A Story You'll Want to Read
I just finished this novel, so thank you very much for your patience! I had a lot of thoughts and feelings while reading, but I'll be brief and just highlight the most important ones. First of all, I think the main character, William, is very compelling. He is exactly the type of protagonist I enjoy reading about in an action novel, and I definitely think this is a huge strength of this novel in particular. You allow us insight into his personality and mind, and I really enjoyed that aspect. Secondly, I felt like the plot had a pleasant, natural flow to it. I didn't feel jarred into or out of events, meaning I liked the context you provided along with the clear series of events. Lastly, I have only one criticism and that revolves around the style of writing and the grammar. I want to say right away that your voice is very distinct in this novel, and that is not a bad thing. In fact, I appreciated it in this case. That being said, the actual style of writing and grammar could use a little work. The sentence structure can be a little clunky or choppy sometimes, and every once in a while there is a missed comma. I might suggest including some sentence variation and running through your work for one last grammar check. This critique did not, however, interfere with comprehension. That is my only criticism and I would hate for it to be discouraging because I think you have an amazing story here. I wish you the best of luck with publishing!
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