╚»★«╝ Ⱡ₳ĐɎ฿Ʉ₲ ╚»★«╝

╰☆☆ ꀎꈤꀤ-ꉓꂦꋪꈤ ꃴꀤ꒒꒒ꍟ ☆☆╮

яєα∂ αи∂ ωяιтє ιѕ му ραѕѕισи 😁 ℑ 𝔞𝔪 𝔞 ℭ𝔥𝔯𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔞𝔫 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔪𝔢 𝔗𝔢𝔡𝔡𝔶;𝐼 𝓌𝑒𝓁𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝒹𝒷𝒶𝒸𝓀... 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎𝑜𝓊,🤗

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Any message about God is a good one

I'm just going to lay it out there. Any message written for God or about Good (positive) is good.

Although you were a minor when you wrote this, it's still personal, and for you to upload this on Inkitt must have taken guts, showing everyone a personal point of view from yourself, is guts... you are strong for doing such a thing.

And, honestly… it was sad yes, it touched my heart reading this, and it’s good…

Thank you for showing such bravery sweetie, I know many things happened in your past, but you're all grown now, and everything is fine now…

God is always there, although sometimes we don’t see it, but He is, and He always helps. Thank you for uploading this book…
Once again, I know it’s personal, but so little people do this, and so little people are firm enough to upload any message about God.

This is touching Letters to God.

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Insanely AMAZING

One thing is for sure, I LOVE this book... it's so good; I want to scream...

Let's start with the plot-I love the plot, it's well explained and one can make out the surrounding, the world around the characters takes place in an ancient time, as I understand it) and it's emotionally well explained...

Characters -you explain and express them well, one can see you thought well upon this, when you created this book in imagination... one knows who, who is and can tell what they are doing and how they look...

As for the paragraphs-I still say separating them, perhaps three to four sentences in one paragraph would make it easier to read.

Your writing style is unique and well... I would say, learning a little more on how to write mature words, would spark this book more to life...

This is one amazing book, and I recommend this to others to read, it's well written and with so much imagination inside of this splendid book... 💕🌹🤗

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Improvement can be developed through writing

Although this is the first chapter :) I will leave a review and update it as the book continues :)

I like this story so far :) It is inviting and I love reading ice skating books or watching such stories (like Ice Princess lols)

The plot of the story is good so far, but there could be improvement (Like I said, this is the first chapter, so there isn’t much to talk about :)) my suggestion is to explain more how the world around her looks :) I don’t say explain every single detail, but short paragraphs about the surrounding would give us more insight about what is happening around her :) I know third person writers love explaining the plot in extreme detail: x but a little more :)

I like your writing style :) I didn’t see any Grammarly issues so far :) can I just say to please watch the present and past writing :) it’s so easy to get confused with, which comes where and I understand as a writer myself, I also get confuse :) but it’s good so far :) if you say stood (it means past) stand (means present) nodded (past) nods (present)
See… it’s easy to get confuse :) I am sure with further writing you will improve with such small detail :) Also it will sound better to explain… rather than she nods… she nods slowly or she nods swiftly :)

Like I said :) no Grammarly, spelling spotted :)

Another thing :) I love the characters :) although I wish there is some explanation to how they all looked, I know writing each personality and how each one of them look is hard work, but important sweetie :) character developments and description is highly important in every single book you write :) we as the readers want to know who we are reading about :) eyes, hair color, physical futures… facial futures… these things matter sweetie :)

Writing in emotions can also explain a lot more :) I don’t say explain in severe emotion, that the character practically breaks down, or jumps like a kangaroo with each situation, but please bring emotion inside :) the part where she feels that she is leaving her family to go half around the world :)
(Her little spirit tears thinking of leaving them behind to pursue her dream — she devotes her watering pedals and sneak the droplet patting her skin)
I don’t know if this helps, but perhaps something like this :) emotion makes a story grab the reader :) when I read a book, I want the feel the pain, the happiness, the sorrow of the reader :) I want to be a surprise, I want to laugh and cry along with the character/s :) I want to feel what they feel and updating such small matters, will grand you that special bonus.

