Now Hear Me Out...
Let me explain. The story Dark by Silver_Specter is not a terrible start. They are getting their ideas on the page and sticking to a single plot and that is more than some of us can manage to do with frequent updates. However, having read the story in it's entirety thus far, I will say that the author has a way to go.
Read the story now
Firstly, I am not going to harp on grammar and sentence structure. It needs to be fixed if you want people to continue reading and understanding your story. No debating. (I've already recommended HemmingwayApp.com, a great online source for self editing and the possibility of joining up with a beta-reader only for grammar.) The score is so low because, even in the later chapters after several reviews, the issue has not improved.
Secondly, the main character could be much more interesting. He sleeps a lot, often opening chapters with him waking up. He narrates, sure, but its confusing exposition that doesn't really show him doing much of anything. He has bizarrely tranquil reactions to things that I feel regular people would be panicked, angry, or expressive over. He just goes with the flow of what is happening around him. The biggest criticism I've ever received was that my main character didn't do anything, but that they were an observer in their own life. Make Micheal do something, take back agency and control in his own life so that he's more than a lifeless narrator.
If you can create an environment where the reader can root for an interesting main character and feel invested in a story where grammatical errors don't distract them from the overall plot, then there may be something strong left to work with. The overall concept of the story would be more interesting, and the plot twists more powerful, if I didn't have to read things more than once to make sense of them or if I felt more invested in the character's conflicts.
Please, please take these recommendations in stride. Again, not all of us even get to the stage where we write down the thoughts we have and share them with others. My goal is not to condemn the author, but encourage them to make changes that will bring them new readers who will continue to read beyond the reviews.