Mary Chidiac

Fantastic!

This story has me hooked! Really great gradual world building that kept me on my toes and you did a really great job of building tension and suspense! Fendrel is a super interesting protagonist - I can't wait to learn more about him, I feel like there's more to him than meets the eye. And the whole world you've created is great! I can tell you've put a lot of effort into creating the world and having it make sense. I didn't notice any grammar mistakes and the style flowed really nicely!
Overall great job! :)

Compelling!

I’m loving this so far! There is so much mystery and intrigue around Elle, I can’t wait to find out more about her and her role in the story. The writing style is good and flows nicely, and I couldn’t find any grammar mistakes so far. Overall nice job, and I can’t wait to see what happens next! :)

Great start!

What a great first impression! Lots of mystery and a great hook right from the start! Can’t wait to see what happens next for these characters. A few grammar mistakes and run on sentences here and there, nothing to pull me out of the story or anything, just something to note (I’m so bad for run on sentences so it tends to be something I notice because I do it so much in my own writing :p) but an excellent start! Great job of defining/describing the world/characters as well, nice clear descriptions that weren’t overwhelming. Overall fantastic job! :)

Good so far - lots of potential!

I had a lot of fun reading through the beginning parts of this story. I'm not usually a fan of the werewolf genre, but this had a unique plot that kept me on my toes and made me want to keep reading! The plot and characters were the strongest parts I think. Sansa feels the most fleshed out because she's the main character, but I'm excited to see more of the others, especially Edward, Xavier, Amara, and Adam. They all feel distinct from one another and you have a lot of great story questions that keep me guessing, so great job with that!
I really liked your writing style - I think you could slow things down a little at times - it still works, but that's just me. I think the only other thing I'd suggest is really going through and doing a round or two of some edits for your grammar. It's good for the most part, but just watch your capitals, and I did notice a few incomplete sentences here and there. Again, nothing editing can't fix! It's something I have to go back and keep an eye on as well. But overall, this was a great read and I had a lot of fun with it! Great job :)

Wow!!

Wow, where do I even begin with this one? I’ll say first off that this is not my first time reading and judging this authors work. I’ve always been impressed by their writing, and this is no exception. This story is a wonderful, haunting tale that is a great twist on the haunted house idea. Aubrey is a wonderful, unique protagonist, and her blindness makes her a very interesting POV character, especially in a story with darker undertones like this. I felt for William and his character, and their connection was great to see. The style fit very well, and I don’t think I noticed any technical errors, so hats off yo you. The overall story had me sucked in from the beginning, and as someone who can be hard to impress when it comes to horror or paranormal stories, I was blown away. Fantastic job!!

Great read!

Overall a fantastic story! I adore your two plots that you have going on, with the real life setting and the more fantasy like vibes of the story Mark is writing to Monica. I like that you switch back and forth, that was a fun touch. I also like that you started with the story Mark is writing. After getting my bearings, I thought this was a really great move on your part. It created a fantastic hook and set up your book well. I think Mark and Monica’s story is very believable and felt pretty realistic for the most part. Even in their day to day life, I felt invested, so great job with immersion. I think where you shine the most is in your writing of the story Mark is writing to Monica. Those scenes were very well done, so massive props to you for that. Overall, I’m loving reading this! Great job!

Great!!

My favourite thing about this writing was the descriptions. They were beautifully written, poetic, and lyrical. Almost otherworldly. They really gave a mystical feel to your writing, which I really enjoyed. As beautiful as they were, I would consider splitting them up throughout multiple paragraphs so that it is not a huge block of text, but the content was lovely. The other thing I loved was the inclusion of Japanese. I thought that was really cool and this is my first time seeing a story with Japanese in it, though I would put the translations a bit more frequently, just so the reader knows what is happening and doesn’t miss anything important. But overall, I think you have something really great going here! A little more editing and tweaking and I think you’ll have a powerful story here. Great job so far! :)

Great read!

Overall, I enjoyed this story! The plot kept me on my toes while reading, and I liked the various characters we follow throughout the story. The main characters especially are very well developed and I liked reading their arcs, and they all ended great. I found Margo to be the most interesting, especially in terms of her lineage, which was a fun reveal that I enjoyed. I think your writing style needs a little bit of tweaking in terms of pace and transitions. Don’t be afraid to linger on certain moments, it helps to connect us to the characters even more! Additionally, watch your grammar, as it did pull me out of the story a few times. But overall, a very cool and interesting concept with a great plot that I had fun reading. I’ve never seen a story like this before, and that’s a good thing! It’s very original. Overall good job! 😊

Potential!

I think this has potential! Dark romance is generally not my genre of choice, but I think the characters are intriguing, especially Vittorio. Why can’t he feel pain? Why is he so different from his father? There’s lots of intrigue there and you do a good job with building that up.
I know you said that this is under construction a bit, but I noticed a few grammar mistakes. Namely, run on sentences and some errors with tenses and things like that. Also, I wanted to say thank you for giving me forewarning that this story is dark romance, as it allowed me to get into the right headspace to read this, which is necessary for me for reasons I won’t get into here. If you want, you could put a disclaimer or trigger warning at the beginning just so people know what is coming as well, but I leave that up to you :)
Overall, I’m intrigued by this story and I think you have something really good going here.

Love this!!

Right from the beginning I was hooked. The way you describe things is so - perfect, I don't know how else to describe it. Something about your writing completely sucked me in, which doesn't happen often for me. You have a talent for building suspense - I loved the use of the flickering lights in the prologue - that was genius! It totally set the scene, I can imagine every part of this story playing out like a movie in my head.
I also found a lot of intrigue with the characters, and I'm excited to learn more about them. Overall, really great job! Can't wait for more :)

Very compelling!

So far, this reminds me a lot of Rick Riordan's writing in terms of your character voice and chapter titles, which I love! It helps your story feel unique and engaging and keeps the readers on their toes, so great job with that. I love the concept of your story and I can't wait to see where you take it from here - I think you have something really special here!
My only critique would be in your writing style and how to immerse your reader into the story. The one instance that sticks out in my mind was when you compared the cabin from the beginning to a captains cabin from Pirates of the Caribbean. You absolutely can do that - I know I make comparisons like that all the time - but what about the cabin makes you draw that comparison? What does it look like? What does it smell like? Is there décor on the walls? Play around with adding details like that, it can help immerse your reader even more. :)
Overall I'm excited to see where this goes and I thoroughly enjoyed reading through this! Great job :)

Great!

I enjoyed reading through this!! You've done a great job of building a cohesive fantasy world filled with great characters, which is not easy to do, so good job with that! I did find the plot a little hard to follow at points, but once I figured out what was happening I really enjoyed it - you do a good job of weaving in mystery and foreshadowing. I didn't notice any grammar or punctuation mistakes either. Overall I think you have something really good going here! Great job :)

Great potential!

I think you have something really promising here! The characters and your prologue are very intriguing and I can't wait to see where they go! I'm curious about their back story and who they are and how they came to be in the situation you present in the story. There's a lot of mystery and I can't wait to see how it unfolds! I like the setup so far. I noticed a few grammar mistakes here and there, but nothing crazy. Overall great job and I'm excited to keep reading! :)

Great!

This is great so far! All your characters are very well established and I can tell who’s POV were in each time it switches, so great job with that!! I think in terms of the writing style, play around with starting a new paragraph every time someone starts talking, I think that could help the flow, especially for the cute or quippy conversations. But I think you have something really good here! Great job! :)

Love!!

I’m not a poet by any stretch of the imagination but holy you have a way with words. Especially day four, that made me feel all the things. I love how you lay out your writing and how raw and from the heart everything is. Fantastic work, I’m thoroughly impressed and can’t wait for more! :)

Wow!!!

I’m really enjoying this so far!! I love your use of imagery, the descriptions are vivid without bogging the story down, so great job with that!! Ethan and U are very well realized characters and I love how they develop throughout the story. Great job with that!! Also, I’m always on the lookout for an original story, and this was it!! Great job! :)

Great start!

