It's Great! (Just A Few Thoughts)
Read the story now
I've recently read your story The Tale Of The King, and I must say, I am hooked!
I love how you grab your readers' attention by plunging them into the narrative prologue, and by giving them some insight on William's personal life, but I have some thoughts on it. (They're not all bad, please don't be scared by hearing 'some thoughts')
The Prologue --- As a young reader, I refrained from reading prologues, as I believed that they gave away certain key parts of the story, and possible partly because I was a bit anxious to start reading right away, but your story's prologue is different, I love how you wrote it, like it was someone telling a story to someone else (the 5 year old), and you only caught his part of it, but I have some thoughts on it. When you spoke of 'King William,' I paired the William character with a character that I was certain would play a role in the book, and considering how the other characters would eventually die, I puzzled over this bit of information you give readers. For instance, if I was reading a book and before starting it, I was given conformation that a said character would be alive in the ending, when said character gets thrust into a dangerous situation, I would assure myself they would survive, due to the information regarding their appearance later on. I always love to read books that don't give me that sort of conformation and sense of security, or books that do give me that sense but instead it's false, and they kill off a character. However, I do believe that you may turn that bit around in the later chapters.
The Chapters --- I love your writing style, to put it blandly. I think that the way you write is amazing; your descriptive nature, the way you explain things. However, I read some of the reviews and I have to agree, your pace does seem to be quite fast. I do the same thing too; I would have a great, huge idea, and I would be so excited to write it down that I would bunch it all up into one huge part, and then the rest is just empty words. But I hope that you manage to find a way to balance that out, because I will continue to read your story for sure!
The Ever Present Narrator