Alicia D'Tourna

Rome, Italy

Reader, writer, and artist. I am the Anton Ego of Inkitt. Languages: English, French, German, Russian (practicing), Spanish Poetizer: @AliciaDTourna

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Clash of Tides

I went into this story literally thinking it would be like the original "Little Mermaid." A story of tragedy that includes hopeless romantics and dreams that never seem near, but are reached that the end. Instead, I was surprised by the dark undertones and situations that characters are put into that seem to go hand-in-hand with the time period they live in. "Clash of Tides" still holds that fantasy feel through its environment and characters such as the Mermen, while also showing intense emotion through the realistic nature of Elena's character and her past. The glimpses of the past not only help to better understand the world in which the characters live in, but also sets up the perfect conflicts that can motivate characters to tie together and move the plot forward.
There are times where some words are repeated and it's best to remain inconsistent with how many time they are. For example: Eye color(s). There are also spelling errors, but they're an easy fix.
The relatively dark nature of the story works well here, while there are many other stories that try to use the idea of being kidnapped mostly for romance plot purposes (Stockholm syndrome forms the basis of all functional relationships as all those writers know), here it's used as a way to get to know the character more. Is Elena level-headed? Does she give in easily to pressure? Will she just immediately throw herself on her captor the moment she lays eyes on him and call him "Daddy?" These are all questions that are answered when she is put through the situation of getting kidnapped. And, for the delicate topics such as rape that are mentioned in this book, I do think you handled them pretty well. By giving the characters more depth and not having Elena immediately just switch into codependent-brainwashed mode and using that to make the romance of the book, it makes it more believable, in a way. Elena crying, being fearful, and even attempting to escape instead of just agreeing to spread her legs is more logical. That's the part of the book that I enjoy most: the fact that these characters were made to tell a story and not just fulfill a person's smut fantasy (though there isn't anything wrong with that as long as you don't romanticize rape and everything else wrong in the world that is hurting a person). So, yes. That's probably the part that stands out most to me and, while the entire book is extremely addictive and great, that is what makes me want to keep reading . . . that and Seidon.
I'm being serious right now, and I'm sorry I have to ask this in the review, but where can I get a Seidon? I need one in my life.

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Mine

The details are excellent without going too overboard. The plot moves at a steady pace that makes you want to keep reading until the very end. The characters flow along with the plot, which helps get the reader "hooked". I love this so far and I hope to continue seeing more of your talent!

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You are just mine!

Short and straight to the point, this is a story about a psychotic obsession that owned my attention from the first paragraph. I found a few grammatical errors, but you barely notice it because the mind becomes so focused on the story itself. Overall, amazing! You have talent with your amazing style of writing and I hope you build on it and become even greater!