I think you have something really good going here! I love the concept and how you're playing with it so far. I can't wait to learn more about Logan, and Ava definitely has more to her than initially meets the eye - great job developing her throughout the chapter! The worldbuilding is great and unique, and all your characters feel very unique - I really liked Scotty but I can't wait to learn more about the leads.
My only piece of criticism revolves around your grammar. I noticed a few run on sentences, so I would suggest playing around with breaking those up. I'm awful for run on sentences in my own writing - I find the best way to help is to read it out loud to yourself - if you find yourself getting out of breath halfway through, that's a good indication you need a period somewhere in there. But that's just me, you do what works for you :) Also, just make sure you end your paragraphs with periods, I noticed a few missing about 2/3rds of the way through.

After that paragraph, let me end off on a positive note. I genuinely enjoyed reading through this first chapter! The world is very well defined, and I can tell you've spent a lot of time thinking about it and fleshing it out, so props to you for that! World building is hard and you've done it well. I love your descriptions of everything, it gave me a very clear picture in my head as to what was happening and what everyone looked like, so great job with that as well. Overall I think this story has great potential and I can't wait to see where it goes from here! Great job :)

Great read!!

Great plot and characters. And a fantastic job of slowly revealing the past in a suspenseful way, great job with that! Madeline is a very intriguing character and I can’t wait to learn more about her and what happened to cause her and Alex to move to Seattle! I love that Madeline and Alex are two career people making it work-I feel like that’s a very relatable situation, but one that you don’t see too often in stories, so I liked that a lot.
My only gripe was some of your grammar and spelling. You went back and forth with some of the names (Kirsty and Kristy, for example) and I noticed a few grammar mistakes that pulled me out of the story a bit.
That may have sounded quite negative, but I want to finish off my saying I really enjoyed your story! The writing style flowed quite nicely, and I loved getting to know the characters and the slow reveal of the past is keeping me on my toes. Well done! :)

Great start!

Loving this so far! The characters really jump off the page, and I totally got immersed in the story because of it! And I can’t wait to see where the plot goes-this feels like a promising, original idea! My one suggestion would be to work on the idea of ‘show, don’t tell.’ You do a good job of showing during flashbacks, which is fantastic, but I noticed more telling when the MC interacts with situations and characters. Nothing major, that may just be aesthetics on my part, but something to play around with if you’d like. Overall I thoroughly enjoyed the first part of this story! Keep it up and I can’t wait to see where it goes! :)

Great!

What a great read! I love the chemistry between the characters and their interactions. They feel realistic and authentic, and it really immerses me in the story! They make the story fun and unique, and the plot is great too! The writing style is nice and easy to follow, and there’s plenty of comedy to be found, which makes the story quite enjoyable to read through. Overall great work! :)

Great start!

I’m liking this so far! I like the twist on the cliche of being attracted to the ‘bad boy’ by having the protagonist be male. Gives a bit of diversity to the genre as opposed to most romance novels being very heteronormative, so props to you for that, we love diversity :D I noticed a few grammar mishaps here and there, my main piece of advice is to make sure you lead with a capital letter at the beginning of speech, since it’s technically a new sentence. Overall I really enjoyed this story so far! Great job! :)

Great so far!

I really like this so far! Great detail and slow world building, and provides a fantastic template for the plot to come. I’m very intrigued! I feel this could go any number of ways, can’t wait to see what you have in store! I noticed a few grammar mistakes, nothing major though. I was a teeny bit confused with the italicized dialogue at first, but once I got used to it I really liked it. Overall a great first chapter! Can’t wait to see where the story goes from here! :)

Wow

I have no idea how to review this, and that’s a good thing. The characters really grew on me as I read through the story, especially Gaia. Also her relationship with juniper was amazing and hilarious, and provided a lot of levity, which helped balance out the darker moments. Also another note on their relationship: I love how it developed, and even though they argued a lot you could tell they cared for one another, and that’s a hard line to walk, so great job with that. :)
I looooooved the dream sequences. That was such a cool idea and I love how it played out, really gave the whole story a supernatural/fantasy feel, which isn’t seen too often in apocalypse stories, but it totally works in this! :)
Overall I loved this. Such a cool story full of dynamic characters, and the last few chapters had me in an emotional roller coaster! Fantastic job! :)

Love it so far!

Really liking this so far! The writing style is great, easy to follow but still allows me to picture everything very clearly in my head. I think the concept is fantastic, and I can’t wait to see where it and the characters go from here. Great job! :)

Interesting so far!!

I’m really liking this so far! Such an intriguing concept of having twins separated at birth, it gives me Star Wars vibes a bit but with more of a fantasy twist. I noticed a few run on sentences here and there, but it was minor in the grand scheme of things-the only reason I notice it is because I’m super bad for it in my own writing. Overall great job so far, can’t wait to see where the story goes! :)

Love it!

I’m loving this so far!! Writing a child protagonist is hard to do, and you’ve managed to keep a sense of childlike wonder and whimsy with Emma while making her a compelling protagonist. As someone who’s been a book worm for as long as I can remember I totally relate to her! All the characters are distinct and have their own voices, and the writing style flows nicely. Overall fantastic job! :)

Love this!

This is such a cool concept for a story! Reminds me of other magical schools that have been in stories before, but this one is still very unique and unlike others I’ve read! The writing style pulled me right into the story from the beginning, and kept me on my toes throughout the story. The characters are great, the world is well described and well realized, and the flow is great as well. A couple small grammatical errors, but nothing major, just something to note. Overall a very cool original idea and I loved it! :)

Interesting!

Great story so far! I love how all the characters interact with one another! I love all the little details too, it really makes the story come to life. Overall great job! :)

So cute!

This is such an adorable story! I'm a huge sucker for romance and their relationship is so wholesome and cute. My only critique is to watch your grammar and sentence structure; it got a bit repetitive at times. Not enough to pull me out of the story, just something to note. :)
Overall I loved reading through this, really great work and such a fun concept for a short story! I must say I'm not usually a short story person but this held my attention from beginning to end. Also I love that you made the honeymoon feel like an epilogue of sorts. It made it feel like we (as the audience) were being let in on a secret or something, which is always fun. Great work!

Great!

Second person POV! Holy that's hard to do but the author nailed it! There's enough detail in the world to keep you engaged but not soo much that it takes you away from what's happening. The plot is very interesting as well and kept me on my toes wanting to know more, and the characters are well realized. Overall a solid well written story and I can't wait to see where it goes from here! :)

Great Characters!

Alijah is such a compelling character! I love that you show the impact of her trauma not just on her character but psychologically as well, I think it really adds a deeper layer to the story and makes us sympathize with her and makes her someone to root for. Overall awesome job at building her story! Keep it up!

Gripping and emotional

Where do I even begin. I’ve never read a story written in this style before, and it was an experience. The poetic style allowed for visceral moment by moment emotional beats that pulled you in and refused to let go until the end. The portrayal of abuse, not just in action, but how it impacts you mentally and emotionally was so well done and felt so real, which is a real feat. I don’t think I can say enough good things about it! My only problem: I wanted to keep reading!! Really amazing job :)

GEA Review!

Reading this story for the GEA was such a fun experience. We're introduced to another world and the concept of time travel through our main character Jonas, who has a compelling backstory in his own right! (which I will not say for spoilers). I adore the time travel concepts used here - the time predictor device especially, but all the rules feel very carefully thought out and make sense for this world - of course you can't travel to the future, it hasn't happened yet! Stuff like that. The time travel (and everything that can go wrong with it) add such great stakes to what is already a perilous journey for Jonas and it totally got me invested. Also I live for him and Melia, and the little anecdotes to our time period just add that extra enjoyment to things. Third person present tense is used for the POV, and it is such a good use of the perspective and suits the story wonderfully. The voices feel distinct as well with the different perspectives used (and the journal 100% feels like Armas's voice) and the grammar mishaps were few and far between. If you are a lover of time travel or just an incredibly well crafted story, this is the book for you!! Really fantastic job :)

GEA review!

I had a lot of fun reading through this story. I think it's biggest strength is the plot and the world is takes place in. There is so much creativity and love put into this story and it shows, and I so enjoyed learning more about this world as the story progressed. The plot is layered and interesting, and it keeps me on my toes throughout, especially with all the characters, but I didn't have any trouble keeping track of who was who or what each character was doing, so hats off to you for that! I think your writing style is good and flows nice, and with a few tweaks it will really bring things to the next level for you. Same could be said for the grammar. You have a solid foundation and overall good grammar, and with a few more edits you'll be golden. Overall, I really enjoyed my time in this world and I'd highly recommend this story to any fan of fantasy or just a great story! Well done :)

GEA review!

