That this story is based on real events is important, and based on that, I loved it.
Read the story now
The story is one that would make a really good full-length novel, fictionalised, it would be able to get the message behind this story of this young woman's struggle to get to where she wants to go.
It would be easy to criticise the grammar, punctuation, and structure. But I assume that English is not this Author's first language, so, on the assumption that if I were to write in another language, then my grammar, and sentence construction would be awful. And besides, I never criticise the technical aspect of writing, as I am so bad at it myself.
Overall, I enjoyed this read, and I think, with maybe the help of someone with more experience, together they could turn this into a great book.