A_Ayre

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Just tidy up the edges.

Great writing style, and a well contained short-story. It's a great read, and I recommend for the gradual world-building and genuinely interesting plot. Unfortunately a few grammar slips jar the reading experience, and I recommend to the author really going over this slowly. Also, what peanut butter are you eating? Peanut butter is clumpy and sticky, and a jarring simile is an bumpy start to what is otherwise a smooth ride.

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Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.