I think it's no secret that I am really enjoying this story so far. All the characters jump off the page and the conflicts are masterfully layered and intertwined and provide a fun, gripping reading experience. I'm so invested in this story! Clementine's want to help her father is a great backbone and provides a lot of stakes and gives her character a great reason for being in Moorsville in the first place! Kristian and his arc are very well done and kept me on the edge of my seat, and Clementine and Rohan's interactions are fantastic and so much fun to read, as well as it being interesting to see how these two develop together. The writing style flows very nicely and the chapters are I think the perfect length, and when many of the chapters end on a cliffhanger how can you not keep reading? I thought the grammar was very polished as well, with few mishaps, but nothing major. Overall, this is a well done story with gripping characters and a plot that is keeping me turning the pages! (or I guess in this case, keeping me scrolling?) nonetheless, really amazing job!! :)

GEA review!

Overall, this was an interesting story to read. I’m not one who has read many stories about the mafia and powerful families like this, so I’ll admit I’m unfamiliar with the genre, but this had a lot to sink my teeth into. I really enjoy Eirin as a main character, and I love her strength and her sticking to her guns about this case. Good for you girl! There’s a great mystery with the case that seemingly no one wants her to take on, raising many great story questions. Namely: why? And what is so important about it that no one wants her taking it! I’m sure the mysteries will be revealed soon! I enjoy Henrick and the connection that he has with Eirin, I can only imagine that will grow as well. Your writing style is great and has nice flow too. I noticed one or two grammar mistakes here and there, but nothing major, just small stuff to watch out for. But overall, this was a great beginning to the story and I’m intrigued to see where things go from here! Really great job :)

GEA review!

I had so much fun reading the opening chapters of this story. I think the strongest component is the dialogue; I genuinely smiled and laughed multiple times throughout the conversations. Andy’s wit and humour were hilarious and it was so enjoyable to read, especially her interactions with Daniel. But I love the relationship she has with her sister too. I like how different they are from one another, but are still able to find common ground, but of course not without their own tiffs as siblings. But overall, Andy feels so real, which made me attach to her immediately. She kind of reminds me of Daria from the tv show of the same name, which I really like. The writing style is wonderful, too. I enjoyed the pace and everything flowed together nicely. I didn’t notice any grammar mistakes as far as I could tell. I can see you’ve put a lot of work into this story and it really shows; this was polished and well put together which allowed me to really immerse myself in Andy’s story. Overall, I’m excited to see what happens next and learn more about this family rivalry! And of course, see what happens next for Andy and the others. Really fantastic job, this was a great read :)

Good so far!

As a lover of historical fiction, I knew this was going to be right up my alley from the start. I think your biggest strength is your characters. They all feel well-realized, and their interactions with one another are fantastic, which is hard to do with family systems and have it come across as authentic, and you nailed that. I liked the style too, I think you could have perhaps slowed down a little in places and really let us get enveloped in the landscape and setting of the story. I can tell you're familiar with Dakota territory, but to someone who's never been, what does it feel like? How cold is it, even before the blizzard? You do a great job with the little house they're in, but what about everything around it outside? That sort of thing. It's still really good, but I think that extra little bit of detail will bring things to the next level for you. But I didn't notice any grammar mishaps as far as I could tell. Overall, I had a lot of fun reading through this, and I'm excited to see what happens next! Really great job :)

Good so far!

Overall, I think you have something really good going here! I like the addition of vampires here in a more classic format (gives me Dracula vibes, which is one of my favourite books) so really great job with that! The characters and their relationships keep the story moving forward, and I'm excited to see what happens with Lilly. I think there's a lot of potential for that relationship and you play with that very well. The only thing is - I get that they're vampires and such, but there was a lot of sex going on, and it threatened to overload scenes at times. You can still have those undertones there, because I can see the vibe you're going for, but I'd suggest toning it down just a little bit. But that's just me, you do what you think is best as an author - it's your story after all :)
I liked your writing style, at times I think things moved just a little fast and it was a little hard to get oriented among everything going on - I'd suggest slowing down just a little bit at times, and that'll help us get even closer to the characters! I didn't notice any grammar mistakes as far as I could tell. But overall, I had fun reading this! Great job :)

Amazing so far!

I had a lot of fun reading through what is posted of this story! Ellaire is a compelling character with plenty of mystery surrounding her and the reasons why she was hidden away. Lots of great story questions there. You do a great job of pulling your audience into the story right away with the death of Elaine's father and then the death of her brother shortly thereafter. Again, lots of great story questions that keep me reading! What happened to them? Who is behind their death? I can't wait for the mysteries to be revealed! And I'm very intrigued about Pascal too - I can't wait to learn more about his character! Your writing style was great and clipped along at a nice pace with good flow, and your grammar was good too - only a few mistakes here and there - nothing a round of edits can't fix! Overall, I had a really great time with this and I can't wait to read more! Really great job :)

A great start!

I think where you really shine in this is in your imagery, you’ve got some great, creep inducing touches to it that really gives your work its horror edge. I remember you saying you were a fan of Stephen King, and I can see his influences in this. The concept behind this is great too, makes me eager to read on and see what happens!
The main thing I’d suggest for improvement is a bit in your structuring, and pacing. I’d suggest playing around with slowing down at points, really letting the reader take in the horror aspects. You’ve got the foundation, now you can build! And that’s where things like this can get very exciting and immersive. And then play around with splitting up your paragraphs a bit more, that can help things clip along where you need them to.
Overall, I had a good time with this. You’ve got something very cool here, I’m not usually a horror fan but your use of imagery and clear passion for the genre is what hooked me in! Good job :)

Amazing!!

Despite my sporadic reading schedule, I always look forward to coming back to this story. I am a big lover of anything fantasy, so I was hooked on this from the beginning. I like your take on classic fantasy tropes (prophecies, chosen one, etc) and made it feel fresh and new in your work. I also loved the inclusion of dragons in this, and the role they played, and also the fact that they were sentient. That added such a great dimension to your plot and characters.
Speaking of characters! Eric is such a great protagonist. I felt connected to him right away, and the others as well. I love all his powers, especially his beast-so cool! None of them felt out of place, and he didn’t feel overpowered either-a difficult feat, but you nailed it!
This reads like classic fantasy to me, but with a fresh spin. I thought your writing style flowed wonderfully, and I didn’t notice any grammar mistakes thus far. Overall, I had such a great time with this, and I’m very excited to see where things go from here! Really fantastic job!!

A great read!

Am I fashionably late to this review? Yes. Thank you for being patient with me. Onto the review!
I think your characters are what stand out the most to me, you’ve got some strong personalities and they really shine through on the page. So well done there! Where I think you could improve is in your flow and grammar. When you’re doing edits and such, watch how your paragraphs and ideas connect to one another and try to make this as seamless as you can. I think there’s places that things just move a little too fast, so don’t be afraid to slow down and linger on poignant moments. The main grammar thing I noticed is we’re just small things, like apart instead of a part, for example. Just little things. Nothing editing can’t fix! But overall I really liked your plot and characters, and I think you have something really cool going here! Well done!

Great potential!

I think you have a lot of really great things going in this story! The characters all feel super well realized and they all have great dynamics with one another. I also like how the plot is moving, good pace of introducing and letting us getting to know all the characters without slowing down the plot or anything. Really great job there! If I had a few suggestions for improvements, just watch your tenses (you go between present and past sometimes) and you don't have to say when a flashback begins and ends - you can imply that with italics or paragraph breaks. And a few minor grammar things, but these are all things that a few rounds of edits will fix no problem! I think you have something really cool here and I really enjoyed reading. Great job! :)

Incredible!!

This is such a beautiful collection of works. You have a writing style that is very moment by moment (I'm not sure how else to describe it) with short stanzas and interesting breaks, which gives all your works a unique, raw feel, whether you're talking about the pain of letting go or the sound of rain, it all had emotion and feeling behind it, which gave each poem a great impact regardless of the subject you were writing about. I didn't notice much of anything in terms of grammar mishaps. Perhaps it took me a hot second to get used to your writing style, but once I did it was another detail I absolutely fell in love with and it enveloped me in each and every work. You have seemingly taken topics that don't seem like they'd connect and made them feel intertwined with one another through your style, and it gave your works a cohesive feel. I can't say enough good things about this. I highly recommend this collection to anyone, really amazing work :)

Incredible story!

