Could do with some proof reading
The concept and plot for the story is really good, and I would have loved to read more than just the 1st chapter, but first it need to be cleaned up a bit, especially where sentence construction is involved.
Read the story now
Instead of writing long in one paragraphs, try splitting it up between dialogues or the next big(ger) occurrence, such as where you wrote in ch.1 paragraph 2 near the end of the second sentence where you wrote "... the energy bullets bounced off, girl, "If you're going to kill them you have to go through me!", before he could..."
Try writing it rather as such:
"...the energy bullets bounced off of him. Then girl then spoke: "If you're going to kill them you have to go through me!"
Before he could..."
That is just one way of a few that could improve the flow of the story, improving it to a more natural way of not only reading but expressing conversation.
As a poet I would say 'more' is better and 'less' can be extraordinary!
To brake it down, add more detail about the surroundings, about the girls' appearances. Is the area an abandoned city, a burning flower field, a devastated town? Is the girls petite, fragile, starving in appearance or war worn?
Also try splitting the multiple points of interest into more chapters, and then rebuild on them.
For example you wrote about how Michael knew to find the girls, the suddenly he finds more 'Machine' companions to travel with, the a glimpse into his past and the all of a sudden the Machines and girls are found to be couples.
You can make four chapters out of just the one I read.
I believe to write is to brake down just as much as one tries to build, and then to reconstruct around that.
It is as a sculptor who chisels out a perfect image out of stone or wood, a poet who constructs a piece of literature out of one moment in time, to impose some sort of wisdom on the reader or spark a passionate emotion within them. It is the same with story weaver and their dreams. The potential is there, you just need to find it and bring it to the surface, where the light can shine on it and everyone will be able to notice it!