EKHO

🇨🇭Switzerland🇨🇭

Sometimes I write high fantasy romance. Other times, dark and dirty quirky stories🌹

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Bewitching

I don't usually read short stories or even come across them.
I feel there should have been more to it. I was a little off-settled when I reached the end. it's a good thing, it means loads of room for exploration. Werther this is the intent of the reader or not. I don't know.
I loved the slow feeling of enchantment taking place although I would have loved more description of the surroundings and the characters themselves. But I'm an aficionado of dark fantasy genre and description is bible there. I loved the relationship between the two protagonists and the magic around them. The writer has talent to transport people and I believe could transport more. I have left comments about minor edits, nothing too hard to change. For those who wish to swirl in a spell, this short story is a as sweet as the breeze.

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Emotional

So much emotions on ink. Well done am not even started that I want to cry. I felt the sadness and despair 😩/ I hope something comes good out of this because otherwise life is unjust!❤️

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Lovesick!

Holieflur is delving into romance which is mysterious, thrilling, and suspenseful.

She takes the time to build their relationship, stressing on hints here and there, careful to give but not too much.
It is very poetic and elegantly written. This book is vibrant and immerses the reader straight from page 1.

As mentioned in the rubric, too much can slow the pace and overall flow and create a monotony feeling. Flow is critical and, if not dynamic enough, can quickly lose the reader's interest. I also suggest enriching the context of their interaction so that the reader can discover more of them in different situations.

I am well aware I had access to only the first chapters of the book, which is not enough for me to verify this hypothesis throughout the storyline. However, the first chapters must keep them on edge.

Overall, it was a pleasure to read. The choice of words and world-building were flawless. I greatly enjoyed every second of it, and will not hold myself from reading it again. Clap clap.

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Time Tamer

Roberts writes superbly well! Her imagination is an ode to fantasy, and I cannot stress more how good of a writer and storyteller she is. Little suggestion, perhaps narrow down the number of characters introduced at the beginning. It is a huge family you have there, and the words building around and its magic are already so intricate that it would be a shame to lose a reader in there. (He or she or they would love it, of course, but would he ever come out of it? :p) It is one of the best books I have ever read on Inkitt.

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Nightshade (Greenshoes Contest)

I'm hesitating between providing a 3 or a 4 for plot, however, I feel the author has put a lot of work and effort in this story, and I'm a lone reader. I keep in mind my own subjectivity and ability to understand.
The author's vivid imagination threw me into a dystopian post-war Galactica world. I loved finding out Nightshade was a vessel! The female lead is strong and well-fleshed. I assume she is tight-locked because of the resonance of this war-torn era. I'm excited to know what happens next. I advise introducing certain essential elements straight at the beginning to help the readers situate themselves. Hades, Nightshade, the protagonists, why they are saving their friend, why he was incarcerated, etc. Backstories add intrigue, but if they are put back to back, they can confuse the reader, and it can be a challenge to get back into the present story.
The very first paragraph of your story took me in the wrong direction. I discovered Cordelia only after a while, assuming it was some foreshadowing regarding Aine... Overall, I was very excited to read this story. The setting and characters are o so original, and the plot, yet to unravel itself, can only be great. Don't be scared about my plot rating, this is because I was only allowed to read up until chapter 7. Once plot elements greased a little, enough to provide direction, I'm a be sprinkling some 5s.

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I love playing with Fire!🔥 And this IS Fire!

I’m a supporter! I’ve only read the first chapter so far, nonetheless this story seems promising. The character is…well, full of character, one we love to relate with, sort of a sexy behavior, with hints of coolness and boldness at the same time. Yet, we can feel a slight defensiveness, got the brains when facing danger! Excellent! 1 st voice! Interesting and very rhythmic.
I can’t wait to read more of this newly discovered (for my case) writer! Well done! Am sold❤️‍🔥

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Amazing plot

I loved this story, I landed on this book because we follow each other and interact and got stung by the bee of curiosity and am happy it bit me in the right place! Writer you have an imagination that goes beyond simple lore. I love how you have structured your plot and the MCs. Tell me if am wrong but the MC is a shy creature - I want to know more about her. Your MCs have so much to say, please let your readers have a share of her mind, her surroundings, what she touches, smells and hear. Great job overall💪💪💪💪💪❤️ I have many ongoing books am currently reading but I will pop back again because well… the bee stung me.