I had such a great time reading this story! I don’t even know where to begin! I think the concept is brilliant, and I love idea of people modifying the world around them to ignore all the terrible and ugly things about the world. That feels so real – like a plausible not so distant future. So I really liked that. I’m a huge fan of dystopian fiction, but this take on the genre felt familiar, but fresh and original at the same time. Your characters feel very real too. I feel most connected to Switch right now, but Iris is just as strong a character. I love their banter and their more romantic nuances. Very cute, I’m rooting for them. Your writing style flows nice, clipping along at a good pace without rushing through things too fast. There were a few exposition dumps, but I don’t think they were too out of place – they fit the world pretty good. I think some sections could be cleaned up grammatically, with a few awkward sentences and some silly mistakes. But nothing editing can’t fix! They didn’t pull me out of the story though. Overall, I think you have something really special here. I got so invested in the characters and their world, to the point where I was thinking about them when I wasn’t reading! I lost myself in the story, which doesn’t happen to me too often, and I think that speaks to your writing. Really amazing job :)

An amazing read!

I really enjoyed reading this!! I'm loving all your characters so far. Kara is the first one that comes to mind, but I'm finding all of them very interesting, like Stefan and Luz and all the rest. I can't wait to see how everything unfolds! From about halfway through the first chapter, I was hooked! Not to mention invested in the characters. I think first person POV was a smart move for this story. I love it for my own writing, but you use it very well and it really allows the audience to connect with Kara and everything going on for her. I think that was the main thing that got me invested. Otherwise, the various supernatural things in your plot are keeping me on my toes and keeping me turning the virtual pages, so to speak. Your writing style is great as well. I never found that it lagged or anything. I did notice a few grammar mistakes here or there, but nothing that really pulled me out of the story. But still something to note. Overall, this was a great read and I think you've got something really cool on your hands. I haven't ever seen anything quite like this, and I loved it. Great job! :)

Amazing!!

I really enjoyed reading this collection! I especially love your use of figurative language and imagery and that really got me immersed in your works! I think you have the potential for some really powerful works here. The Moors is already there (that one really got me) but I think with just a few more tweaks your other works can reach that too! I think your style flowed nice and I only really noticed one spelling mistake too. I think your themes in the poems themselves could be a little stronger, but I did like that you carried over themes between your works. I think that gives a great bit of connection between all your works, so that was really cool to see! You have a knack for taking everyday ideas (like leaves or a jack-o lantern or a street) and finding the poetic beauty/emotion behind it, which was my favourite part of your works. Overall, I immensely enjoyed reading this collection and I can’t wait to see what you have in store for the future! Well done!

Amazing!

I really enjoyed this collection of poetry! I like your overall connecting theme of nature and how that unified all your works together. You have a really dreamy quality to your writing that lends itself very well to your theme and your overall writing style, which I think was honestly my favourite part! It let me get lost in the words and feel the message of each poem. I can tell you are passionate about your theme, and your heart shows through in your writing. I do think some things could be polished up and you could add a little more in certain places to really drive your themes home, but that’s nothing a round of edits can’t fix! Overall, I seriously envy your ability to piece words together like this. There were many time I just got lost in your writing, which to me is a sign of great poetry! Really amazing job

Great!!!

Mad Max with a twist! I really enjoyed reading this. I think you have a really solid idea here and I can see so so much potential. I think you have a really great cast of characters, Sam is a strong protagonist and provides a great voice and POV for your story. I think there could be a little more connection to her, but this didn’t affect my enjoyment of the story. I didn’t notice much of anything wrong in the grammar/technical department, so great job with that! I think my favourite thing about your story is the concept itself. I really like how you’ve had humanity evolutionarily regress in the future – that’s something you wouldn’t really think of happening, but perhaps if there was some sort of technological outage and we had to revert back to how things were before all that, this could be a possibility! Regardless, I like the twist. I’m a sucker for anything with time travel and your story caught my attention right away. Overall, this is a really great story with lots of potential and a great cast of characters! :)

Fantastic!!

I don’t even know how to begin this, and that’s a good thing. I enjoyed reading this so so much. You have a great cast of characters, and I am really enjoying Nat at the POV character. I feel connected to her and her voice, and she provides a great lens to view your story through. But your POV from ALPHA? Next level. I actually felt connected to an AI and it totally sucked me in. I don’t know how you did that, but I can’t say enough good things about it. Your world feels very fleshed out, reminiscent of dystopian stories of the past like 1984, but you still have your own unique spin on it that makes the genre feel fresh. Writing style is fantastic, and really got me invested in the story. Your descriptions of both the world and characters were great and I could really see myself there through Nat’s eyes. I can tell you’ve put the work in to your world, and it shows. Technically, I maybe noticed one or two small errors, but they were rare. Overall, I am so invested in your world and characters, which is something that doesn’t happen to me too often. But something about your story is very special. I can’t even put my finger on what exactly it is, just a combination of things. I think the world is my favourite part. Just so well realized and something that actually feels plausible. Which is both terrifying and so so compelling. I am definitely going to keep reading this – you’ve got me invested! Really fantastic job 

Great!!

Overall, this was a lot of fun to read. As a massive Titanic nerd I knew I'd like this from the get go, but I can tell you've really put the work in to making this an original story while still making the characters fun. I can see influences of Rose and Jack with Sierra, but she still feels distinctly her own. Aside from Sierra, the other characters are fun to get to know, especially Alec - I can't wait to see how that one plays out! I see that chemistry! You've done a great job with the Edwardian prose too. Aside from a few instances, I really felt like I was back in time! Grammar was good too. At points, the letter writing got a little muddled with the storytelling (as in, sometimes it felt like we had transitioned to what was happening in real time instead of it being something she was writing) but this is nothing a few rounds of edits can't fix! Overall, this is a charming story with a fun cast of characters and a great historical backdrop! Really well done :)

Fantastic!

This was a lot of fun to read! I especially liked the changing POV’s you used. That’s a hard style and have the voices feel distinct, but you totally nailed it! I especially liked reading from the cat POV. That was a really unique touch and you integrated it well! Also - Shakespurr - adorable name. And the other voices were great as well. Plot was absolutely fantastic and full of heart and emotion, I can tell you’ve really put the work in here. I also liked how you started with quotes at the beginning of your chapters. That was a unique addition as well and got me excited to read on for each chapter. I also like how you integrated different languages. I love it when stories do this, but it’s a hard thing to pull off, and you nailed it! It really got me enveloped in the story. I didn’t notice anything out of sorts in the grammar department. Overall, this was a fantastic read with a great cast of characters and a well put together plot and a style that flowed beautifully. Really well done! :)

Great!

Overall, this was a great read! You've really put the work in to making this a unique, special story - you write with heart and it shows. I think the characters are strong and the plot is moving along at a great pace. The emotional beats feel fleshed out and complete, and your writing style flows very nicely as well, and I didn't notice any major grammar mishaps. I think some formatting and spelling could be improved, but nothing some edits can't fix! You use the first person POV well, and you handle the character switcheoo nicely, which is hard to do - on that note, Tara and Phillip's voices both feel distinct and I never got confused as to who was who, which is hard to pull off, so great job with that! I think you've got something really fantastic going here and you've got me excited to keep reading! Great job :)

A great read!

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this. I think the concept of this is absolutely brilliant and one I don’t think I’ve seen before! You integrate it well and provide a good explanation in the prologue for how this kind of ability could manifest, which I thought was cool. Onto the characters! Ryker and Porter are adorable. Enough said. Their dynamic is really sweet and it’s nice to see Ryker connect with someone after being bullied so much. I love the changing points of views too. It’s interesting to see Ryker from outside himself and vice versa with Porter, especially since they have really great chemistry. It’s cool to see how that chemistry is perceived between the two of them. Writing style feels pretty good, it clips along at a good pace. Nice imagery as well. A bit of step-by-step storytelling in certain places, but nothing some edits can’t fix. Same with grammar. Pretty good throughout, just some errors here and there that could be ironed out with edits. But overall, I had fun reading this. I was invested in the characters and the plot, and I found it engaging. Great job!

