Creepy yet Sad
Short, sweet and creepy. The kaydance really stood out in this piece that completed the poetry-esque effect promised near the beginning. One feels sorry for Marietta but at the same time, sorry for the children that come in contact with her. I like that it's in her perspective as it illuminates a different side to these kinds of situations.
Definitely recommended for anyone interested in a short read.
And the Award Goes to the Female Villian
Although Jimmy was the protagonist in this delightful story, his characterization was largely shaped by the women he encountered. He was unlikable in the beginning but I warmed up to him very quickly in consideration of the kind of person the antagonist turned out to be. I kept cheering him on. He was very flawed but had great developments in a concise way.
The dialogue was amusing, especially the interaction between Gabby & Jimmy, and that was the turnaround point for me. As satisfying as it was to see Jimmy crumble, at that point you want him to succeed. Accurately categorized as well because the story definitely had the right amount of humour and irony.
One has to love the epic battle between science and the supernatural. The protagonist struggles with accepting a potential side of reality that rejects his beliefs. It was great to read accurate facts regarding psychological disorders, showing a good amount of research went into writing this.
I love that the subplot merged nicely with the main plot as it added a subtle emotional touch. It also emphasized the theme of loneliness. Unfortunately, the conclusion came across as weak in comparison to the overall story. Perhaps if another paragraph was added to expand on the message, it could've been stronger. This is why I rate the overall story as 3 but don't let that stop you from reading as the majority is well written and enticing.
A Good Start
Nothing like a hanging to gather a community on a cold day in March. I enjoyed the slightly sarcastic tone in the prologue which then took a more serious tone. Whether or not it was intentional, it was appreciated.
The woman in question seems interesting and I like the possibly supernatural turn this story may take later on. I feel that the story of Ching Shih might be intertwined in here? Just a thought though. I do like that she has darker skin, which sets her apart from the majority of protagonists but I'm not sure if it's merely a tan or if she actually is a PoC.
The prologue is a good start to a promising story.
Time Well Spent
I love this story, especially with it being a standalone. The plot was intriguing, character development was done nicely and there was enough mystery retained. A lot of stories try to further explain some events which ruin the plot because the lustre vanishes. I'm glad mm2537 did they did.
I really liked the protagonist and the antagonist. I wasn't initially impressed with the stereotypes and stereotypical situation with the best friends but the writing style kept me going. Don't lose hope in the story because all is deliberate and most is explained.
One thing I didn't appreciate is that the ending is cut off. That might have to do with the coding because the box for a review pops up just before the story finishes. Perhaps the web developer can look at that - I'm using Chrome on Windows to read.
A Pleasant Read for Fantasy Fans
JellyBritt13's story makes for a good read for those who miss the traditional fantasy stories that they grew up with. Although the notion of transporting a character from one world to another is a bit overplayed, what makes it enjoyable are the characters. I do like the main trio - heroine, hero and best friend of hero - as their dynamics is cute ad I do love the clueless characteristic that emerges from E'arwin when it comes to Katherine. She's direct and he's just used to being treated like the highborn he is.
The first chapter wasn't as strong as the second as it reminds me heavily of Lord of the Rings. The second chapter had more world building in it so it came across as a more unique piece. This story has a lot of potential and I would suggest to find a beta reader to reduce the grammatical errors. The writing style is one that needs perfect grammar since a long of commas are necessary.
I do look forward to the next chapter - I'm intrigued to how Katherine will overcome the shock of not being in her world anymore.
A Solid Start
I'm sorry I didn't get this up earlier!
Overall, I feel the plot has a nice start and the characters are nicely rounded for the first chapter. I'm fond of Star because she does come across as rather adorable and fiercely loyal to Greff. They're a nice contrast to one another. The dialogue flowed nicely and I'm not sure it's because some phrases were predictable or if we as readers become comfortable with Greff & Star quickly.
There were a number of grammatical errors and thankfully, it didn't hinder the pacing. I'd still go over it with a fine eye though. I wanted to know more about this new world but there wasn't enough information available, even for a first chapter. Maybe more facts should be added for an increased sense of mystery.