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The Angel & The Eunuch

"The Angel & The Eunuch" was a pleasant surprise that captured both my attention and my heart with it's plot and characters. This is exactly the kind of book that I would like to see getting more attention because it breaks out of the thick ice made of love-triangle copies and mythological romances. This is a book that told a story without trying to push any messages into the reader's face and maintained a fairly formal writing style (a writing style that didn't use thousands of pop culture references or language that is either far too casual or entirely improper).
The book extracted emotions from me by helping me connect to the characters in the unique present-to-past sequences that kept me invested. I found myself crying at some points as well, both from pity and frustration in relation to what is happening in the plot. I also like how the characters, while being complex, still contain a sense of untouched mystery to them. What I mean by this is how not everything is explained. They simply tell you their side of the story, relive their memories, and the reader has to determine how to judge the character based on what they've gathered. This adds a nice human quality to each character that I find helps the story feel more realistic.
That being said, I did find a few issues with dialogue breaks and paragraph spacing, more towards the end. A few punctuation errors were also present, like sentences ending with commas when there should be periods, and some parts of the story could be explained a bit better, like how Agnes knows exactly what happened to Max when there was never a scene that mentioned him telling her; what happened to the Bratva after Agnes left; how Alyosha died (I also find it interesting that "Alyosha" is a nickname for "Alexei," which I don't know if it was done on purpose or by accident, and I would like to better understand why Agnes would give that name to her daughter); what was the fate of Alexei's mother; was Igor as bad as Michail; what happened to the brothel; did Alexei ever get to see his great-grandchildren in the flesh? These were all questions I was left with that felt like loose plot strings that could have been tied. Simple editing could easily solve this. Another aspect that I found a bit troubling was the translation of Russian slang or English to Russian. I found a few of them to be a bit off, in a way. There is an app of Russian slang on the Play Store and App Store that could help with this (I don't know if you would like the link, but it's called "Russian Slang & Swear Words). However, the inclusion of other languages was something that I like overall, though in some points, I did which it were specified as to what language the characters were speaking in order to talk to one another. At most point, I just assumed they were speaking English, but it didn't fit in with the setting most of the time.
All in all, the story was beautiful. I really do wish there would be more books like this out there in the world. I understand there is a lot of suffering in this book, which is something a lot may not like, but, to me, it's a true testament to a writer's ability and a way to get lost in a world that is familiar but far from the one we all know today. It makes one experience emotions that we might not experience every day which is a unique form of literary beauty. I sincerely thank the author for sharing this with me and giving me something new to experience without any politics or controversial opinions. Truth be told, I'm also tired of seeing copy and pastes of basically the same plot and characters with different names in every corner (I can already hear all the outrage and screeches of angry teens and soccer moms) and that is why I've grown such an attachment to this book. Thank you for writing something unique while not being afraid of pushing boundaries in your writing because that is what a true writer does, and exploring taboo or sensitive topics (that are always used to fuel toxic "romances" for some reason), and not using it as a form of deus ex machina or a tool, is exactly what writing is for. Again, thank you for giving me an actual story to read and sink my teeth into. You have an extremely bright future ahead of yourself as a writer if you continue along this path and build upon your skills. I'm eager to read what else you have to offer.

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Giovanni De Rege

From the very first page, I was hooked. The characters and the setting worked really well together and the reader is given a general idea as to who the characters are from the very beginning without giving too much away and allowing for their development. First impressions are always important and my first impressions of who the story will be following was very good. I like how the story is told through the persepctives of the two main characters, which allows the reader to get more familiar with them. The only issues I found was when the point of views seemed to shift from Giovanni's to Isabella's or the opposite. I would say to just focus on one of their POVs even when wanting to show how the other characters think at the moment.
A few grammatical errors here and there, but nothing that will interrupt the flow of the plot or distract the reader. I overall loved this book and couldn't get enough of it! The characters are very likeable, the plot was interesting, and I can't wait to see where this goes next.

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Unspoken Love

This is one story that I will always remember with its characters and plot. The writing style really helps drag the reader into the intensity of the moment and makes you anxious to go to the next chapter. I can say that I'm glad I got here when there were so many chapters or else I wouldn't have gotten to binge-read it like I did.

I adore the use of telling the story through the perspectives of both Destiny and Damien, two completely different people with different worldviews. This adds a bit of spice by allowing the reader to experience the cold, gray, and washed-out blue world of Damien and the warm, bright, vibrant world of Destiny. The two had an amazing chemistry between them, one that I don't find forced or like it's there for the sake of the plot. It actually feels organic, the way they play off one another works extremely well.

However, there were some minor issues that I found here and there such as spelling errors, but they can be easily fixed and they rarely interrupt the flow of the story-telling. There were also punctuation errors that I would pay more attention to, but other that, your grammar and punctuation was great! My only real critique would be that I wished there were times where the setting could be explained a little more, like the beginning when Damien was going to meet his boss, I wanted to get more of a feel for the atmosphere, like what the décor was like. Even without that, though, I was still able to imagine it being a dark, foreboding place built with the blood of others.

This is a great book with representation for the mute community, gripping scenes, and a sprinkle of magic to tie it all together and raise the stakes! Well done!

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The Sorceress Queen and Her Mates

I'm adding this to my reading list and no one can stop me from doing so!