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Carmen Driven

The plot is intriguing and cheeky ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥- I expect it to be…The writer’s strength lays in the development of her MCs though not always easy (dialogue, timeline etc…) you are challenging yourself Writer! 💪
I kept turning the page so the narrative flows amazingly well.

🙌 I would keep an eye on the words used, they are your best companion as well as the prose. Some sentences were tight whilst others flowing with their content. I often use shorter sentences for short term solutions / Quick decision making, fast actions and émotions, because emotions are brackish, mostly impulsif, flittering in the brain. Longer sentences for descriptions, memories and inner thoughts and feelings + momentum / suspenseful action described, keeping on edge.

Slowing the narration with a long and rich description about something should serve your storyline and reader. There must be a result. I was expecting something, i was on edge when you took the time to describe her in the shower but nothing came. I felt a little blank. I was expecting her to trail on an old scar or a tattoo…but no, a word to toy your reader with? (That’s only a suggestion) I’ve very much enjoyed your story and I think you should keep up the good work.

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MORE!

Writer! Why so short? You cannot leave your followers in the dark. For we have tasted your pen, more ink for blood is needed! I crave for your chapters, hoping you shall make my imagination rise from this chapel’s ground.

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Fifty shades of black!

ok, so I'm being honest. I don't read bdsm and stopped at chapter 6. I encourage the writer and appreciate her research in the matter. The plot seems intriguing. We can definitely feel the domination and submission of both. There is a little feel which clearly helps put some 3D to the characters. I will come back once finished if I dare too ;) I stick to the writing style, plot and efforts put into this story. Aware and informed before hand of the raw manuscript posted here. I accept reviewing as such. The author has a lot of potential and i can only encourage to polish over and over her style which I am sure will reveal a light of splendor.
Intriguing yes, a turn pager of course!

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Agatha Christie 2.0

This is a diamond in the rough, noteworthy, in progress. For all the aficionados of mystery crime, this one is a sweet one which will keep you on edge. It sticks to the classical genre (Poirot) however, there are supernatural elements. The world is full of unexplained events and the author was right to add these to this short mystery novel. I lost myself in the manor, I could feel the old dust and the dimness escaping thick curtains. Full of classical references, it's a little easter hunt which I enjoyed participating in. For the writer, I would stress on the grammar and punctuation. There is a signature style which I encourage to polish because it's a flowing one. Also, for the dialogue parts, I would avoid the "play" style and stick to the " said Arthur instead of Arthur - "do you see what I mean". I understand english is not the author's first language yet, the words used are sophisticated enough for any adult to enjoy the reading process. Well done!

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A story fully Spirited

I’m driven by these stories which delve into notions of energy and existence. I'm currently writing a fantasy book series (worshippers of Pan) . And although our plots are totally different, Both share similar characteristics around Qi and the Pan element here cannot be ignored. I loved it so far. Good work.

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Uplifting

I've only read two chapters but so far, I felt really good.
I'm generally a hard core fantasy /horror/ sf.
But the flow just carries you onto the next line like sweet water.

So far, a great read. Keep it going.

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Reluctantly Mated

The author got me reeling about my chair. Nothing compares to a good book like that. It’s one of those with great character depth, and a very unique sense of humour. That I wasn’t expecting at all! The Alpha is terribly Alpha, sweet ass grumpy wolf we love to love. I didn’t think I would’ve had time to read until the end but you know it’s one of those books. They devour your time in the blink of an eye 🥰

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This is absolute madness and beauty!

Donn’s style is both ominous and poetic at the same time… and is fit for vampire literature. While the first version had Llewd wrapped around her little finger, now he is fed with a purpose, one universal one anyone can relate to, vengeance out of love.

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Vampire Story! ❤️❤️❤️

I’m a sucker for those and this story is amazing! The plot got me reading in a straight line💕 hope to read more xxxx

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Helping Others

I really love this plot. It’s original, and a strong message to not lose hope. We need it in this world of ours. 👌
Recommend

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I dared! And I did right!

I wasn’t expecting so much action. And it’s great. This book hooks and I will very much continue to read this. Grant I wasn’t expecting this. 🌟

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Gold!

