed natural and flowing. The only thing I personally didn't like was that several lines of dialogue were written in the same paragraph block which is confusing for me.

Overall it's a great idea. It makes you read because it hooks you from the beginning and keeps you there with lots of open questions.
I wish you the best. Keep writing!

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Mindless - one hell of a ride

What I like the most about this story is it's fast pace, it hooks you right from the start. It kept me guessing until the end, it also gave me some ideas about future stories I'd like to write. Good job, keep on writing!

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