Gin_Kira

A new writer that wants to tell the tale that has occupied her mind for years.

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Inspirational

This is a collection of inspirational stories that I really enjoyed reading. They were full of love, and gave the reader some more hope in humanity.

My only critique of this collection is with small errors. They are small and few, and they do not take a way from the experience at all. The only reason I am giving it a four start is that it is consistent within all the chapters. However, I have the same problem. My usual solution is an online grammar checker, and if this doesn't work then I have a close friend read it.

Over all this is a wonderful read, and I cannot wait for your next collection.

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Awesome

I really liked the way you introduced the story and quickly set the fundamentals of the world without giving it all away. You also created characters who are intriguing and three-dimensional.

There were a few flow/grammar problems, but I could see this going far with a professional editor. I can totally see this on a shelf somewhere.

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Great

I really liked this. It was short, sweet, and poetic.

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Good

This is a good story. I like the way you added and discuss things like image problems. I also liked how you introduced the story, with giving the reader more questions than answers.

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Short and Potent

This was a short and to the point story. I honestly was not expecting the twists and turns the author was leading me through, and that was what made the story potent for me.

I would suggest maybe varying your sentences a little bit. The constant "I" statements gave me the feeling of reading in a more staccato fashion, but there were places, like in the fight scenes, that flowed well.

Over all I think this was a impactful piece, and I would recommend this to anyone who likes a short and potent story that will leave you delightfully stunned at the end.

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Aura

Captivating. I was absolutely hooked from the start. I especially loved your descriptions and how the story flowed. There were several scenes that I enjoyed reading, but the scene with the fight for survival was amazing.
There were a few grammar errors, like commas missing, but not enough to take away from the story.
I cannot wait to read more!

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Really Good!

I could not stop reading! You keep the reader continually hooked while balancing just enough mystery and answers to keep me reading chapter after chapter. There were a few grammar mistakes, but it wasn't too bad.

Overall I would highly recommend this.

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Good Start

I really love the idea, plot, and the story so far. The only thing was a few grammar mistakes throughout. It was mostly things like changes in person (The story was mostly in first, but it sometimes used third), not making a new paragraph for a new speaker, and flow. However, I love what you have right now, and I just could not stop reading it. I binged all of the chapters you have up right now.

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Well Built

I can tell that you have spent many hours in cementing and constructing your world and lore. Your writing flows smoothly and is hooking for me as a reader. My only complaint is with how you explain things about your lore. In the prologue you introduce many subjects and ideas without explaining anything. This is common in prologues, but when the next chapter continued on without explaining anything I was a little lost. You did preface this with a check the glossary for explanations, but I personally don't enjoy having to stop every few paragraphs to look at the back of the book and figure out what is going on. However, I am not saying explain it all. Just that it might hook a reader even more deeply into your tale if you sprinkle in a few brief explanations of key words and lore as they come up.

That being said, I absolutely loved this. I liked the dynamics and depth of character you have put into this story. I would highly recommend this to anyone who likes dark fantasy adventure books.

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Soju and Seaweed

First off I love the title. As for the story It was really sweet and could not stop reading it. My only critiques here would be flow and a little grammar. There were a few times that you did not make a new paragraph for a new speaker, but it was only a few times. Other than that I thought it was short, sweet, and a good story overall.

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I love it!

It honestly is a really good read so far. I like your pacing and dialogue, and your plot is really good too. There were a few grammatical errors here and there, but not bad enough to take away from the flow of reading.

I will definitely be following this as it updates and would highly recommend it!

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A Good Read

I really liked this. The characters were interesting and not two-dimensional. The chapters felt a little long for me, at least, but the writing was really good and the dialogue kept you hooked. The plot and premise were also really good.

I would definitely recommend this.

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Great Start!

I really liked the plot of the story as well as the character dynamics. There were a few things I think needs improvement, but just reading out loud should help.
The first would be your flow. There were several places where you repeated facts where it wasn't necessary. This was especially present in the beginning chapters.
The second point would be working on the flow of dialogue. There were several places where the dialogue wasn't natural and did not flow. Again I find rereading it out loud helps me.
The third would be that, especially during the first few chapters, your plot felt rushed. you can slow things down with a little more descriptions here and there. At least that is what I do.