I’m at a part where I’m biting my nails. She is going to feel discarded, abandoned - worse Max could become a suspect for Spoiler!!!! This is so good! Well written and plot is clear yet well tight❤️🙏🏼💕

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Suffer in Silence

I am in admiration with this imagination of yours. The way you create a stern atmosphere, one of a grey sad orphanage. It’s bone chilling. I love her way of seeing the world and how you managed to pull me into hers. I would just pay attention to the tense as well as the dialogue formatting. I suggest to use brackets. Well done!

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Street Rat Tongue - test

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🔥Sin as you read🔥

This is some hot stuff not for the faint at heart. It’s vampirism that screams sex and danger! I’m freaking loving this fantasy. How the author manages to unleash my Dirty fantasies .. is oh lord 😫🔥😈❤️❤️❤️

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I love Sinful Choices

I’ve been reading it as a side buddy! And it’s been a read every night. I wish the author could write a sequel out of it! The plot is 🔥🔥🔥 Well done!

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Naruto!

The author has created a world out of a world. Everything is the same, yet is is not. She succeeded in fleshing out the characters in ways, it left me thinking, and in the could way. I was surprised by the amount of effort and work that has been put forth to create multidimensional characters out of characters which now seem not as 3d anymore :p
Well done. I would just work on sentence structure and some word choices. But that's all for me. Well done.

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Six Underground

I'm going to stress the fact that not only are the characters well built, the plot itself is unique. The story flows divinely well and I couldn't put the book down. I love angels and demons, and there is one hot cookie in this oven waiting to be eaten. Well done.

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Stories

I'm in bed and begin reading a book called Stories. I just felt so good reading it. I'm a mother of 2 and married. I can't tell how much it spoke to me. It's very real and it's universal, yet you send this in the most heated of ways. I love reading Mark's fantasy which can be interpreted as the "perfect wild authentic, genuine and utterly normal first night...Yet, without the technical details of course which could mess it up. ^^ I was feeling very warm indeed. Well done

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The Befores

I'm a sucker for this kind of story.
I really enjoyed it. It's like if Mad Max and the Maze Runner had a baby and it's name was The Befores. I encourage all the sci-si addicts to delve into this book, because it's one of a kind, one you can't stop turning the page. There is pace, there is action, there is fear and there is love, the fear of losing this love, family. I'm going to indulge myself more on this little gem. I'm happy to have entered this contest because it has allowed me to unearth wonders like this.

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Soren

Soren is a beautiful YA book, I loved to discover Luna grow as she discovers a whole different world. Soren is key in her growth, and this story is simply full of magic and good vibrations. Even if the setting is dark at first, we can feel the light. The writer has a gift in storytelling and describes certain aspects with more than a vivid imagination. Little grammar toads and other technical stuff to work on. The story on its own and how it is written was a pleasure to read.

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Love this story❤️

This story is unique and loveable.
The way the author has succeeded in describing the setting is soul-sucking. I could picture the campus, the countryside, the characters....These were vividly depicted, keeping me inside the story as I turned the page.
There are some slight adjustments in terms of the choice of words. (charmed life to perhaps privileged?)
There were a couple of word repetitions around the world-building (locations), but nothing that disturbs the flow.
I caught some grammar errors, speed sonics, although I know what was implied there :)
Dylan Silver is repeated many times as part of the dialogue. As if he went by his full name, I think he doesn't. I think you tried to convey the wow Dylan of the campus. Look at the MW; Sappir stressed only his name once, but she did it somehow; we knew this guy was the center of attention.
Otherwise, what else? It's refreshing, young, and an absolute pleasure to read. Well done!
This review is given to the author as part of a contest, where stories are reviewed under a magnifying glass. I believe readers will provide a sprinkle of 5s.

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Blacked Out

This book is a gem that, I am sure, will delight all readers once it's polished. Cloe is looking for something like we all do. She also doesn't want to feel pain anymore and seeks happiness. I suggest helping the reader understand who Cloe is and why she behaves in a certain way, explicitly mentioning the real matter at hand. Speaking of hand, you need to take mine as a reader and lead me in this story, describing me your world as if I was blind. (side note, kindly run your work through grammarly or another similar tool, it will work wonders.)