A fantastic collection!

This collection of stories absolutely blew me away. The ability to take a simple prompt and turn it into something original and unique is a skill that I envy. I wish I had that ability. Also, short stories are hard to write, and you did amazing work with every single one. Each of them had a clear plot, beautifully put together, just, I’m so impressed. Every single one of these works has heart, and it shines through wonderfully. It got me invested in every single story because I could see you in them. And I commend you for that. Writing style was amazing, matching the vibe of each story, from the ethereal end of time to the more relaxed tree house and the relatability of seeing red. I noticed virtually no grammar mistakes, if there were any they were so minor that they didn’t stand out to me in the slightest. I can’t say enough how much I enjoyed these works. They had me from beginning to end. Really, really fantastic job. I feel like I can’t say enough how much I enjoyed these. If you haven’t read Hibernation Dreams, you are missing out on some truly wonderful writing.

Loved it!

I loved reading this story! Just as context, I love shows like Outlander or literally anything that uses time travel in a unique way, and so right from the beginning, I was hooked! I really like that we started in the past before getting to know Morgan. It was cool to get acquainted with this unfamiliar world that Wahya is a part of before transitioning to modern day. I can’t explain why I liked that so much, but it just really invested me in the story. Plot is moving along at a great pace, not too fast, not too slow. Just right. I like that we had a chance to get to know Morgan and Wahya as individuals before they collided – literally. They have a great connection already – I see that chemistry! – and overall their interactions so far are very sweet and really get me invested in their relationship and eventual romance. I noticed almost no grammar mishaps, so massive props to you for that! Your style was nice too. It clips along and is easy to read. A little telling, but nothing some edits can’t fix. Overall, I really, really enjoyed this story. Time travel is nothing new, but the way you use it is fabulous. It sort of reminded me of what would happen if Outlander had been the other way around, with Jamie coming to the future instead of Claire going to the past (I realize these references are kind of niche, but you catch my drift) but your story is still completely different and original and a great use of time travel. ALSO! I loved your use of Native language in this. That added such a great level of detail and immersion and you integrated it well! Overall, fantastic job!!

Great so far!

I really enjoyed reading what is posted so far! I love the characters, they all feel distinct and really jump off the page, so great job with that! Especially Trinity, she feels very well realized in the story. I enjoy your dialogue, it's easy to follow and clips along at a nice pace. The only reason I gave you a 4 for plot is because I do think things moved just a touch fast, especially in the moments before Asmire's betrayal. I think giving her a little more time to flesh out and really establish her relationship with her sister will make her betrayal even more impactful! It is already, but I think adding a bit more before that moment could give that moment a bit more punch. But that's just me, you do what you think is best as an author!
Overall, great job! :)

Fantastic!

I'm not usually a short story person, but this got me right from the start! Very well written, clear, distinct characters, and plenty of tension/horror, but not gratuitous or overdone. The addition of vampires in this story was a very cool, unique twist on the concept, and even though vampires are something we've seen before, this felt fresh and different. Overall, very well done! Great job! :)

Great!

I’m enjoying my time reading this! My favourite part is scarletts voice in the narrative. She feels so real, with just the right amount of attitude to be intriguing without being staged. Her background as well is very real too, with experiences that I think a lot of people can relate to, so great job on the character front, that’s hard to do! I haven’t noticed any grammar or spelling mistakes, and I like how the plot is moving (I also love the name Kermit as a car, that’s brilliant) and can’t wait to see what happens!! Great job! :)

Fantastic!

What a fantastic story. I had a really good tine reading through this. The plot gripped me with its mystery and refused to let go until I was done reading. I actually thought the plot strengthened the further it went along as the mystery really took form, which was great. The twists and turns were fantastic as well, the only thing I wish is that Adam was fleshed out a bit more to really add impact to his reveal. But Ryan being Mia’s father – that one got me! I know it was an early twist, but it was a great twist, nonetheless. You handle the mature subject matter very well too, so massive props to you for that; that’s hard to do. The writing style was great and readable, and there were a couple minor grammar/spelling errors, but I think with some editing you’ll be golden on this front. Overall, this was an emotion filled story that nearly had me tear up quite a few times, with lots of mystery, romance, and action. My blood boiled anytime the villain was on the page; being able to convey such strong emotions in your writing really shows how powerful your story is. I’m not a mom, but I feel for Ryan and Miranda especially dealing with the loss of Mia, and I’m so happy everything worked out for the two of them. Overall, phenomenal job with this!

Great!!

I think you have something really good going here! I like the premise of your story, and how you LEAD into the action in the first chapter, instead of just throwing us in headfirst, which is fantastic writing. It really held my attention, all the characters really jumped off the page for me too. I’m excited to see where things go here! I really like your writing style too-I found it very immersive and gripped me all the way through, so great job with that. I know you said this is a first draft, but just watch your grammar and spelling a bit, but nothing crazy threw me out of the story. Also, I just wanted to mention, I like that you had a disclaimer at the beginning, as it allowed me to get into the right headspace while reading. All in all fantastic job :)

Love it!

I absolutely adore this story. Right from the beginning, everything about it feels so real. Starting with a flashback was very effective, as it immediately gave us an idea of what Rebecca is like, but you pulled me in gradually, which allowed me to get my bearings and really invest in your characters, especially Rebecca. As someone who grew up with two older brothers, the family dynamic between the three siblings feels super real to me (I mean, I never had them break into the bathroom like that, but I still found that scene absolutely hilarious) and just their general back and forth felt really well realized and relatable to me. And getting to know Rebecca and the characters through school and their friends and dance was very effective. I don't know how else to describe this story other than real. It feels like something any reader could grasp onto and invest in, which is a feat of itself, so bravo! :)
One thing to mention, and this is simply because I'm not from the UK, but I would suggest providing some explanation for the GCSE's and the GCE's. But that's minor in the grand scheme of things. :)
Overall I thoroughly enjoyed reading through this. Really fantastic job :)

Very good!

I really enjoyed reading through this! A heartbreaking story that really pulled at my heart strings a number of times. I completely felt for what these characters were going through and just wanted to give them a hug! I thought the plot of this was good, it moved slow in parts, but I enjoyed the contemplative moments. It made the characters feel real, as well as their relationships to one another. I think Jamie was my favourite. And I liked that Jamie’s dad came around. I think it would have been a little cliché if no one from the family broke away and supported Joel and Jamie, so I’m glad you added that bit in. A bittersweet ending, but I’m really glad you decided to end it the way you did. Things don’t always pan out with families, and I love that your work brought that to light. And (spoiler for anyone who hasn’t read to the end) I’m so glad things worked out for Joel. He deserves the whole world. And Luca too. Love them both. Your writing style was nice and simple, and you could do a little embellishing here and there in my opinion, but the story flowed really nice. My biggest piece of advice is to watch your spelling and grammar. It’s little things, but they add up and they did pull me out of the story a few times. But with some editing you’ll be good!

Great!!

Hands down the best werewolf story I’ve read. I am not usually a fan of the genre as (especially recently) I find it riddled with cliches and overdone story beats. But oh, did this exceed my expectations. I adore this story. Kona is such an interesting, nuanced character that I really enjoyed reading about. Her personality, as well as the others (especially Alec) were clear and distinct, and I never got confused as to who was who. I was worried about the three main boys blending together, but they never did, so great job on that. also love the gender undertones in this. I was hoping you would touch on it after mentioning how male dominated wolves are, and you handled it very well. It didn’t ever feel overdone (which is a trap that some fall into). It reminded me of Game of Thrones in that way, and I love what you did with it. The twists made sense, and I am 100% rooting for Tally, what a gem. And the ending was great, perfectly setting up a sequel. Writing style was good, and a few more rounds of editing and grammar/spelling checks will absolutely bring this to the next level. Overall, this story gripped me from the beginning to the end, and I can’t wait to see what the sequel holds. Fantastic job! :)

Wow!!