Other than that I really liked it.

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Love This!

I absolutely love this. Your lines and meter are enthralling.

It is a dark and hypnotizing tale you write in each poem.

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Delightfully Dark

I really liked how you described each character, and how you slowly (but not too slowly) introduce the backstory and facts needed for the reader. I really liked it. Keep up the good work.

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A Hooking Story

I really liked your descriptions of everything, my only problem was that to me it seemed that everything was bogged down with so much detail all the time. However I really liked the story.

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Great Descriptions

I honestly really liked how you described your world, and how you evolved your plot. I really liked it.

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Good Start

I like your idea and how you incorporated different shifters into your story. However, I think your dialogue is a little flat and there were several places where if you rearranged it you would have your reader laughing. This story does have a lot of potential, but, besides the dialogue, there were several grammar, lack of descriptions, and flow problems throughout the whole story.

So, in summery, I think your story has potential to be really good, but there are a few things you need to clean up first.

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Hooking!

I really likes this. I especially liked your magic mechanics and your description. I think this is an amazing idea.

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I Really loved This

This was such a hooking story. I really like the descriptions and the levity the author uses. Keep up the great work!

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Really a Fun Read

I really like the story so far. I cannot wait to finish this!

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Really Great!

I really love this story so far. It has dark themes beautifully woven in a romance. I think this has a lot of promise, and I definitely will recommend this.

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Good

This was a really sweet story. Although the grammar was a little problem, I think the reader could follow along.

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A Good Start

This is a good start. I liked the idea, but the execution needs some work.

The plot is an oldie but a goodie, and the character names are unique.
However, these features get bogged down by your grammar, punctuation, and spelling. This is an easy fix though. Just run your writing through a grammar editor and all will be better.

Overall, I think this has a lot of potential. Keep up the good work.

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Good

The story has a lot of potential and is interesting.

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I'm Hooked

I really loved hoe you conveyed the pain and misery of the character. I also how you used vivid imagery to accomplish this. Again I was hooked from the start.

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A Really Cool Wolf Story

I really like this. I liked the premise, and the introduction was hooking.
You introduced your topic and characters well.

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Appealing

I really like the characters and the plot.

The only thing is that there are a few minor grammar errors, but they are few and small.

Overall, I love the premise, and I cannot wait to see where this goes.

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Interesting

I really liked your descriptions and how you keep the reader interested throughout the whole chapter.

The only thing is you have a few grammar and flow errors thought, but nothing that isn't an easy fix.

I can't wait for the next chapter!

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Like Reading a Movie

This is fantastic. I really like how you captured the noir mystery style in every sentence. You never break the flow and theme causing the reader to get fully immersed.

I will defiantly recommend this to my friends.

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Hooking!

I love the premise and the characters. Your phrasing is enticing, and there are places throughout the story that are eloquent.

The only thing is that your flow and grammar are a little off, but with a little editing this story could be fantastic.

I am excited to see where this goes!

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Brimstone

I really liked how smooth your writing is. It is easy to get lost in, and the premise helps with this as well. Overall I think it is a really good story.

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Hooked from the Start

I truly love the way you write, and how easily it flows. There were a few grammar errors, but they were small and easy to fix.

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Sweet

I really like your writing style and your premise. There are a few spelling and grammar errors , but those are easy fixes with a good editor/beta.

Overall, I think it is a good story, and it could go far.

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Ronin

As someone who love the Japanese culture, I love the way to smoothly wove its aspects into your tale. The characters are three-denominational and fascinating.

Overall, I think this is well written and fantastic.

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Intriguing

I really like the style and pacing of the story so far. The use of a riddle and outside the box thinking rally hooks the reader into the tale. I also like the varying paragraph and sentence length. Those really help with the flow, and suddenly, I was finishing a chapter and was onto the next.

The only thing I can correct is there are some minor grammatical errors throughout the story, but they are really small.

