L_Braum

I like animals, bad puns (especially food related ones) and am currently studying graphic design :) writing is one of my favorite hobbies but it's still very amateurish.

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Definetly looking forward to the rest

Even though at this point in time there's only one chapter, you can already feel the flow of the story and are able to engage with the main character - Mina.
You can definitely tell from your writing style that you already published some works, it's very proffesional without any mistakes.
I love that you didn't flood the reader with explanations but let them figure it out for themselves while reading and 'listening' to the characters talk about certain things - Mitron, Chormi etc.
I also really like Mina, she seems very realistic which I sometimes think is difficult when the person portrayed is young. Not here though! Her mischief, curioustiy and bold nature are very beliefable and likeable!
Definetly looking forward to reading more :)

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Promising

It's an engaging start to an intersting story :) it action packed and I'm interested to see what happens next. Even though we're thrown into a chaotic situation you get a good understanding of what's happening and also a first insight about Bella.
The only thing that kind of threw me was the broken leg I have to admit *sweat* If a grown horse stomps on your leg (especially while its galloping) your leg will definetly snap right through like a toothpick. And if you haven't build up your pain tolerance you would pass out in a second because of the agony. I accept that adrenalin can make the body push through a lot but she surely wouldn't be able to move the leg even an inch, let alone while staying concious.

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Waiting for more

I was really interested in your story because I am quite familiar with the mythology of Charon and was curious what you would do with him. And to this point I really like it - his ability to experience the death's memories and the problems that arise with it.
Your story has a nice flow and you manage to input emotion with your descriptions - I especially liked your use of colors, it makes the pictures more vivid in my mind :)
All in all a very interesting start and I'm looking forward to what happens next. Recommended for all fans of mytholgies with a modern spin :)

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Those characters O.O

I was hooked by the beginning because the situation you described while mundane (parents fighting) was also strangely gripping. As I read on I realised what drew me in: your characters! Each and every one of them, if they are the parents, principal, teacher, Ana, all of them feel very realistic and fleshed out! With just a few sentences we as the readers get an understanding about them because of minute small details.
Of course I also really liked the most important character: Brook. He is moody, has anger problems and has quite a mouth (at least in his inner thoughts) but he is aware of all this and just takes it in stride. I really like Brook and I'm looking forward to reading more about him.
Definitely recommend this story :)

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First three chapter, and I'm hooked

I really like fantasy novels of all kinds, and this one is off to an interesting start!

The beginning builds up slowly, giving you time to immerse into the story. The first chapters ending leaves you wanting more, wondering what's going on.
Bell is an interesting character, in that she's quite likable for some aspects like her good sense of humour but you also see the potential for growth, especially in her social interactions. Can't wait to see how she is going to handle all that will surely happen!
And Nathaniel and Micheal are very interesting as well, in my opinion, and though I'm probably supposed to dislike Micheal I kinda have to say I like him ;)
The story progresses at a nice pace and I'm looking forward to the next chapter! Defintely recommnded if you're looking for a nice Fantasy story.

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Really interesting start

This review will be a bit technical and focused on the first two chapters.
First of all: I really enjoyed them. The story and idea are fresh, not something you've read before a thousand times in some form of other. Especially the community/cult setting is very interesting.

The first scene is engaging, you want to know more about the man in the blood-splattered lab coat. Also, I really like your 'voice', as I'm a sucker for clever comparisons, for example "thin like a cat's whisker".
In the second chapter I especially like the dialoges. You managed to avoid confusion about who was talking and every person 'sounded' different. What I also found remarkable was the natural way you described the different character's looks: these things, like the color of their hair, are noticed naturally by the main person, letting them blend in smoothly instead of slapping the reader in the face with a long description every time someone new appears.

The only things I would correct are some small decimal point mistakes and that in the first chapter a lot of sentences start with 'He', 'His', which can disturb the flow a bit.

All in all, definitely an interesting start :) I can feel the love and thought you put into this story

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