Black Tie Society
The concept of this story is quite unique, and does bring to light a section of society not usually touched on in literature, and most of the time it is done so in a negative light. You show an open mindedness to this subjected, and I applaud you. Also, you're doing from a male perspective that is also not usally talked about as much as females. This is a good story so far.
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Though, there are quite a few grammatical issues. Your story keeps flipping from past and present is very confusing. For new writers, writing in the present tense can be a little easier, but it's up to you what you're more comfortable with. Also, there are a lot of missing commas and run on sentences. When talking to someone, there needs to be a comma before their name, and if it is in the middle of the sentence, after their name as well. Also, ellipses, the three dots, those need to be uses sparsely, but also there needs to be a space inbetween the ellipse and the next word. Also, you need to show more than tell. If someone is getting a call, show the reader through 'a ringtone blaring' or 'vibrating in their pocket.' It'll help perk a reader's interest but also build a picture in their head along with adding more detail about the environment/setting. You need to build the world for the readers. With dialogue, their needs to be a comma at the end of the last sentence in the dialogue, unless it ends with a question mark or exclamation point, followed by a dialogue tag. The first letter of the first word in the dialogue tag, unless it is a person's name, should be lowercase. If the dialogue does not end in a dialogue tag, then it should end with a normal period and the next word should be capitalized. Also, you need to establish who's speaking when concerning dialogue so it does not get confusing. There was that one section in the beginning of the first chapter and it got confusing who was speaking. When it comes to dialogue, explaining different things like tone of voice and even body language can help develop your characters and tell things about your characters without explicitly stating it. There were some unrealistic things in your story like 'selling 200 homes in 2 years' and also 'floor 36' in the hotel. Most hotels don't have more than between 5 to 15 floors. Also, selling homes is a long process and isn't always easy.
I'm sorry for the long review, but i do hope it helps any. I wasn't trying to be rude, just trying to help. Your story is unique and good with a lot of promise. Your skills as a writer can only go up from here. You're doing a good job. I do hope this helps any. Keep writing!