I can't believe what I'm reading.
I make a point of reading BDSM fics as I come across them given there’s so few that are written well and…look, I’m trying to find nice things to say about this story, but it needs so much work that there is…nothing. This story reads like a teenager’s attempt at being edgy and deviant. There is no plot, no characterization, no world building, and even the sex is poorly designed. You can’t really call it “erotica”, more like PWP because there’s no substance.
Read the story now
The most important thing is…this is NOT BDSM. To be frank, I have a hard time believing you’ve done more than a couple minutes of googling the term. Did you even notice that, the second Kate decided the situation was not what she wanted you were effectively writing rape? Consent was withdrawn. It doesn’t matter if it “felt good”. She didn’t want it but was afraid to say no and so went along with it. This is rape. Jason, on the other hand, never seemed to have his consent considered at all. This is also rape. Don’t try to romanticize it to make yourself feel better. As a writer, you have an obligation to know what it is you’re writing and how it will both be accepted and interpreted by the readers. And you are not fulfilling that obligation to represent what you’re writing about in a healthy manner. BDSM—real BDSM—is built on a foundation of trust with consent being a very explicit thing given along each step of the way. With that safe words are established, limits are marked and respected. You have ignored and defiled all of these things for…what? Writing a narcissistic nymphomaniac’s ideal day dreams? I am, to put it mildly, appalled. For what little content this story has, it says markedly more about you than your characters.
I will not be reading further. I will not be voting for you in competitions. Please stop and put some thought into your writing. Because this? This is just shameful.