Other than that, I think this is intriguing and thrilling. I would definitely recommend this to anyone who wants a story to get engrossed in.

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A Really Great Mystery

I really like this story. The writing sucks you in and before you know it you are clicking next. There were a few places where the dialogue was a bit choppy, but overall it is a great mystery story.

I would definitely recommend this.

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Great Premise

I love the story's premise. Space paratroopers! I also really like how you started the story off in the prologue. This is a neat idea and promising story.

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A great start

I love how you tackle racism and other problems in humanity. I also love how you keep your characters realistic and grounded in possibility. The only this I can see is that there are a few places where your flow is off or your grammar is not perfect, but this is easily fixed in the future. I think this has great potential.

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Fantastic

I love the story so far. Each character is multifaceted and great. The story twists and turns so the reader is always hooked.

The only thing is that there are a few minuscule errors sporadically found in the story, but this is trivial.

Overall it is a fantastic read and I am hooked!

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Really Fun

This is a really fast paced sci-fi, and it’s great. I love the switching of narrators. I think this is a neat take on a sci-fi.

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Neat Read

This is a good read for those wanting a good one shot thriller.

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Truly new

This is a fantastic read. I love how the author creates a world of mystery while keeping the modern styled setting. The use of social media to help in this is truly well done. I also find the speech patterns between the characters refreshing and real. I think this is overall a great read. I can't wait to see where this goes.

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Truly Fantastic

This was an intriguing take on the gods and goddesses of ancient Greece, and I just couldn't get enough. I know that I will be continuing to read this story.

I would defiantly recommend this to anyone who likes a good and fun take on the gods and goddesses of ancient Greece.

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Fantastic

This story is fantastic. The way you write draws the reader in and leaves them wanting more. They way you sculpt each experience makes the reader feel it all. And, the way you punctuate each chapter with a poetic remembrance has the reader suddenly reading the next chapter without realizing it.

Over all this story is fantastic and I would personally recommend this to anyone who needs a good down to earth telling of a poetic and emotion invoking romance,

I cannot wait to see where this goes.

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Intriguing

This is an intriguing book. I love how the author shapes the world through well constructed imagery. I would recommend this book to anyone who loves fantasy books that takes the reader to another world.

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Hooked

This is quite a unique spin on a chosen one type of story. Truly original, and it hooks the reader in. The only thing is a few editing errors. Other than that it is fantastic.

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The Dealer of the Nerds

I really like the story overall. It really hooks the reader in, and have them wanting more. The characters are relatable and fun. The way you write reminds me of young teen books I used to binge and is perfect for your intended audience. The only thing is that you could use a little more dramatization in your sentence structure paragraph brakes. Other than that, this is an amazing story, and I can't wait to see where it goes.

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A good story

I really love this story. It really captures the reader and makes them want more. I can't wait to see where this goes.

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The Dog

I love the story and the plot, especially the prologue. I was hooked from the start, and from the beginning, I could see the horror potential. My only critique would be the flow and grammar. I think having someone proofread this for flow and grammar would help, at least that is what I do. Another thing I do is read my story out loud to my pet or to the rubber duck I keep on my desk.

Overall I think this is a great horror story.

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Great Start

I really liked the premise of your story a lot. The elements of magic and fantasy really make it for me, and I think your story has a massive amount of potential.

Now, I can tell our writing styles are vastly different, but putting that aside, this is my critique. There were several times I was put off by descriptive clauses and adverbs that stuck out of the flow of your writing. For instance, when you used the word "chrysoberyl" for yellow.

Like Mark Twain said: "When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don’t mean utterly, but kill most of them – then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are wide apart.” (citation will be the link at the bottom). This quote is something I use when writing to make the thesaurus a friend not foe. My suggestion, and that's all that is, would be to give your writing over to a trusted friend or maybe a family member to check for flow. Having another pair of eyes has always helped me with writing my book.

Again, I really liked the story and your style. I just think you might want to look back at some of your word choices.

Citation: https://azevedosreviews.wordpress.com/2013/09/08/mark-twains-20-quotes-on-writing/

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