TheVorgothianWriter

a Good Read :)

First of all, I must clarify - I don't like romance books. AT ALL. So as this being my first romance to actually sit and read, it was a good one.

The reason for me scoring it a 3 on overall is simply because i felt it could be even better that it currently is.

Some chapters have technical problems (Grammar, layout and punctuation wise) others are seamless and quite intriguing. As for the vocabulary and use of language, I loved it. But I do have to say, a CEO will have a higher, more sophisticated vocab than that of a lower ranking employee in the business world. The possibility of actually using business jargon in everyday life is large and I think should be incorporated to make the character feel a bit more real.

Furthermore, I feel that the writer should probably bring in more of this Nick person into the story. Who is he, really. A fun way to discover who your character is how he would peel a orange. He is quite underwhelming to me, like he is just another business man with an empire that meets a girl (and that's stirring dangerously close on the plot lines of most of the romance novels out there. Such as Fifty Shades of Grey (or that's what happened in the movie) )

This book can be really great but it needs something to set it apart from the "usual" in romance. Speaking from my experience as both an editor and a literature graduate, of course. Also, the chapter names really got to me. "First meet" is both grammatically incorrect and just a horrible way of naming a chapter. I'd suggest naming them "The first meeting" or "First Connection" - to emphasise the characters feelings and stuff - just a suggestion though.

Anyway - taking all of this out of account I enjoyed it and I do think it has amazing potential to surpass other romance novels. Keep at it and keep reaching for those stars, you've got a good thing going for you!

Looking forward to more of your works :)

XXX

TVW

Makes me think of one of my favourite novels.

*THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN* - that's the novel it makes me think of. (so far)

It really has some amazing potential to be a extremely good mystery story, and I love mystery stories.
As for the plot, it is refreshing to see a spin on the usual that revolves around mystery, but also I would say the writer could use a little more suggestion in the work. My writing professor once told me to craft a great mystery is to confirm nothing. and I mean nothing. Leaving the confirmation to the reader is the best if you want to mess them up with the actual confirmation of everything.

I love the writing style, and the story as whole. Just make sure on your punctuation :)

Keep it up :) You have the potential to be the next Paula Hawkins!

xxx
TVW

Interesting

I liked the different point of views, however at every chapter the commertary explaining that the next POV would solely be from one characters point of view kind of threw me off a bit. Good writing is showing not telling. (Just keep that in mind - I know its an ongoing story)

Otherwise I like the story, its interesting and keeps your attention. I would really like to see the writer continue with the multiple POV's since it isnt something that is used a lot in the writing industy (to my knowledge of course)

Anyway, keep up the great work girl! You have a winner here.