What Was The Point?
The first part of the story was predictable, as it was obvious who the killer was the moment a dead body turned up in chapter 2. Some could say by the end of chapter 1, as it was unnecessarly stated that bad things would happen and that Clara should have stopped Bessie. By the title alone, the audience could guess that something bad will happen, and even what will happen to Bessie. We didn't need that last sentence.
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I like the descriptions of the world and story, but Clara doesn't get much of that. Sometimes I would imagine her as a kid, not a 16-year-old. Why would Clara know about pickpocketing if she stated to have never left the Orphanage? Where would she practice?
She also does some stupid things, as well. In chapter 7, She could have just ran out of the house when the murderer chased her, but instead ran to the living room. Her character was not unlikeable, but bland, and I didn't mind if the story ended with her death. It actually would have made more sense, considering how much blood she lost by the time she was found. Most of the choices she made either didn't matter to the overall story or hurt her.
Sometimes, the first paragraph of the next chapter would give the same information as the last paragraph of the previous chapter, making it repetitive. The story flows for the most part, so it's not too annoying.
In chapter 6, it was unclear whether the man was outside or inside the house. One sentence said that he was outside, then the next one said he was inside. For the rest of the story, it's hard to tell where everyone is.
I start noticing by chapter 7 that the dialogue isn't separated as it should be.
The ending was unsatisfying. Everything was wrapped up too quickly! The little bit of horror that was presented dropped to nothing. The essence of actual Horror, from my experience, is leaving the audience with a sense of fear long after the story ends. This didn't leave me with anything. Maybe if she had nightmares or suffered other symptoms of PTSD after she was rescued, that would make more sense and give more terror to the story!
My recommendation for this story is an overview of its logic and a reorganization of structure. Why would they let the man adopt another girl? How was he not found guilty the first AND second time? What was the point of those files, when they didn't serve the story in any way (he only murdered 1 girl)? Why did the characters make the choices they made?