A beautiful story which breathes life into the reader
The plot construct is really interesting, it reminds me of a hunger games / divergent lore. I love those! The book starts where they meet amongst the rubble's city, remnants of a past war.
Read the story now
The author succeeds in grasping the tension of the aftermath, socially speaking.
This "breathes" into the MCs as well. We can feel a form of "war" infused maturity in them.
He's depicted handsome and mysterious enough for us, the ladies, to get a hook onto that rebel of a Caleb.
It is beautifully written and sentences well alloyed with each other, as the story flows. I have nothing to say, the writer has put a lot of effort and I can feel the attachment to her MCs. It's important, because there is this tacitness that cannot be written consciously. If you love what you write, the readers feel it, and that can only be AAA+.
In terms of development edit, I was a little tiny bit confused. The war seems to be in the past, yet Caleb stands on rubble and the smell of crushed animals decaying below still hangs...That sounded off for me, because animals just turn to bones or whatever after a certain time, the fact that there is still carrion, is inconsistent, and if not, add a sentence that explosions from rebels are still happening (this is a pure assumption).
Also, in an era where its danger is supposed to fill the book with tension, the explosion in the school. I would suggest to rephrase this paragraph when the bomb detonates to add dread, surprise and suddenness. To read a bomb had exploded softens the urgency. It's like my emotions went gliding on the side when I should have been blown off.
There were small elements which could be disruptive such as dialogue tags, links but these are minor details.There were parts where the dialogue should be indented. When a dialogue starts without a tag for instance. A new paragraph should begin.
Also, at one point they decide to have coffee. There are three lines which could describe thoughts. Would they be in italic, it would give a hint to the reader that these are inner thoughts, I guess those were?
Another sentence, which would remove the only bulkiness found, would be when Caleb takes a long drag from his hand-rolled cigarette, and draws his cheeks in, letting the smoke escape in a savoring exhale." that's just a suggestion. I don't know, but the "then" makes it choppy.
Elsewise, these are such minor details when reading the overall well-written story. Her style is easy and her description of their body language, flawless, they don't even need dialogue to talk :) Well done.
This book is sure to be one of the best reads on Inkitt.