I don’t want to sound like a nagging reader, demanding things, which should be obvious, but this is just my personal perspective of what I have read so far :) I know with further writing, comes further developments in writing and each writer learns through reading and writing :)

I am not a perfect writer myself and I too, make mistakes sweetie, :) but we all learn as we go along :) I hope this review helps :) I might not give strict, reviews, but I try to help where I can :)

Happy writing sweetie and continue writing :) I can’t wait to read more :)

I hope this helps sweetie :)

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Beautiful "")

What I have red so far is great "") ((although I have only red a few pages, I will continue to read to find out what happens "")))))

I like the way you explain things and the way you use the surroundings as your advantage...

The story speaks itself out of past tense and which is understandable "") (which makes it almost sound like a bed time story ""D which is sweet) "")

Your writing style is sweet and flawless "")
And the characters is really well explained "") I like the tough pretending girl but deep inside she is a emotional train wreck and the best friend which always keeps her chin up and then the boy (thank goodness isn't explained how attractive ---and all about his body---)) sounds really nice "")

I don't see any mistakes so far and I like everything about this book !!

I thought you might need a review since you wrote me such a awesome one so here is yours ""D

This is a awesome book and I love it "") very inviting and very well explained "")

Alright happy writing "")

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Very Good "D

Although I am still busy reading I love it "")

Emotionally and readily (if that make sense ""P)

I love how you use emotions to explain the character and the plot and I love how you write "") it's really amazing, this book has so much future in it and you have a good book going..........

Although there are a few spelling mistakes, you still write lovely "")

Keep up the good work and I will continue reading to discover her life more "")

(I do hope this comes in a collection, that would be awesome "")

Although the diner scene reminds me of -----A Cinderella Story (And I LOVE Cinderella ""D) ----- lols it's still awesome......the emotions you explain through the character's eyes are a-m-a-zing ""D I love how she can examine the world and still keep her head strong even though her world is falling a part ""D

aright happy writing "")

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Future book

First off this is a good book ") "")

The plot of the story is explained really well "") I like the fact that the author uses advantage of the surroundings with her characters "") Very detailed "")

Okay so I am giving this 4 stars because I feel that the fighting scene is way too long!! (Please don't take this the wrong way ""X every author writes differently and explains differently and even if the book is good, the fight scene could be changed into maybe a shorter version "") you can still keep the talking and everything in between in but please work on the fight scene... (example the scene you wrote when she fought against the other man in the ring, that is a good example because it was short and it didn't drag along....if you could change the fight into the one before then you are good to go "") ((((also doing some research on fighting can really help you out ""X a little tip ;))))

There are a few grammar mistakes here and there but if you reedit the book and work on them you will be good to go "") (the reason why I also give it 4 starts...........)

When you write scenes that are too long you tend to drag the story out and although this story is really good and I like it a lot, I would say if you fix the minor issues, you are good to go

This book really have future in it, it is inviting and easy to understand ") "") Please please don't take this as a bad review ""X I am only here to help as a friend and I like your writing and this is really a good book honey "")

Keep writing and happy writing "")

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Really Good ")

Okay so this book is really nice ") I like it and you have a good book going on here....")

The plot of the story is good planned and it's easily explained and well thought of ")

I don't have complains about your writing and it's really good ") your English are really good ")

Okay there is a few errors I noticed...full stops and you start your next word straight unto the full stop..."X Oh and there is some errors on your words.... example (where words should be ---look----you said looked---- if you fix those small errors it will be perfect ") (like it already is "D)

but your spacing in the story is easy to read ")

You really have a great book here and I really like it---")
This book really have potential and I will keep on reading...")
Please don't take my review as a bad one because I am only here to help as a friend ")

Keep writing and happy writing "D

(I am not really into the whole ----- grab me and jump on me scene ----- but it's not so bad..."X)
Alright happy writing "D

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Heart warming ")

This book is very interesting and I like the way it's explained ")
This is a good story and the way it's explained is Heart Warming ")
I don't see anything wrong and I honestly wouldn't explain it better because the book should stay like it is ")

The plot of the story plays off into the character's emotions and this is sometimes even hard to explain but you are polling it off nicely ")

I like your writing style, it is really nice ")

Further more, I don't see anything wrong with the book and I hope it continues as it is "D

Happy writing ")

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Luminous

Overall I like the fact that the author uses details about the situation surrounding them and including the beast...each detail brings out the imagination in one and I also would add that the author have a wonderful imagination...

