Jake Hawkins

Fan and writer of Horror and Fantasy!

Overall Rating
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great! But just a few things...

First off, anyone who attempts to write mythology is given a big plus in my book. It’s not as easy to incorporate or add to a story that’s been told for thousands of years so it’s great to see.

Overall: Overall your story is great. I love how you set up the characters, You described who’s related to who and why it should matter. You also let us know right off the bat that this isn’t a modern twist of Norse mythology but instead, your take on it. Nothing wrong with that cause like I said, love seeing the creativity in it.

Punctuation: Your punctuation and grammar is lacking a bit, but every writer (unless they have an editor) will have this problem. I can tell though just by reading you either just wrote it/copy and pasted it and also that you haven’t read it over that many times to correct it.

Wording: Wording needs improvement though. You use modern words to describe what I believe to be an older setting in the book. That can easily be correct if you put some time stamp in the beginning so readers have an idea like for example, “Ylir, year of Skammdegí.” Which in Norse just means The December month Of the darkest year aka winter time. Also another word I found you used is doctor. Gods in that period or even vikings never used that word. I believe healer is a more appropriate word in this age although Vikings believed that healing was a form of magic Called sedir and we’re highly against such things. They would criticize and call those who practiced argr which was a grave insult back then. Also food for thought, there was a goddess named EIR was basically the gods “Doctor” And her gifts were with medical skills. So if you wanna use her instead of a broad term like doctor or healer then it could add More character depth as well.

End: I feel like it’s a great start to something more. Only advice I have is to keep going through it and editing as well as brushing up on your Norse mythology. If you’re going to do your take on it, you’ll have to study the characters you use and their backstories first to get a well rounded feel for them.

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