Aiden Mayer

“That’s ‘Ronin-sensei’ to you, pal!”

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Quite good!

This was a pretty good read. Your writing style is quite simple, yet very descriptive in such details that I can very much envision everything that's going on. I thought the couple years going by in the next few chapters was an interesting way of progressing the story enough for this new gang the 'Angels' to raise up in numbers and influence and I really wasn't expecting the ending of this first part. The characters are written well in a way that doesn't seem like the lack depth and growth, which some beginner writers have trouble writing characters in a way that engage in are emotions. I saw at least on spelling mistake, but it was very minor and doesn't distract from the story.

Overall this was a good start to the series and I'm interested on knowing what happens next and so I go on reading the next part. Good job so far.

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Excellent, for a short story!

I must say, this is very well written, even if it's a short story. During the short time I got to know Alden and Theo, I felt as if I known them longer. You have a great way of being descriptive in such details I can very much picture it all. The story was really well pace, the dialogues fit well and didn't drag on. Saw about two minior mistakes, but it didn't distract from the story.

Overall, this was a very good short story. Congrats if this was your first. You done a very good job on telling the story you wanted to tell. If you got more stories you want to share, don't be shy to ask me for my opinion, as I will definitely check it out.

Keep up the good writing! 👍🏼

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Fire On Fire

You done quite a good job writing this story. I'm not the kind of person to criticize on someone else's writing, as we have different writings styles and we all make mistakes.

I can see how much amount of effort you put to tell this story. The plot was easy to follow through and you have quite a good amount of depth with the characters. I quite enjoyed Ava's snarky attitude throughout it all.

Overall I can see the passion you put into this story and I congratulate you. I really hope you go on continuing writing stories. You really did a good job telling it.

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Pretty good so far.

The opening chapter open up pretty well. I like stories that show action quite early on as I feel I get immersed up in the story before I find out what the story is even about.

It's easy to follow and understand what's going on and you describe things quite well.

I noticed a few minor misspelled words here and there, but it doesn't disrupt from the story.

I'm aware it's not finished, so I don't know were the story is going in terms of a full plot, though what I read so far, this had potential in being a pretty good story. Good job so far and I hope things work out for the author in making this into a full book.

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Wow! 👏🏻



By far, one of the best books I've read of this genre. I've liked practically everything about this book from it's characters to the way in which the story itself had been constructed. The writing style, was the strongest part of the story, in my opinion. It provides a hook that baits the reader before catching them and never letting them go. The characters are all unique and extremely well-written, each one having an extra layer to them that makes them three-dimensional and more lively overall. Their humanity makes it easy to go along with the story and understand where each character's loyalty lies, what their personality is, and what their reasons are for doing the thing they do. It's plot is also one that I find quite engaging. I've read many books that attempt to accomplish the same goals this story has with their plot, taking place in a different genre's with a bit of romance and action. Most of those stories wind up being cliché in what might possibly be the worst way ever. However, here, the reader gets to see/read the character growth. It also places a twist on the genre, making it memorable and easy to recall.

This is one story that I will surely remember and I hope you continue writing and expressing your talents as an author to the world because you are an author that can write a story that can be thoroughly enjoyed by many people alike. 👍🏻

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Such an amazing world!

This is such an intricately weaved fantasy tale with plethora of lore and world building. The details and rules of the world make sense (something that isn't easy to do when you're creating an original world - as I seen from other novels) and make for an incredibly enticing story and world. The characters are well defined and there was ample detail to give me a clear picture of what was happening without having these details be overwhelming.

Overall, you done such an amazing job on the world you built. There's so much going on that keeps you intrigued and engaged and I would really recommend this for anyone who's into such heavy complex fantasy such as this.

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Very good!

This was a enjoyable story so far. Your writing style is very engaging and descriptive enough that I can very much envision anything that's going on. Your characters are well written in a way that each character seem to have their own quirks and flaws and doesn't make them too lacking in depth and growth that some beginner writers have trouble writing characters in a way that engage our emotions. The amounts of details you put into this is pretty 'wow'. Mistakes such as grammar are pretty minor and don't distract from the story.