Keep up the good work

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This is amazing!

This book is amazing... :)

I don't read this kind of book, but I regret not doing so, it's really an amazing book... please keep updating...

Once this book is done, I will give a proper review of everything...

Plot - the plot is well explained, some parts a little fast-pasted, but I guess in the rushing moments, sometimes an author forgets... but no worries, it's still good, and well thought of.

Characters - I really do love your characters... all of them, even the hating ones... you thought well of them... every single one...

I didn't exactly spot the mistakes, haha, was reading for real... just felt like I was leaving my comments way too late, so, I hope this review actually means something... 🤫

I love your writing style... it's unique, and you are an amazing writer... I know I say that to a few books, but I'm picky about books, so, I mean it lols

Keep updating and I will continue reading... as I have said, once this book is done, I will give a proper review on everything

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Amazing book - I love it

This book is one of the best books I have read in my lifetime, and I just wish there were more updates...

To help you edit this book was so much fun, and I still wish to see that memory lols...

Although there are only four chapters, if you finish this book (in our generation haha) I will write a full updated review... and recommend this book, because it's amazing :)

Plot - the plot is amazing... I love the idea which you created in your planets... you planned this well, and one can see where they are and where they come from, where they were heading, and how the surrounding looks :)

Characters - they are amazing... I love the girl character, cheerful, yet she doesn't pity her memories, nor her strength.
Liam is one heck of a character - he knows his strength and although he pities his memories, he refrains himself from interrupting his path.

Writing style - let me say, your writing style is thorough, but I feel you can mature it... I know every author learns how he/she writes and with time finds the knowledge enough to write more mature, and I'm not judging your writing or saying anything offensive... I'm just throwing honest nets here. :)

I remember helping you with those errors, but still there are minor ones, but you will fix them in time... of course...

All in all... I love this book... I felt every emotion; it shocked me; I cried along, laugh along... I love the emotion dwelling in this book and please keep the emotions. joining... I love emotional books haha

Please update soon... it's been a few months now, but please...

You are a unique, wonderful writer and never give this up... 🤗🦋

Oh, I recommend this book...

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Very Good

Let me say it was a wonderful book...

I'm just going to be frank here... I had difficulty reading with the swearing... (I'm not one for much swearing... uhm... those private words) but still... it doesn't make the book look bad or anything and please don't take this the wrong way.

The plot of the story was interesting enough... could make out what's happening and when it's happening...

The characters are interesting and well planned... you thought them well...

I didn't see any technical errors...

I can say that I like the way you write, but mature your writing more... and also work on the spacing of the paragraphs, three to four sentences are well enough to read nicely 🙃

All in all... nicely done... 🙃 you're a wonderful, unique writer... never give up on that, sweetie...

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Damn good

Let me start by saying... I don't read erotica books... I don't...

But this book was insanely amazing... amazing... AMAZING!

The plot of the story was well planned. One could make out what happened around them and where they were.

The characters were amazing... I loved them, (although I don't read books like this) I still loved the characters, all of them... although I wished personally I could kill the mother. But she turned out all right.

Your writing style is AMAZING! What I loved about this book was the story-line, even if it was supposed to be about one thing... you crafted a beautiful story through it and I adore you for this...
I felt their pain, their happiness, their love... I felt them. Emotions and I salute you for this.

I didn't see any technical errors; I guess I was so into the book, lols...

Never stop writing, please, you are amazing; you are AMAZING!

YOU ARE AMAZING!

