CROW*

²⁰::",* // caffeine and ice cream give me writing fuel

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Promising

It is certainly an original idea, by all means, an interesting plot, too.
I wanted to rate the plot a 4 because I was quite confused, but I also know it would be unfair since we are only at chapter 5. I'm pretty sure with the right pieces to the puzzle you can make such an intriguing twist to the story, and everything will fit together.
There are some minor punctuation and grammar mistakes in the blurb and the story, but you can read over them and pick them out quickly.
Another tiny weeny issue is how short the chapters are....keep in mind that the inkitt word count doesn't only count the words you've used, but also the spaces. like this --->


In conclusion, this story is very promising and interesting, but it also leaves so many questions to be answered.

- Was Alex really just born a 'monster', as in destiny or did something occur in his past that lead him to earn that title?
- A little more depth in Alex's friendship with Demitri will make the reader more sympathetic with the characters.

Anyway, i'm done! :)
Good luck on your story! (and would you be nice enough to check out my story, Queen's Demise)

Thank you

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Intriguing Plot

I loved the idea, it's original and well executed in your writing. I don't read this type of genre, but this has hooked me well.
The problem was the lack of description. You have to get the read to imagine the setting, the character, the actions they make, etc. Yes, you've mentioned where the main character resides and all-- about what was it like? And how does Ethan look like? In appearance? I'm not necessarily talking about eye colour or skin colour-- but things like his build, his height, weight? These things effect our everyday lives and how people would see us. You described Henry's appearance and his plans-- but it seemed rushed.
That's another problem, you wrote too quickly. Try to make a goal of at least 1,500 words. Then you can expand that chapter by chapter. That's what I'm doing with my story, Queen's Demise. For example, you can write 1500 words in te first chapter. Then 1,900 words in the second one, after that a 2,500 words in the third one and so on.
Most writers agree on 3,000 words per chapter, but you can take it as far as you would like.
Anyway, good luck on your story and I hope you found this review helpful! Keep writing :D

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