Overall this is a pretty good story and I would recommend this to anyone and I wish you well on your future writings.

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Another good work!

Just like part 1, you done a great job on being descriptive and transitioning to the first person perspective was an interesting way to now focus the story on Lucy's perspective. Everything that was happening, I find it very easy to understand and relate. Most of everything I wanted to say was said in part 1. So far it's enough to get me invested and I look forward to see what happens next and if you ever need someone to check out your story's don't be shy to ask me what I think as I'll definitely check it out.

Great job and keep up the good work. 👍🏻

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Great story so far.

This was a enjoyable story so far. Your writing style is quite simple yet descriptive enough that I can very much envision anything that's going on. Your characters are well written in a way that each character seem to have their own quirks and flaws and doesn't make them too lacking in depth and growth that some beginner writers have trouble writing characters in a way that engage our emotions.. Any mistakes such a spelling and grammar are seen as minor and don't distract from the story.

Overall this is a pretty good story and I would recommend this to anyone and I wish you well on your future writings.

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Very well written.

The story is quite intriguing as being very Interesting. Though I'm not entirely sure what the plot is going to be about as I'm aware this isn't finished yet, what I read so far has piqued my interest on wanting to know more about it. The characters are written in a good way, that don't make them seem written as flat/one-dimensional, which some beginner writers have a problem on writing good characters, that make them grow and change overtime. Your writing style is very good, very descriptive that I can very much envision everything that is going on. Any mistakes that comes from spelling or grammar, isn't anything major that discracts from the story.

Overall this is a well written story and I recommend this to anyone who loves anything to do with vampires and the supernatural.

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Awesome world building and lore!

Retribution is intricately weaved fantasy tale with plethora of lore and world building. Gets a tone of info dumping and times it can be overwhelming, through the pace is well balanced and the amount of details you put into everything is astounding! The characters are done in such a way that make them seem quite real and engaging enough for our emotions. Honestly there's so much about this book that I can't really explain. But I'll say your book is on top level with other rich lore fantasy's out there.

Overall, you done such an amazing job on the world you built. There's so much going on that keeps you intrigued and engaged and I would really recommend this for anyone who's into such heavy complex fantasy such as this.

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Loved every minute of it.

I absolutely enjoyed this story. It has become a favorite of mine. The plot, the characters, the everything is just fantastic. The writing is so descriptive and engaging and I found it hard to stop reading. I'm definitely reading the second part when it come.

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An Interesting Read

What a unique kind of read. I like the whole take on the history and such and it feels somewhat like I'm reading a journal. The writing style is quite simple yet very descriptive and I can very much picture everything that's going on. Anyway mistakes are seen as minor and don't distract from the story.

Overall, this is a pretty good story. Good job and I wish you luck on your writing career.

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Great potential! 👍🏻

Even though the story isn't entirely finished and is a draft. You did a pretty good job on what you written so far. I never read anything that's based on Sirens, and I found that a pretty interesting thing to based your story on. Your writing style is quite simple, yet does a good job being descriptive. The characters are written in a pretty good way that don't make them entirely seem one-dimensional, as most inexperienced/beginner writers struggle to make a character with characteristics that make them seem real and change and grow overtime. Anyway mistakes such as grammar and such are quite minor and don't distract from the story.

Overall, this has the potential of being a good novel and good job on what you written so far. I wish you luck on your writing life. 👍🏻

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An interesting read.

The story is quite intriguing as being very Interesting. I thought the whole Oragon being a whole other planet, process with magic crystals, immortality and such was a very cool way of going about it. Though I'm not entirely sure what the plot is going to be about as I'm aware this isn't finished yet, what I read so far has piqued my interest on wanting to know more about it. The characters are written in a good way, that don't make them seem written as flat/one-dimensional, which some beginner writers have a problem on writing good characters, that make them grow and change overtime. Your writing style is simple, yet good at being descriptive, especially the characters. Any mistakes that comes from spelling or grammar, isn't anything major that discracts from the story.