Okay where do I even start with this - what a fantastic story so far!!! I adore the dystopian elements of this story, and you've done a great job of creating an interesting cohesive world that makes total sense. I know how hard that is to do, and you did it masterfully. Down to how rural and urban areas view hair length to the light and dark matter to the differences in the characters themselves. All of this makes your world feel so real, as though it could be a reality in the future.
Speaking of the characters - let's start with Vance. His arc so far has been very believable and realistic considering his upbringing and everything he's gone through in the story. None of his behaviours come out of left field and all feel accurate to his character. Also, I can tell you did your homework for the psychological implications of his character. Just from my own knowledge from studying psychology (by no means do I claim to be an expert, this is just my perspective) you did a good job portraying the psych elements he goes through, and the way the dark matter injections aggravate these aspects makes perfect sense in the world you've created.
All the others - especially Dyaan (who is my lowkey favourite) - feel distinct from one another. I never got confused as to who was who and they were all interesting to learn about. I can't wait to learn more about Dyaan and Brekla's past together! And then there's the Remnants, who we've only had a taste of so far but I am totally hooked and want to learn more about them!
I didn't notice any grammar mistakes, and I found the writing perfectly toed the line of being descriptive without weighing the story down. I love that you tell the story from multiple perspectives as well. At first I wasn't sure, but it totally helps to flesh out the world and gives insight to things that other characters can't - Vance can only tell us so much, after all - and you handle it very well.
Overall, I am thoroughly impressed with your writing and storytelling, and I plan on sticking around to see how things play out! Fantastic job!! :)

Love it!!!

This story sucked me in right from the beginning! You’ve done a fantastic job of world building and it shows, everything makes sense and works together great and you tell the reader the information at a great pace. Skye is a very intriguing character and I can’t wait to learn more about her, and I have a feeling there’s more to her than meets the eye. Grammar and writing style was great, I could easily tell when the flashbacks were and I didn’t notice any mistakes with anything structural. Fantastic job!! :)

Potential!!

I think you have something good going here!! I enjoyed reading through this, the world feels very well realized and your characters have distinct voices, so great job with that!! :)
This may be personal aesthetics on my part, but I would suggest you play around with your formatting. Experiment with starting a new paragraph every time someone new is talking - in my experience, it helps conversations flow a bit better and can help a reader differentiate descriptions and dialogue. I found it made a big difference in my writing once I integrated that. Also, this is going to sound super nitpicky, but make sure your quotation marks are facing the correct directions.
Overall, I am super excited to see where the story goes from here and I love your world and characters! Good job :)

Potential!

I think this story has a lot of potential! I like the concept and how you fit the various characters into your narrative and plot. You clearly have a strong idea and I can't wait to see where it goes from here! I found the characters believable and realistic, which is hard to do, so good job with that.
I think going back and really working on grammar and formatting will really take your book to the next level. The main thing I noticed was your tenses. But your structure was pretty good, starting a new paragraph each time someone is talking is the way to go and it helped your conversations flow well.
Overall the foundations are here for something really special! I love your characters and I'm excited to see where things go from here - great job! :)

Great so far!!

I love the plot of this story. Your characters really jump off the page and I love the complex relationships and interactions - it really helps the story come alive and feel real, so great job with that. I found Olivia to be a very compelling protagonist and she helped the story feel unique.
I noticed a few grammar mistakes, but for the most part, your writing style is good and easy to follow. Though, I think you could be a touch more descriptive just to immerse the reader in your story even more. For example, when Olivia is talking to her boss and her boss gives her a 'I'm proud of you' look - what about her face is suggesting she's proud of Olivia? I know you're using a form of shorthand to convey your point and it still works, but adding a bit more detail could immerse your reader in your story even more. Just as an example. But that's just me, I tend to go a bit overboard with descriptions sometimes, so take with that what you will. Overall I think you have something really good going on here and I really enjoyed reading through this. Great job :)

Loving it!!

I really enjoyed reading through what you have posted so far!! I love how complex your characters are under the surface, you feel for each person in the love triangle in a unique way, which is something you don’t usually see. The character dynamics feel natural and are very interesting and keep me invested. Overall I’m going to be sticking around to see how this turns out! I’m hooked! Great job :)

Love it so far!

The main thing that sticks out to me right away is the characters. They really jump off the page. Ariel is such a jerk but I kind of love him? I can't wait to see how his character develops from here. And Alma is so compassionate but it's clear that she's not a pushover - I can't wait to see how she develops too! The plot is built off a classic 'fallen angel' archetype, but I like what you do with it - you put your own unique spin on it, which is fantastic. I noticed a few grammar mistakes, nothing that pulled me out of the story, just something to note. Overall great job, can't wait to see where it goes from here! :)

Love it so far!

I absolutely adore this! Your writing style is top notch, giving so much detail about the world and it's characters without having any of your descriptions weigh the story down. The characters really jump off the page and I can so clearly imagine them in my mind, especially the brother and sister. What's Beckett's deal, anyways? I can't wait to find out. Astra is a compelling protagonist and is insanely relatable, so I'm definitely rooting for her.
Overall fantastic job! This story gripped me from the start and did not lose my attention throughout. I'm going to be sticking around to see what happens next! :)

Yes!!!

Ahhhhh I loved this!!! I wanted it to work out so badly between the two so badly! I feel like everyone who reads this will be able to relate in one way or another. I love your writing style, so lyrical and it flows really nicely. I liked the passage of time and how you started each section with an age, it really had a great impact on the story, since you can tell this girl has liked this person for years. Overall very well done!!!

Unique!

What a unique idea for a story!! This is something I’ve never seen before and you handle it very well. All the characters feel distinct and have their own voice, and Lindsey is an intriguing protagonist, I can’t wait to learn more about her!
I noticed a few grammar mistakes here and there, namely run on sentences. As someone who struggles with this, my advice is to read it out loud, and if you find yourself needing to take a breath, that’s a good indication you need a break somewhere in there. Also, play around with starting a new paragraph every time someone new is talking. In my experience it helps conversations flow easier, but do what works for you :)
Overall, I really enjoyed reading through this. The concept gripped me from the start and I can’t wait to see what happens next! Great job :)

Good!

I enjoyed this! I'm not usually one for werewolf stories, but this was a twist on the typical genre tropes that I really had fun reading through. All the characters felt well realized and distinct, and I never got confused as to who was who. I noticed a few grammar mistakes but nothing too crazy. The story moved along at a good pace as well - enough time was given to contemplative moments and the action moved at a good pace, and descriptions didn't weigh the story down at all. Overall great job! :)

Great!

I love the plot of this story! It's one I haven't seen before so I'm very intrigued to see where it goes from here! The characters are all distinct and interact well with each other, and the concept is original.
This isn't a critique as much as a suggestion, but play around with starting a new paragraph every time a different character starts talking. I do this and I find it helps the flow of conversations. Also, watch out for using the right form of a word - so 'head over heels' instead of 'head over heals.' But that was the only mistake like that I noticed.
Overall I enjoyed reading through this. You have real potential with this story and I'm excited to keep going! Great job :)

Loved it!!

I absolutely loved reading this! My favourite part was the writing style; so beautifully descriptive and eloquently put together. It made the story feel almost otherworldly and added to the mystery. As soon as the white/black swan parallels started I knew I would love this, and I did! The characters are distinct and intriguing and I can't wait to see where the story goes! Ahhh I loved this! Great job! :)

Good so far!

I'm really enjoying this so far! I love the concept for this story - it's one that I haven't seen before and I'm excited to see how it unfolds! All the characters really jump off the page and I have no trouble telling who is who. I like how your writing style flows too - very easy to follow. I noticed a few grammar mistakes, but nothing that pulled me out of the story or anything. Overall great job! :)

Great!

I had a fun time reading through this! All the characters really leapt off the page, I had no trouble telling who was who, which is hard to do so great job with that! Your writing style is fantastic too. I can very clearly picture everything happening without getting bogged down with details, and everything flows very smoothly. I also didn't see any grammar mistakes as far as I could tell. Overall great job and I can't wait to see where the story goes from here! :)

Liking it so far!

I really liked this!! The characters are super distinct and well realized, so good job with that, and the plot flows as a very fast pace, which, once I got used to it, was something I really enjoyed. I noticed a few grammar mistakes that pulled me out of the story just a bit, but it happens to the best of us, just something to note :) overall I really enjoyed this and I can’t wait to see where it goes! Great job! :)

Good so far!!