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When no one is looking...

The writer is very talented, she writes smoothly, her imagination infusing the text as we read. Sometimes, perhaps I felt she tried too hard, the choice of words, expensive :). She managed to keep me hooked on a genre I'm not necessarily drawn to. I would suggest to select certain words according to context, keep them simple, modern times, right? :) . The dialogues were of quality, I would suggest to add some description in between lengthy exchange, as breathers, thought.
Well done!

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A beautiful story which breathes life into the reader

The plot construct is really interesting, it reminds me of a hunger games / divergent lore. I love those! The book starts where they meet amongst the rubble's city, remnants of a past war.
The author succeeds in grasping the tension of the aftermath, socially speaking.
This "breathes" into the MCs as well. We can feel a form of "war" infused maturity in them.
He's depicted handsome and mysterious enough for us, the ladies, to get a hook onto that rebel of a Caleb.

It is beautifully written and sentences well alloyed with each other, as the story flows. I have nothing to say, the writer has put a lot of effort and I can feel the attachment to her MCs. It's important, because there is this tacitness that cannot be written consciously. If you love what you write, the readers feel it, and that can only be AAA+.

In terms of development edit, I was a little tiny bit confused. The war seems to be in the past, yet Caleb stands on rubble and the smell of crushed animals decaying below still hangs...That sounded off for me, because animals just turn to bones or whatever after a certain time, the fact that there is still carrion, is inconsistent, and if not, add a sentence that explosions from rebels are still happening (this is a pure assumption).
Also, in an era where its danger is supposed to fill the book with tension, the explosion in the school. I would suggest to rephrase this paragraph when the bomb detonates to add dread, surprise and suddenness. To read a bomb had exploded softens the urgency. It's like my emotions went gliding on the side when I should have been blown off.

There were small elements which could be disruptive such as dialogue tags, links but these are minor details.There were parts where the dialogue should be indented. When a dialogue starts without a tag for instance. A new paragraph should begin.
Also, at one point they decide to have coffee. There are three lines which could describe thoughts. Would they be in italic, it would give a hint to the reader that these are inner thoughts, I guess those were?
Another sentence, which would remove the only bulkiness found, would be when Caleb takes a long drag from his hand-rolled cigarette, and draws his cheeks in, letting the smoke escape in a savoring exhale." that's just a suggestion. I don't know, but the "then" makes it choppy.
Elsewise, these are such minor details when reading the overall well-written story. Her style is easy and her description of their body language, flawless, they don't even need dialogue to talk :) Well done.

This book is sure to be one of the best reads on Inkitt.

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RollerCoasters!!!!

You write with such energy, I felt running for your MC! I love how you use these two as opposed magnets, yet! The best is to come!
I live for the strong mask behind the fragile heart! I am at the first chapters / yet I can only imagine how well it’s going to progress ❤️❤️❤️

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The Garden

The author has a swift style, pulling you in the story as you read the lines. The plot is apocalyptic and relatable, real and therefore terribly frightening.
I can't wait to read more, and to discover what will become of Myrah!

Well done!

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What a world!

I am left fascinated by these magical packs!
It’s a mix between cloak and dagger and new weird genres! I’m left in Awe to read such lines, these infused with bright imagination, I cannot stop turning the page even if I wanted to. Keep going! You’re doing great!

(I will continue to post the little tweaks here and there / which are minor editing details and removes nothing from the larger plot, and setting💪💪💪

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Sitting on the edge!

Come on Cleo!

Don’t keep me waiting! It was so good!
Please post soon!
❤️

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Mirror of a soul

What an atypical plot!

I feel so sorry for the MC, yet the plot itself is a metaphor I so so love.
Keep writing, you are an original writer, and I can't wait to read more <3

*I left minor comments about small edits you could do. Nothing that distracts the reader though. Well done.
The overall grammar is good, and I believe certain areas are more writing glitches than anything else. I also take into account that english is not your first language, and like anything else, writing in a language that is not yours, is an achievement.

Bravo!

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Gutting!