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Simply Beautiful

I almost cried... I want to cry... this is beautiful, this is beautiful... I feel so sorry for them, although I can't relate. Still, the emotion is there...

You did it again... writing in emotion is so beautiful; I love it; I love how you take one simple word and change it into a beautiful one-page masterpiece. 🦋🤗

Never stop writing, sweetie, you are an amazing author; I hope you will write a book one day? That would be even more amazing... I would love to read it if you do...

The characters are well explained, every detail tugs on my heart, the way Sarah feels about her father, she may be young, but she still has emotion, the way her mother feels when Sarah keeps asking her, it's brilliant, their emotions mashed into this book...

The depression is there, but it doesn't assume the book, it doesn't control the book; you keep the level balanced, their emotions, and the memories...

If I can add the memories part, Inkitt provides tools to use, to split memories from the story...

All in all, I love it... Keep writing sweetie, you are amazing...

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Beautiful

Aww, whoa, this is amazing... I can relate to this so much... every sentence of this book... (although my husband worked security shifts at the time) but still... this brings back so many memories of myself...

There were a few mistakes, but nothing serious... :)

I love your writing style, it's unique and sweet and mature... :)

Keep writing, sweetie... 🦋🤗

Jeez, it's true what you say though, about a child binding a relationship with strength, I can say it's true... it bonds a relationship, in love and strength... it's something no one can explain... having a child changes one's lives completely, in a lovable, positive way, something which you will never let go... 😭🤧🦋🤗💕

I LOVE this... 💕🤗🦋😘

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A wonderful book

Let's start with the plot - since this is an emotional book, I would say this book needs attention and editing, you are rushing the plot sweetie, there isn't much explaining on the plot I can make out where the characters are, but I don't know how the area looks, their houses look, the school looks, including his working area.

All I see is, he is visiting there; he is studying there; he is sitting in his corner feeling sorry for himself, but nowhere in the book reveals it, how his surrounding looks. Please work on the plot, at least try to explain what is happening around him. Everywhere he goes, he experiences some emotion toward the building, but giving a brief explanation toward the surrounding would make the book more realistic.

Character development - You have excellent characters, very daring and emotional characters, and I see near the end you started explaining how they look, but also in paltry words, character development is important in any book, they are expressing feelings toward each other, yes; I noticed it upset them most of the time, but try to express them in other ways too. Shock and yelling are most of the words using to express anger. However, they need more expressions; they need more suggestions on how they express it.
Please try to work on this, I know it can be hard sweetie, but reading other books will give you an insight on how character development words, I know it’s something I struggle with too, but it’s important.

Your writing style is sweet, but every author builds their own unique way to write, any author picks up a thing or two about writing styles in learning, it's not in everyone's heads to be writers, but you have a wonderful imagination, and you don't suck at writing, you just have to learn yourself how to use your style.

Using Grammarly, and ProWritingAid will help with those mistakes, it also helps in which style you want to write... I enjoy writing informal and casual sometimes. You can set the settings according to your needs, and it helps.

Another thing I picked up is, you tell the story, instead of showing us... now I know you are still young, but it can be taught, by reading other books and learning from them, if Inkitt doesn’t help… I recommend Sherlock Holmes, it’s the best book for me and I learned much from it, books from the 90s are incredible with learning…

Don’t give up sweetie, you have an amazing imagination, and I hope this review helps, and although I’m also not perfect in writing, all I want to do is pass my knowledge to another, and I hope you keep writing.

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Seriously amazing

This book is amazing...

I felt every sting, every punch, every hurt, everything lols, even my heart raised on some occasions...

Nothing wrong with the Grammarly or Punctuation...

The author's style of writing is flawless and although some parts could be modified to sound more realistic...
like the scene where they punch and shoot them... perhaps showing what happens and not telling us would sound realistic...
and the part where she felt the needles... showing and don't tell

Overall... This book is AWESOME lols

I will continue to read and update the review as the book goes on 😁🌹🤗

Keep writing and happy writing...