I like the premise of this, and there’s enough originality to keep me invested in the story, so good on you for that! I like the characters as well and I can’t wait to see how they and their relationships develop further. :)
One thought I had was if you’re going to have swear words in your story, don’t star them out. It may just be me, but it pulled me out of the story a bit. But that’s just me, you do what you’re comfortable with! :)
Overall great start and I can’t wait to see where it goes from here!! Good job! :)

Great!

I think you have something here!! The plot hooked me right away and kept me on my toes, Greg job at building suspense and keeping me guessing! All the characters are distinct as well, so good job with that. I noticed a few grammar mishaps, mostly with the tenses switching quite a bit. We both write in present tense, and sometimes I find putting myself in the characters shoes helps with getting in the mindset I need to write present tense. That’s not to say you don’t, that’s just what works for me, play around with different strategies and see what works :) overall great job!!

So good!

Holy I love this! Avery really jumps off the page: she’s a very well realized character and i found her super relatable, even though I’ve never had a parent die. I love your writing style and how you unravel the situation, the rest of the characters, and the plot. Overall I’m super impressed! Great job :)

Love it!!!

This is everything I imagine in a well told western. I’m not super well versed in the genre but I can tell you’re having a blast writing this. All the characters feel distinct from one another and everything is very well described and I can imagine everything about the story playing out in my head. The dialogue is strong and the writing style perfectly fits this kind of story; it feels like the 3rd person narrator is from the time period this takes place in, which I love and totally immersed me in the story even more. And I didn’t notice any grammar mistakes, so good job with that too! :)
Overall I’m obsessed! This is such a fun story in a great genre and I can’t wait to see what happens next! Great job! :)

Great!

I thoroughly enjoyed this short. Even though I’m nowhere near the place where Anna is in her life, I totally understood where she was coming from, and I think that’s due to your writing. I could completely understand why she was upset with Sean, and even though he was trying to be understanding, her wants in the situation completely flew over his head. I feel like that’s something that happens a lot in relationships, wherein Anna just wants him to do some of the chores without being nagged by him, so bravo to you for so expertly bringing out that aspect of a relationship. I don’t think it’s talked about enough.
Even though I’ve never been pregnant (and I’m not sure I have any intention of ever having kids) I love how you described the feeling. I love the line “a gentle reminder of the presence breathing inside”. It’s such a beautiful way of describing it and I instantly knew she was pregnant as soon as I read it, so fantastic job of wording that.
Overall I was thoroughly impressed with this short. A captivating, relatable read! Fantastic job :)

Interesting!

Before I say anything, I’d like to preface this by saying I’m not super well versed in the werewolf genre, so just keep that in mind 😅
I like how you’ve taken the idea of mates and given it a unique twist: like it’s something from a bygone era that isn’t worth pursuing anymore. I really liked that concept and I thought it played into your story very well. Dahlia is a very intriguing protagonist, and I can’t wait to find out more about who the wild ones are, they sound so threatening and I can’t wait to see how they interact with the main characters. Your writing style flows very nicely and kept me engaged, and I didn’t notice any grammar mistakes, so great job with that! Overall i plan on sticking around to see how this plays out and immensely enjoyed the first few chapters. Great job :)

Good!

Great plot and characters!! Holy the twists are keeping me on my toes! I need to know what happens next ahhhh. Jil is especially compelling and i cant wait to see what happens next with her character.
This may just be aesthetics on my part, but play around with starting a new paragraph every time someone new is talking. In my experience it helps the flow of conversations. Not that yours didnt, but the big blocks of text with dialogue between two characters mixed in was teeny bit confusing at times. Still very well written, just something to play around with if youd like-i leave it up to you :)
Let me end it on a positive note: you dont normally get the killers perspective in stories like this, so that was a very fun twist! Even if they were super diabolical lol. Great job keeping up the mystery and intrugue!! Ill keep reading! Great job! :)

A fun read!

This was a very fun story to read! I love the lead characters and the twist of her being his boss. I think that’s a fun concept to play with as it’s so often the other way around in erotica. Especially loved Benton, I felt for him and his situation and his personality was a nice change from having a super possessive and toxic male lead. The writing style flowed very nicely, and I didn’t notice any grammar mishaps. Overall fantastic job! :)

Great!

Werewolf stories generally aren’t my thing, but I loved yours right from the start! I think Sam is my favourite, but all the characters are distinct and unique, a challenging feat to pull off so nice job with that!! My one piece of advice with your grammar is to watch your tenses; you write in past tense, but a few times I noticed you switching into present tense. Just something to note for future edits. Your writing style flows very nicely and is descriptive without slowing the story down or anything. Overall I think you have something special here! Great job! :)

Good start!

I think you’ve got something going here! The plot is interesting and I’m excited to see where it goes. I’m especially intrigued by the MC. I have so many questions! What happened that drove her away? Ahhh so much mystery I love it!
I noticed a few things. This might seem suuuuper nitpicky, but as a Canadian who’s been to Vancouver too many times to count, winter isn’t too different from their other seasons, it’s pretty much cold and wet no matter what time of year you go. Maybe it’s a teeny bit more chilly in winter, but fall and winter especially are very similar there. Just something to note for future edits if you’re going to mention it in conversation. Also, flashbacks and thoughts are generally italicized, so you shouldnt need to explicitly state when a flashback is coming up. I usually put a little page breaker before them, but that’s just me, I leave that up to you :)
I know that was a bit nitpicky, but I wanted to end off on a positive note. I think you have a really good idea here and I think you have real talent! I’m excited to see where your story goes from here! The characters are distinct and vivid, I can very clearly picture them in my mind, and they each have their own quirks and personalities, which is a hard skill to master in writing, so fantastic job with that! I like your descriptions of the scenery as well. Just enough to imagine without it overpowering the scene. Overall great job, can’t wait to see where it goes! :)

Great so far!

Intriguing concept! While amnesia plots are fairly predictable this presents a nice new twist with the nightmare aspect. Annie is super relatable, I know I’ve spilled coffee on myself like that before, and her day to day relatability makes me root for her! I noticed a few grammar mishaps, but nothing major. Overall great work! :)

So much fun!

When I first read the synopsis I was intrigued and ready for a very serious story about rebellion and all those things. I was not prepared for how funny this was! It totally caught me off guard but I loved every second of it!! The writing style is fun and descriptive, and I didn’t notice any grammar mishaps. Well done! :)

Love it!

I have so much respect for your work. Poetry is hard to write and you’re amazing at it. My personal favourite from your collection is the things we do for love-such a strong message that I think anyone can find some sense of relatability in. Your style is great and flows well, and I didn’t see any grammar mishaps. Fantastic work! :)

Yes!

What a unique concept! It pulled me in before I even started reading. I love that the MC isn’t one of the ones affected by the awakening-it’s a cool twist on the trope that she’s unique as a protagonist, but it presents a fun irony because she’s ‘ordinary’, which is what makes her rare. I feel like I explained that badly but I guess what I’m saying is that her being ordinary in a supernatural world is very compelling. The writing style is good, maybe a touch wordy here and there, but nothing crazy. Overall great job! :)

Love this!

Love this so far! I’m obsessed with your characters, they feel so real and distinct, I can always tell who’s talking and they all have their own personalities and quirks, which I love. The writing style flows nicely, with plenty of detail to visualize without getting overloaded. This may just be aesthetics, but my one suggestion is to start a new paragraph whenever someone new is talking. I’ve played around with this in my own writing and I find that dialogue, especially between 2 people, flows and clips along better. But that’s just me, do what works for you and your writing :) overall I’m impressed! Great job!

Loving it!

Loving this so far! The prologue presents a great hook and the second chapter really pulls you in and introduces you to the world and who arella is and could be. I loved it! Nice flow with your writing as well, and the plot moves at a nice steady pace with lots of intrigue. Overall fantastic job! I can’t wait to see what happens next! :)

Great!

I’m really enjoying this so far! I love the writing style! Clear and descriptive while not overwhelming the reader with details, while still providing plenty of descriptions, so great job with that! I didn’t notice any grammar mistakes either. And the characters really jump off the page-right from the beginning I’m invested! Overall great job! :)

Love it!

