Aiden Mayer

“That’s ‘Ronin-sensei’ to you, pal!”

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Excellent, for a short story!

I must say, this is very well written, even if it's a short story. During the short time I got to know Alden and Theo, I felt as if I known them longer. You have a great way of being descriptive in such details I can very much picture it all. The story was really well pace, the dialogues fit well and didn't drag on. Saw about two minior mistakes, but it didn't distract from the story.

Overall, this was a very good short story. Congrats if this was your first. You done a very good job on telling the story you wanted to tell. If you got more stories you want to share, don't be shy to ask me for my opinion, as I will definitely check it out.

Keep up the good writing! 👍🏼

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Fire On Fire

You done quite a good job writing this story. I'm not the kind of person to criticize on someone else's writing, as we have different writings styles and we all make mistakes.

I can see how much amount of effort you put to tell this story. The plot was easy to follow through and you have quite a good amount of depth with the characters. I quite enjoyed Ava's snarky attitude throughout it all.

Overall I can see the passion you put into this story and I congratulate you. I really hope you go on continuing writing stories. You really did a good job telling it.

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Good opening chapter.

Interesting opening chapter so far. I like books that immediately take you in the action. I can kinda see what this may be heading with this battle going on with the Dreadlord. And the futile attempt to escape with the baby. Makes me wonder on how you well go along with it with the parents either dying and the child lives or maybe one of the parents will survive, to us readers (who knows).

You did a pretty good job so far, keep it up. It's got potential. 👍🏼

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Pretty good so far.

The opening chapter open up pretty well. I like stories that show action quite early on as I feel I get immersed up in the story before I find out what the story is even about.

It's easy to follow and understand what's going on and you describe things quite well.

I noticed a few minor misspelled words here and there, but it doesn't disrupt from the story.

I'm aware it's not finished, so I don't know were the story is going in terms of a full plot, though what I read so far, this had potential in being a pretty good story. Good job so far and I hope things work out for the author in making this into a full book.

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Well written

My knowledge about Egyptian Mythology passes little on what I read from Rick Riordan's, Kane Chronicles. Though this story was written quite good to be understood and easy to follow through. Your characters are written in such an easy way, easily understandable without feeling like I'm reading undeveloped characters with 'flat'/ 'cardboard' characteristics that don't really engage are emotions, that some beginner writers on here tend to do sometimes, as they've can't quite write characters in a way that makes them seem three-dimensional or close enough in that regard. I can't find much fault in your writing, as any mistakes are seen as nothing major and doesn't distracted from the story. Overall what I read so far, is a story that's quite enjoyable to read if anyone is a fan of egyptian mythological, with demigods and such as what you would expect if you are quite familiar with one of Rick Riordan's books.

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Wow, surprisingly good for a romance drama.

I never been much into purely romance drama's. But I got to say I quite enjoy this one. Seeing Eve going though up and downs in life and a relationship that turns sour, I pretty felt sorry for Victor near the end though quite happy how it all turn out. Through it all I found myself being pretty empathetic towards Eve the whole time, and really understand the emotions she was going through. You really captured the emotions in the characters in a way that really makes readers understand and the way you tell it is really well descriptive. The letters to Roseanne reminds me of the time my cousin made me stayed up all night and watch up to two seasons of Roseanne with her. So I was really surprised that there was something I actually know quite a bit about.

Overall you done the story in a really good way that made me feel for the main character. This is a really good story and good job on pulling on my emotional strings through it all.

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Quite good.

Your book has pretty good potential and I can see you tried pretty hard in polishing this up into a good story.

I noticed a few minor misspelled words here and there, though it didn't distract much from the story. And also can I give you advise about adding space breaks or three-dot breaks when changing scenes suddenly? I got confused a couple of times with the sudden change in scenes. It would help a lot and let readers know ahead of time.

Other then that your story is pretty good and I'm aware your doing a few changes, which may be the reasons why there are mistakes in spelling, point of views and writing style.

Good job so far and I hope everything works well with your story.

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Really enjoyable.

I really enjoyed this story. It was really well written and I liked everything about the world and setting. The plot was well done and I was really intrigued about the lore and beliefs about the Goddess and how mages and magic are seen as evil by most of everyone in Rose's hometown. And I quite enjoy seeing Rose struggle about what to believe between her faith devoted to the Goddess
or accepting that mages and magic aren't the sort of evil that everyone believes.

Overall I really enjoyed it to the end and highly recommend this to anyone else who wants a good story about magic, mages, goddess's and such.

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Great story.

Reading the prologue and first bit of the chapter. I thought at first I may be reading a diary of the MC, though not much so as I continue on. The story is easy to follow along and understand and I didn’t know what to expect from a story with the word “Bootlegger” in the title, as I didn't know much about them. I laughed a little when I found out that the MC's Dad was referred to as "Sweetie". As for the MC I was expecting her to be a somewhat maybe polite and reserve kind of girl. I was surprised that she had humour and able to laugh things off with anything concerning trouble. I don't know much about the plot or were it was heading, but reading the six chapters I found myself quite immersed and did enjoy it all the way though. This has the potential of being a great story and good job to the writer, it really is good.

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Diaries of a Fighter

What I like about the story so far is that it's easy to understand and follow along. I personally like any story that involves fighting, MMA, martial arts, anything combat relating. The MC so far, seems as someone who is overconfident in his fights and pretty ambitious about becoming a good fighter. I could understand the tension with his family and can relate to him wanting to avoid them.

Overall I think this can become a pretty good story. Since it isn't fully finished, I'll come back and do a more fuller review once it's done. Good job so far. 👍🏼

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