Overall, I think it's a great read and I would recommend this to anyone who likes a fantasy with some sci-fi mixed in. Good job on writing this story. It really has a potential of being a good novel. 👍🏻

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Quite good!

It's a pretty good story on what I read so far. I was a little confused on the world setting at first, as I wasn't sure if this was a medieval fantasy or a modern fantasy with medieval mixed (kind of like some Final Fantasy). Your writing style is quite simple and easy to follow through and you did a good job on writing the characters in a way that doesn't feel like I'm reading flat/cardboard characters that don't have characteristics that engage are emotions.

There are a few spelling errors, though they are simple fixes and don't discract from the story. Overall this is a pretty good story, I ended up chuckling on quite a few character interactions that felt pretty dynamic. Good job on what you written so far, I did enjoy it all way through to recent chapter and I recommend this to anyone who likes a good simple fantasy with serious elements from time to time.

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Well written

My knowledge about Egyptian Mythology passes little on what I read from Rick Riordan's, Kane Chronicles. Though this story was written quite good to be understood and easy to follow through. Your characters are written in such an easy way, easily understandable without feeling like I'm reading undeveloped characters with 'flat'/ 'cardboard' characteristics that don't really engage are emotions, that some beginner writers on here tend to do sometimes, as they've can't quite write characters in a way that makes them seem three-dimensional or close enough in that regard. I can't find much fault in your writing, as any mistakes are seen as nothing major and doesn't distracted from the story. Overall what I read so far, is a story that's quite enjoyable to read if anyone is a fan of egyptian mythological, with demigods and such as what you would expect if you are quite familiar with one of Rick Riordan's books.

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Wow, surprisingly good for a romance drama.

I never been much into purely romance drama's. But I got to say I quite enjoy this one. Seeing Eve going though up and downs in life and a relationship that turns sour, I pretty felt sorry for Victor near the end though quite happy how it all turn out. Through it all I found myself being pretty empathetic towards Eve the whole time, and really understand the emotions she was going through. You really captured the emotions in the characters in a way that really makes readers understand and the way you tell it is really well descriptive. The letters to Roseanne reminds me of the time my cousin made me stayed up all night and watch up to two seasons of Roseanne with her. So I was really surprised that there was something I actually know quite a bit about.

Overall you done the story in a really good way that made me feel for the main character. This is a really good story and good job on pulling on my emotional strings through it all.

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Really enjoyable.

I really enjoyed this story. It was really well written and I liked everything about the world and setting. The plot was well done and I was really intrigued about the lore and beliefs about the Goddess and how mages and magic are seen as evil by most of everyone in Rose's hometown. And I quite enjoy seeing Rose struggle about what to believe between her faith devoted to the Goddess
or accepting that mages and magic aren't the sort of evil that everyone believes.

Overall I really enjoyed it to the end and highly recommend this to anyone else who wants a good story about magic, mages, goddess's and such.

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Great story.

Reading the prologue and first bit of the chapter. I thought at first I may be reading a diary of the MC, though not much so as I continue on. The story is easy to follow along and understand and I didn’t know what to expect from a story with the word “Bootlegger” in the title, as I didn't know much about them. I laughed a little when I found out that the MC's Dad was referred to as "Sweetie". As for the MC I was expecting her to be a somewhat maybe polite and reserve kind of girl. I was surprised that she had humour and able to laugh things off with anything concerning trouble. I don't know much about the plot or were it was heading, but reading the six chapters I found myself quite immersed and did enjoy it all the way though. This has the potential of being a great story and good job to the writer, it really is good.

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Diaries of a Fighter

What I like about the story so far is that it's easy to understand and follow along. I personally like any story that involves fighting, MMA, martial arts, anything combat relating. The MC so far, seems as someone who is overconfident in his fights and pretty ambitious about becoming a good fighter. I could understand the tension with his family and can relate to him wanting to avoid them.

Overall I think this can become a pretty good story. Since it isn't fully finished, I'll come back and do a more fuller review once it's done. Good job so far. 👍🏼

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