Love this so far, such a fun story! The characters voices are distinct and unique, so props to you for doing that, especially in a story with POV switches. This may just be a preference on my part, but play around with starting a new paragraph each time a new person starts talking. In my experience, it helps the dialogue flow a bit better, especially in conversations between two characters. Nothing major, just something to play around with, I still thoroughly enjoyed the story regardless :) overall I’m hooked! Can’t wait to see what happens next! :)

WOW!!!

This first chapter is incredible!! The slow world building as Jean goes through his day is fantastic, and really gives you a sense of the world, but while still leaving plenty of mystery to make you want to keep reading. The descriptions are vivid and well written too, and it completely immersed me in the world while reading. Jean is a very compelling protagonist, and i can’t wait to find out more about who he is, how he ended up where he is, and what his future character holds in the story. Overall I am thoroughly impressed! Keep up the fantastic work! :)

Great!

Such a compelling idea for a novel! The MC is surrounded in a lot of mystery which I love, it makes me want to keep reading! The characters are distinct as well. My only suggestion is watching your grammar. I remember seeing that you said English wasn’t your first language, so perhaps something like grammarly might help? With all that said, the plot and characters are excellent and I can’t wait to see what will happen next. Great job! :)

Wow!

This beginning gave me chills! So suspenseful and mysterious, I have so many questions. This is such a compelling first chapter, it makes me wonder who everyone is, how they came to be in their position, especially the MC. Overall great work at building an interesting beginning! :)

Love it so far!

I’m loving this so far! Raes anxiety is super relatable and you really convey that in your writing. It totally makes me root for her! I love her internal monologue as well. Hilarious and keeps the story moving in a fun, engaging way. And the characters are all very distinct with their own voices and quirks as well, so they’re easy to differentiate in my head. A couple small grammar mishaps, but nothing major that pulled me out of the story. Overall great job and I can’t wait to see what happens next! :)

Amazing so far!!

So far I’m loving this! The concept had me before I started reading, and the first chapter did not disappoint! Such rich imagery without being overwhelming or disrupting the flow, so excellent job with that. The characters are intriguing, I can’t wait to learn more about them, especially the father son relationship. Overall fantastic job! :)

Wow!

I’m not usually one for werewolf stories but this presented a unique twist on the genre that I appreciated. The character descriptions are great and give me a clear idea of what they look like, and the writing style is easy to follow and flows well. I would suggest going back and checking your grammar in a few spots, but nothing major. Overall good job! :)

Fantastic!

This story is incredibly well written! The style is great, pulling you into the story with lots of details while still being easy to follow and with good flow. The characters are dynamic and distinct (Vicky is my favourite!) and the plot is well structured. Overall fantastic job! :)

Great!

I must say I don’t usually gravitate towards werewolf novels but this held my attention! Great immersive world building and very dynamic characters-I totally got caught up in it! A couple tiny grammar mistakes, but nothing crazy, happens to the best of us. The writing style is great as well, and pulled me right in! Great job! :)

Wow!!

Where do I even begin with this? This was an incredibly well written suspenseful, action packed mysterious story that kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time! They say to write what you know, and I can tell that you know London extremely well-you made me feel as though I was there!
On a more serious note, my only issue with this story was the ‘fall from grace’ chapter. I had to take a bit of a mental health break after that chapter because I found it very disturbing. Which, I understand why you included it, but the content, particularly the implied assault of Chloe rubbed me the wrong way for reasons I won’t get into here. With all this said, I’d suggest putting a disclaimer or trigger warning before that chapter just so people know what’s coming, but that’s just me. And honestly that’s the only problem I had with the story.
With that note aside, I really enjoyed the story!
I’m glad fence is okay, I had a feeling he wasn’t really gone :)
Also, I love the supernatural touches you’ve added. They don’t feel silly or out of place, but gritty and realistic, and the action scenes were incredibly well written-I could imagine the action so clearly in my head, so fantastic job with that.
Overall an incredibly enticing, well written story that I will definitely be recommending to others! Fantastic job! :)

Love it so far!

Even after only 3 chapters I’m hooked on this story! I can’t wait to find out more about the world these characters inhabit. The action is well described with nice flow and tension, keeping me on my toes and eager as to what will happen next. I can’t wait to see the mains interact more as well, I’m interested to see what sylvias backstory is especially! Overall a very well written story so far. Keep it up! :)

Wow!

This book has me on the edge of my seat at every turn! The characters are interesting and their interactions keep me engaged in the story. The writing style is fantastic as well, with ample detail for me to imagine the world without it being overwhelming or slowing the story down. I noticed a couple small grammar mistakes, but it didn’t pull me out of the story at all, nothing major, just something to note. Overall great job! :)

Love it!

An interesting take on the witch concept! I love Trixie, I found her very interesting and I think she’s someone a lot of readers will be able to relate to on her journey. The writing style is fantastic, very easy to follow while still giving me lots of detail to imagine the world. Great job! :)

YES!!

I love this!! Perfect descriptive imagery of the more horror-esque aspects without being gross or off putting, and the writing style is engaging and sucks me right into the story! The characters are great as well, the healer is a great character to tell this story to the audience because he is experiencing this new town just like us-It makes me feel like we’re on this journey and figuring out the mystery of this illness with him. Overall a very well written story with the perfect amount of horror for my tastes, engaging characters, and great nuanced conflict in the background (the two religious doctrines I mentioned in the comments, for example) Well done! :)

Enjoyable!!

Love the plot and descriptions of this story! Each character and place is described very well and allows me to create a vivid picture in my head of what each person looks like, especially for the mains. Quick note on grammar, watch your run on sentences. It didn’t pull me out of the story in the slightest, but just something minor to note-I know it’s something I struggle with as well. Overall a very engaging story with an interesting, vivid world and great characters. I can’t wait to see where it goes! Fantastic job! :)

Heartbreaking but beautiful

I almost teared up at the ending of this. I could feel her heartbreak, all the details and the vivid world completely immersed me in the story. I can’t think of enough good things to say about this. The world-building was incredibly strong, so much detail was packed in but it never felt overwhelming. Overall I’m thoroughly impressed. Fantastic job! :)

Great!

I appreciate that this story has a compelling plot outside of the erotica aspects (which not all erotica stories do) so this was a nice change of pace! I like the characters and I can’t wait to see where it goes from here! Great job! :)

Amazing!

I love everything about this story. I love the relationships between the characters (Joe and Persephone are absolutely adorable). More than that though is the writing. This is an incredibly well written story chock full of details and quirks that give you a very clear picture of what’s happening without having these details be overwhelming. Overall a fantastic story with great characters and writing. Keep it up! :)

Good start!

Very interesting concept! Reminded me a little bit of buffy at first in terms of how her family defines her and how she works through those feelings, but this was still unique in its own right. Bolding the dialogue was an interesting choice and put me off a little at first, but once I got used to it I liked it. And it straddles the line of being dark without going too far, which is hard to do but is done so successfully, at least to my tastes. Overall very good start and I can’t wait to see where it goes! :)

Iconic!

This story gives me strong handmaids tale/1984 vibes while still being incredibly original and compelling. The writing and concept pulled me in from the very start, and I can very clearly imagine this world and the characters that inhabit it. The idea of "perfects" and the other categories feel like they could be as iconic as the term "handmaid" or "martha" in handmaids tale - it's a really compelling way to segregate the society in this story that gives the reader a clear idea of how society works in this story. Honestly I can't find enough good things to say about this. I think that this story could one day be in the same conversation as other famous dystopias of this nature like handmaids tale and 1984. I am so hooked on this story, it's so well written and I can't wait to see what happens next. Fantastic job! :)

Cuteness overload

I love everything about this story! I couldn't put it down. The writing style seems to perfectly straddle the line of being easy to follow without being too simplistic, which really works for this kind of story. Even if the concept is a little predictable, it's so cute that I didn't mind, and the author added enough originality to it to make the story interesting and adorable. Loved it!

Great characters!

I love Cynthia! She is very relatable and a great protagonist for your story, I love how sassy she is! As well I love that she's a scientist, I feel like girls in science (and especially those that go to MIT!) in romance books is uncommon, so it's awesome to see and it keeps your story unique and fresh. My only critique would be to keep an eye on your grammar, but otherwise I really enjoyed it! Keep it up!