That girl spooked me out from chapter one! And I’m not going to spoil, but the way the writer has managed to put that grim smile on her face is the creepiest, most well-described psychopathic look I have read in a while. We all know terrible things happen in the most remote places- we all know why? Or do we!? Well done, I’m hooked and will continue my read. ❤️❤️❤️

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The kind of prose I live for

This was just excellent! I can’t wait to read more! I love the setting and the MC is just the kind I love. Witty, controlled (is she 🤣) and fun. Yet she puts up with fatality. Way to go!

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Terrify me! Author keep me trembling, I beg you!

As usual, I’m not surprised. I love all three books until now, and although these are work in progress, I will always be coming for more. This story is seriously making my heart pound. I’m so obsessive about these. Please post soon!

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Shivering as I write those words or in another term, Genius.

As a draft, and drafts being drafts, small typo or tense here and there and that’s really all. OTHERWISE, a fantastic hooking story. As I read the book, I was fascinated by the writer’s mind. Who on earth comes up with a plot like that! It’s genius! I’m gonna be bad now, spoiling a little. Unum freaked me OUT! The dialogues’ quality have left me speechless. I don’t know if am guessing right, but to mix such creative narration could only come from a mixologist himself. Bravo

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Great beginning ⚔️

Great beginning! I want to read more. Plot is great. What pain” awaits them?! Mentioned in comments the plot could be honed with more voice given to Anakin. Also, being a sci-fi/ fantasy addict, like real estate 🙈- setting - setting - setting / location location location. I want to be in this training facility smell it, here the echoes of the laser blades electric and alive. I LOVE IT

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⚡️A villain to Love⚡️

I love this plot the Villain! Humans are a farce for him!!! I’m still reading it, but I had to share my thoughts because until now it’s been a breath of fresh air. I can’t imagine what the story would be if the white noise is removed (typo, punctuation and grammar) great work! I love love this story!⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️A light and hilarious read! Can’t wait to read the edited version🤍🤍🤍

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I encourage you to write more

A beautiful pinch to the heart. a wake up call for the brain and a soulful breath for our humanity

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Sharp and Soul-Sucking! отличная работа

Ok! Big player. Your writing is an ode to…writing. Clearly everything was thought of. I only heard her moans and the wind against the windows. It’s harrowing how it’s silent. I love how you played with this. Repeating a same word in two different contexts. One to shut herself and another to illustrate the noise and calm or emptiness around her. Brilliant. I get she was kept in a castle but roughly cared for. It’s rough and it’s tough and that’s how it’s meant. Birth is beautiful and so is a woman’s body. But it gets ugly or trespass beauty when it comes to birth. The body swells. You decided to describe this moment and I bow to you. This is natural. It also emphasized the harshness of her life, her setting and how she may overall feel. The Russian words make it all the more realistic and iron brand the book with its cultural adn. Hence, cultural attitude, social behavior in medieval times (dystopian or not, the worlds are hard!) readers of dark fantasy know it! You are swift with words making your sentence a read easy but wild. Well done! Another great book in the becoming. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎 Hail Queen Bloomfield

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A window to my world

I’m completely biased but wanted to share my views on this book. It’s not perfect, it won’t meet certain needs, neither reach others’ expectations but it’s a beautiful piece of my universe. It’s a mess of japanese culture, theology, greek mythology, a wishful desire for fantasy romance and a journey to self-discovery. This is my first story and, I will be overprotective as a mother is of a baby. I am not a dark person enough to weight down the universe to gloom and doom and cannot help myself to spark it up with rythmes. I won’t apologize. Neither for the words I use, they are meant to be whatever the excuse. (Here I go) this book is beyond all a window to my uncharted imagination. Nothing more nothing less.

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Secrets

The author has a pen that grips the reader. We want to know more! We want the secrets. The plot is one we’re eager to unravel. Well-built, the dialogues energize the story in a crescendo pace, to those secrets we want to find out. To the curious, to the secret keepers and to the story lovers. Well done Author
Jax…!

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O Angel!

You write divinely! The way you describe your characters invites us to want more. You allow us to feel them. They have personality. Your story is infused with so much personality in fact, we are sucked in. Your chapters are short and well rounded, we can never get bored we can never get enough. I breath your pages. Must read. And who doesn't love chocolate and sweets! They truly are the apple of Sin!

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I howl for more!

