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A Very Good Read
This was very well written, and I enjoyed it very much. It's refreshing to read fics that keep all the
characters so close to canon. I liked Snape's aloof closed-off demeanor that keeps both sides wondering about his loyalty. Many writers either make Snape too sappy or too aggressive, but you've managed to keep him balanced. I particularly liked Narcissa's begrudging gratitude, and how she silently clings to her sense of superiority while all the time believing that Snape is unaware of it.
This line actually made me chuckle--"[...] if the couch had conscious thought, it would sooner stab them with its own rusty springs than let them sit." :D
Really good setting description in this story; I settled down for a good dark story with just the first paragraph. This is very well written, and I enjoyed it from the first paragraph to the last.
Your writing style is immersive; I almost felt like I was part of story. Your descriptive ability made it very easy to visualize the house and get drawn into the action.
As the review title says, it’s a great story. (:
This was an enjoyable read, short but entertaining. There were a few minor typos here and there--no big deal, but worth mentioning. Overall the writing was good and the style was simple and pleasant making it a fast-paced read. Nice creepy little tale that I'll remember the next time I'm in the shower. (:Read the story now
Terryifying Yet Beautiful
This was frightening and beautiful in equal measure. The narrative was dark and mysterious with an ever-present sadness. The pacing was good; not too slow, not too fast. The ending gave me such a great sense of release. It's just a really good little story. (:
I'll explain why I gave 4 stars for punctuation and grammar. I normally ignore typos--we all make them, but you did the same thing consistently so I think it might be a habit. You have a tendency to use phrases as sentences. For example, "Not even she knew anymore what they would find. In there."
"In there" is a phrase that shouldn't be by itself. Placing a dash between "find" and "In" would give you the emotional impact you were trying to achieve with the period without leaving a phrase hanging by itself. (:
It's a small issue that's easily corrected. Overall, your writing is very good and easy to understand.
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