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Totally Amazing :)

Okay, so first things :) I really love this book :) I have finished up to the last chapter you wrote and I am glad to return this review :)

The plot of the story is written well, I have no complaints about it :) in the beginning; you wrote that it will be long pages and I don't have an issue with reading long books :) I want to add, that adding spaces between the paragraphs would make things a tat easier to read :) I have learned from such experience, many have babbled about spacing... difficulty reading :x

The writing style is amazing :) I love how you swiftly change with each character and how the circumstances also change along with your writing :) many don’t give attention to such small details, details about how second and third characters act, how other unimportant characters act around them :) many just trug them off and concentrate on the first and perhaps second or third character :) you chose a personality for every character :) even the unimportant ones :) and I salute you to that :) each individual in your book is written superb and your writing style is unique and definably one of my favourites :)

Although I spotted a few sneaky spelling mistakes :) they don’t exhaust the book :) just something we all miss :)

Might I add, instead of explaining how well the world looks around Robyn… perhaps try to explain how she sees the world, like you did in the first page, I noticed how the book moves along, you sort of lost sight of explaining from her point of view, into explaining the world’s point of view :) I understand completely you don’t like the first person :) but just to be honest…

What I also noticed is some missing information (which I assumed will be added later on?) What happened to his father? I might have missed it, if you added it in the book. Why are both their parents constantly fighting? Is there something triggering them? Why is his father such a nasty dad? These little information adds why it is happening and what causes them to erupt :)

try to shorten the length of the book :) I agree with skipping a few paragraphs to read only the sayings :x although you warn everyone it is long :) Inkitt says you can write up to 1500 words and if I might add :) write up to those words or even 2000 if you want and perhaps end it with something that happens to her :)

:) I enjoyed this book :) I rarely read teenager books, but this one was worth it :) as a friend, I am still learning as everyone else :) I might not give such aggressive, strict reviews, but I am also trying :) I am still learning the ropes as everyone else, but if my review does not fit your writing :) just ignore it then lols :) I don’t mind :)

If pages become too long, they drag the reader's attention away from what is happening :) at some points; the world spins around her and then, at other parts, the world spins around… well the world :x I guess one can lose sight of what is happening in the book :) I understand that third person writers love to write about almost anything… including the characters, surroundings and whatever happens in between and sometimes, it becomes boring, if only the book revolves around the world and not the characters :) not that you drag your characters down, because they are amazing and well written, but looking at those things will surely boost the book :)
— She walks to school and spot a butterfly fluttering its magnificent pinkish/brown wings… she imagines what it would be like to fly, rather use legs, which seems to drag sometimes — see what I did there? :) and I am sure you are already aware of it, since the amazing review you gave me :)

I am dragging this review out haha :) anyway ——- on to the point :) dragging the surrounding out diminishes the characters and they are just as important as the surrounding itself :) like I said before; I am not a perfect writer and you taught me a few things about writing, which I learned I was doing wrong :) so I hope this review helps pleasantly… :)

So on to the characters :) as an emotional lover, I love it when people use emotions to explain their characters; I love reading how they feel and how they act around these feelings :) Robyn likes Adrian and clearly they have strong feelings towards each other (with the shuttering and all) but I would suggest… explaining their feelings more :) how does he make her heart flutter? How does she make his knees wobble? Since she never experienced love before, it should be something that melts her completely? Another question… why does she hide from Conner? Who is he and where does he fit in her personal life? She dreams about being in love, but with Adrain she obviously experiences some sense of romantic side :)

Perhaps edit those parts more… —- his pedals peers through her soul, as if he is trying to read her thoughts… —- emotions is such a strong word to write about and honestly, emotions makes a book stand out :) as I saw in your video, you used emotions to explain the situation and I loved it, but it has to be the same in the book :)

I love how you use shuttering, because she fears social interaction :)

I honestly have nothing more to say haha :) I am out of words :)

Primary thing is, I love your writing, and this book is something worth reading; I recommend this book to others and I hope you achieve your dreams of publishing this book and making a movie of it :)
Keep writing and please take this as a friendly (friend to friend) review :) I did try my best tho, I hope it helps :)