The writer's swift style and humor disgorge in all the lines of this beautiful story. This is my first Werewolf story, and the first time is always important! This one will be carved in my mind. Fall in love with the characters, both of them rich in personality, mystery and bewitching appeal. It's young, hooking and a true pleasure to read. I can't wait to read the end of the story and can only hope this is part of a series. As much as I want to know the end, I don't want it to stop. Phil hang in there!

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The Dream Ride Comes True!

What an AMAZING plot! I will not be ashamed to admit that as a student, I once dreamt okay-many times- of some sexy prince to pick me up at a bus stop on some horrid rainy day, The author has style and great imagination. We've been told this is not her first language and that's ok. noted. plot. superb. Style in the making; it's going to turn out into something captivating, keep on carving your quill, till it becomes nice and sharp! I can only encourage this with a 5! Of course I would be lying to provide a 5 for grammar- yet - it was tempting because it did not catch my eye, I was too absorbed by the story unfolding.
An author in the becoming. Keep it up it's great.

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Purring in delight

Your hook is amazing. I loved it.
The story starts with a plot full of hope. Taking place in one the most beautiful places in Italy, the story transports us with smell and taste. Cats are never far and we all know cats are magical ;) they add this little spark with their shenanigans. Romance is everywhere filling the air. It's a nice pace. I would love more description and inner thoughts to really help me situate the characters though. Well done! Mewo.

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I JUST TIME TRAVELED!

The author has such knowledge about history, that not only do we dive into the story because of a smooth yet energizing flow, we’re feeling the accuracy of it. I feel I’m learning something. There are many in between lines the author addresses without never mentioning them. Very smart! I also admire the research and efforts put into this riveting story. I recommend for all the adventurers, out there! No! In fact I recommend to absolutely every body/ this book touches a full spectrum. I wish all of you get lost into it! Because it’s a quality bowl of fresh air!

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Hexed

A hellish dream so good!
I purr for more…

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A teasing teaser

Her pen (the author ;) glides along the story without any reader to notice. It is smooth. I don’t know why but I felt closure. The plot is warm like a sunny day, a little bit mischievous, hiding a little sadness.
That said… where is my next chapter?!n

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- A story full of charms -

An enchanting work in progress. Reading the below comments, I can see the writer is taking her writing very seriously, most of the recommendations are being taken into consideration as I write those lines. I am a true fantasy zealot, and this story reminds me of A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula LeGuin. The writer has a style and its a delight to read. There are minor tweaks but as I said above, they’re being tackled. This is just the beginning and I can’t wait for what is to come. A Magic Gem!

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Family is everything!

I was being manipulated through the entire story. Cielo is a double edged sword. I have a feeling the woman, is not to be underestimated. She's got brains behind her innocent face. I was scared of Cielo but perhaps I should keep an eye on Leia.
Gripping!

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I'm hungry, feed me more

This story is delicious. I was trying to figure out what it reminded me of. And I remembered. The tone and style made me think of the great classic, Alexandre de St Exupery's "The little prince."But there's more to it. It has character. I feel the author is an adventurer with a taste for good food and style. Perhaps am I wrong here. There is humor, wit, and audacity behind the lines. The author dared a plot where people live in the Sun and the Moon. I felt transported into Mallow's world. And it brought me back to my teenage years. What was I thinking then....of course, I wasn't a princess, but it's rejuvenating.

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I want more!

There is something deep creeping in her dreams, and now it may very well creep into mine too! Hellish Farrow!
The author has style! We get to live some EDM magic across the character, and I love this! This story is worth a good publishing. The plot is slow-built and profound, like the dreams of its character, and unfolds in a universe of pain and internal conflict. It speaks to me. I believe it speaks to all of us. The character has spirit. Yet, we feel this fragile humanity in her between every line as the plot unfolds. I can't wait for the following chapters. Well done!

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Damned!

The author writes with a fresh style, throwing you in a rush of events!
It is very detailed and that is where the potential is, descriptive writing is very important in horror and I believe the writer is in the right direction.
This is fresh from the print, very raw in its own way, undoubtedly a story in progress.
I love the theme as well as plot. I would love to see the style emerge from the polishing.
I recommend to punctuate your sentences, I was short of breath many times. I will for sure adjust my review for the greater once these minor editing details have been corrected.
Well done, it's a promising start.

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