Remini UDA

Never finding the time.

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A Different Style

I would like to firstly admit I do not like the romance genre, it's not something I tend to read and as such I did not complete the whole story and only made it to chapter 15. Whether that affects this review is for you to consider.
The Unknown Variant is a very well written book, as a reader I was honestly drawn into the world that was created. The character's felt real and the relationships were believable. The best example would be Layla and her family's interactions which were a joy to read. (especially cute lil daisy!)
The author is very gifted at her descriptions of the world and creating an intriguing story, most importantly she is very good at evoking emotion from the reader, something quite important in a romance. I will even add the bonus points of not having any grammatical mistakes (none that obviously stood out to me anyways).
My gripes with the story comes from the actual romance however this maybe me picking a fight with the genre than the actual story. I feel the amount of time between meeting the love interest and hearing the words "I love you" is generally far to quick in most romances including this one. Fortunately the often creepy advances of the love interest which are always ignored because they are "hot" were not in this story. I was happy to see Layla question the motives of Adonis and call him out on some of his behaviors.

If you enjoy good writing and adult romance this should be right up your alley and I can think of no reason not to suggest you give it a read.

P.S. This story aims to tackle some real issues, ranging from discrimination to drug abuse which may turn some away, if you are looking for a lighthearted romance, this is not it. P.P.S Author you may want to tag Rape somewhere. Reading rape can affect some people negatively.

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Tonights the Night..

So, as there is only one chapter, I'll keep my rating to a default of 3 stars. I'll come back and update it as more chapters are added!

I liked the story. I do however, wish you never brought up the show Dexter in your post because I couldn't help but see the similarities once I started reading. But I liked Dexter so I guess that really shouldn't be a complaint, it just means the story should carve out its own uniqueness in future chapters. But I digress. I really enjoyed your writing style, the way you were talking to me. It was as if I had stuck a megaphone on the MC's head and heard her inner monologue. I especially liked the first person style (particularly because it's something I suck at).

Grammar wise, I didn't notice many problems (but I'm not a grammar expert so my word ain't much.) Overall, it's an excellent start but with so little available there isn't much I can say.. Anyways I'll be coming back to see more, I am eager to see how the story will play out.

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It has potential!

Okay I'll preface this review with, I'm not a huge fan of romances but I'll try not to let my bias affect what I'm about to say.

An Accidental Evil was an interesting read on the cusp of being something really great. After a slightly confusing first chapter I settled into the story (I got lost on which character was who, and what their connections were with the other characters). In terms of writing, a few times there were paragraphs that had a lot of "I did...I turned...I something" which began to feel a bit repetitive but other than that there wasn't a lot to complain about in that regard. However on the flip side of that, there wasn't a lot to compliment greatly, for a romance it lacked the descriptions that could get the reader to understand the protagonists emotions sincerely.

My main gripe with the story (which meant I stopped after 11 chapters or so) was the romance. Without giving away too much, I felt the romance was forced and far too quick to be considered natural. In less than 48 hours, the characters had met, stalked, rejected, got back together, separated from a fight/being found out and became a couple. They behaved as if they had been together for months or years and that took away from the experience for me. Mariko made a point of wanting someone who could feel love but yet their relationship is completely sex driven. It's always important to consider the time from the first meeting to the first I LOVE YOU, those are big words and should be said in a reasonable amount of time.

All in all, the story has it's flaws BUT at it's core I think there is something quite interesting here. For now it's execution could be improved and perhaps for someone who enjoys romance the flaws were not as big a deal for them.
*So take my grumbling with a grain of salt!
I don't know how to end this other than to say - It has potential!

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GoldWood!

Ironwood was a joy to read from start to finish. The author does a lot well in creating a very detailed world with realistic characters. Characters also had their own time to shine with different chapters putting more focus on their actions to allow the reader to learn more about them. I found character's like Athena to be very well fleshed out and actually my favorite in the story. I loved her interactions with Jacob (who along with Francis were my second favorite) and it was entertaining to see the ways in which they handled each others emotions. The plot was also very easy to follow while being intriguing enough that you didn't really want to stop reading.

Now to talk about things that were not perfect and that is not to call them bad. There were a few grammar errors but not large enough that it made understanding what was being said impossible. The only other problem I had (and this might be a personal thing) was that there were a few sections of description that seemed to drone on. I found myself reading half a paragraph and then skipping it entirely because the detail of the world being built was far to much!(But once again this might be preference). Generally this was a minor gripe and I never skipped more than a few lines with only one exception being when we were being told the history of St.Thomas in which I completely ignored the story(I'll put the reason in the comments along with another gripe which is spoilery.)

All in all I did enjoy the story and I would definitely read a second book. Ironwood has my seal of recommendation!

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First Impression

As there is only one chapter, I feel I can't give a well fleshed out review and this will be my first impressions. It's an early draft so punctuation errors are expected so I won't dwell on it. I suggest giving it a re-read whenever you can to make sure the sentences flow well.

I'd say the story so far has a lot of telling rather than showing. I realised at the end I wasn't sure of the location of the character, how they looked or their name. For me it became hard to visualize the scenes.

It's definitely too early to say anything about the plot but I'm hopeful for the story. For now just try to add a bit more descriptions (and not just physical descriptions, perhaps talk about how loud the music was in the club or what the birthday outfit looked like.)

Other than that It's a good early draft and I'm interested in how the story will shape up :)
*I'll come back and change my ratings once there is more things added so ignore the current ratings.
*Also you might want to unbold the entire chapter!

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A fun distraction

I will not pretend to be an expert in writing and as such i will only give my personal opinion rather than well informed critique.
I enjoyed the story a lot, in a very short amount of time you were able to create a vivid world with interesting characters. I would honestly have enjoyed a full book on Pierre just living in this world.
The second chapter was definitely unexpected so i must applaud your mind and brought a different but welcome point of view.
All in all it was a quick interesting story that definitely held my attention and for that i can happily recommend this to anyone with 15 minutes to spare who is looking for a fun distraction.

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