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Great work :)

For me, this was an unfamiliar experience reading :) although I have a vampire series of my own (unpublished) I really liked this book 1 :)

It was enchanting and capturing; the author put in a lot of work in this book :)

I noticed a few Grammarly mistakes, but the author can easily fix them, although one can read with them, it is not a major issue :)

The plot really well explained; I liked this idea in the book and using emotions and the surrounding as an advantage is a well-done thumbs up :)

The characters well explained and one could make out from, time to time, who was who, although at some stages confused at what was happening and yes, I had to go back a few steps to understand what was happening, but no biggy :)

I recommend this book to the future readers out there :) everything inside of this book is alluring and might I add, I also cried, laughed, shared shocking moments and rarely books do this for me :)

Happy writing and keep writing :)

GammaTeddy xoxo

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Scared :x lols

This is something different from what I have read before :)

Scared for their parts lols :)

The plot of the story is a little short, but still one can make out where they are and what they are doing :)

From what I have read, using the environment for your story advantage is good :) using emotion to explain the situation is also good :)

Fixing the minor Grammarly mistakes, (With Grammarly and Pro Writing Aid — it is possible) But it is nothing major, just normal errors :)

Can I also add that using a powerful word case can really strengthen the story, :) it would explain those paltry words into powerful emotions :) and also you do not have to add that the character did this and that... powerful words can explain well enough how the character is acting or feeling at the precise moment :)

I liked the part where she physically explained what she was feeling at the moment; it made me shiver in my seat to think; she saw her sister died and then her life fade before her eyes :) explaining the plot like this, will surely boost the performance of the story :)

This is superb, and I loved it :) please keep writing and I will read further to see what happens to the immortal enemy and the fearing characters :)

Happy writing and please take this as a friendly review :) trying to help the best I can :)

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Good Story ")

Okay so first things first...I like the story and it is nice and different ")

The plot of the story is well thought out but...but...you need to think about the dates of when the story played off...maybe make it in the 19's or so...but overall it is really nicely planned ")

The writing style is different yes and it is easy to read but I would suggest to use stronger words in some sentences ") but still it is easy to understand....")

So far I don't see a issue on the Punctuation or the Grammar but I also did notice the past tense and present tense...I would suggest that maybe dropping a line in between and maybe write POV and the name of whoever the Character is ")

I have only red two chapters and I like it, I cannot think of anything other to add ") You have a good book here and it has potential ")

Please don't take this as a bad review because I am only helping as a friend and I wouldn't want to discourage you ") Happy Writing "")

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Games of aspiration

First off this is a good book ")
There can be improvement in the character (Rather than making her a first off amazing cat woman -- perhaps explain where she comes from and how she became so good in stealing)
Secondly I think the plot explaining is done well (It's sometimes rather difficult to explain surroundings and explaining sometimes too much can become boring, so your explaining is good ")
I think that writing the book in first person view would rather give off a more realistic play as where everything is explained for her "X to be more realistic in this book ")
I would honestly like to see how this story can improve if it was written in first person and I would also like to see how the character can improve if she learned from the beginning and also to see her improve...like a said in the comments, if you want to make her more realistic, then try adding things like, she has night-vision or she can climb very well or she can shadow herself (meaning she has cat instincts or so forth) And also each chapter is different I get that but changing the story a tat into her would bring your story more alive ") it would give readers a new meaning about who and what she is and why she steals and so forth ") also explaining why she is stealing there in the first place, does she have a meaning to even be in that house or is it just a random heist?? Ask yourself these questions when you type the chapter..................."_ you have a good story here ")
This is not a bad review and I really don't want to discourage you ") I like your book and I also see so much improvement in it and so much potential in it "D
You are a good writer ") and remember this is just my advice towards you ") happy writing "D

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2136

Well I think this is very, very good...
I like the idea of overall explaining and what also locked me when I opened this book was that it starts with dates (Few writers like using dates or even destinations)
So overall I like this book and I give you a thumbs up :)

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