I love how distinct the characters are when switching their points of views and am extremely grateful for you labeling when you are switching those points of views. It makes the story extremely easy to follow. As of pacing, I like it a lot! It's not going too fast or too slow. However, there are a lot of punctuation errors and only a few spelling errors here and there, but nothing that can't be fixed or anything that disturbs the flow of the story. There were also many words that could have been replaced such as "stuff" when referring to a certain amount of items. Also, in the first chapter, try not to make mentions of a character's pigmentation too redundant. But other than that, the story is beautiful and I love Azure as the kind of person she has been constructed to be, and the same goes for Rayan. There can be some serious chemistry going on between these two and I urge you to continue along the path your carving for their relationship and I don't doubt there will be a lot of drama going on!

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Time for Love

An amazing read that I highly recommend! The plot flows and moves forward, it never stays in one spot for too long, but long enough so that you know where the setting is and enough to establish the intriguing dialogue of the characters. I really can't wait to see the further character development of the main character and storyline itself. This is an original story I very much enjoy as you have done such a brilliant job writing it!

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Dark Shadow

I do believe the story has a lot of potential. However, it reads to me as more of a first idea. What I mean by this, is that it feels as though it was a thought for a story that had been developed in a way similar to that of a first draft. I did like the idea, though. It was twisted, unique, and the inspiration was definitely there, but I feel as though the story needs more development.
The writing style does tend to disrupt the plot a lot, often explaining every action, making for inconsistency in pacing along with the inconsistencies in the story. There are some points where characters names are mixed up, which makes it very confusing. Not only this, but it feels as though it's a story that hasn't been premeditated, as if it has no ending. This can lead to dragging within a story and poorly timed character development, losing a reader's interest.
My advice would been to write a quick rough draft of the story just to lay out all your ideas. Then, look back on the ideas and make the necessary adjustments before working on putting it into a more complete format. Always be aware of the fact that even the greatest writers have to rewrite their books at least twice before they can settle with having a final copy, but only when they have all their ideas coherently written out. Overall, my main issues were the lack of development in the plot, spelling and grammatically errors, inconsistencies in the story, the characters having untouched/unused potential, and the feeling of the story being a bit aimless, like there is no definite end. Without an end or beginning, the middle won't be upheld. Other than this, the idea was good and I suggest you continue writing because you do have talent that can be built upon and I do believe this is one story that will be splendid once rewritten.

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Ronin: The Sword Who Cuts the Heavens

By far, one of the best books I've read, as of late! I've loved practically everything about this book from it's characters to the way in which the story itself had been constructed.
The writing style, was the strongest part of the story, in my opinion. It provides a hook that baits the reader before catching them and never letting them go. It was coherent and provided insight into another culture (or, at least, a culture different from mine) while making the reader feel as though it is something they've known all their life, like a beautiful song from their childhood. The characters are all unique and extremely well-written, each one having an extra layer to them that makes them three-dimensional and more lively overall. Their humanity makes it easy to go along with the story and understand where each character's loyalty lies, what their personality is, and what their reasons are for doing the thing they do. It's plot is also one that I find quite engaging. I've read many books that attempt to accomplish the same goals this story has with their plot, taking place in a different time period with a bit of romance and action. Most of those stories wind up being cliché in what might possibly be the worst way ever. However, here, the reader gets to see/read the character growth. It also places a twist on the genre, making it memorable and easy to recall.
This is one story that I will forever remember and I hope you continue writing and expressing your talents as an author to the world because you are an author that can write a story that can be thoroughly enjoyed by many people alike!

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Wolf Heart

I like the fact the story is clear and concise when it needs to be. For example, the descriptions help to aid the reader figure out what is currently happening in the story. I also like the insight we get into Steven's personality, which makes it easier to sympathize with him and read into just what kind of person he is. It also allows for speculation as to what his next move would be and how he will affect the plot. Now, let me continue by justifying my rating for the writing style and technical writing skills. The story is well written in some parts, but in others, there needs to be editing for both grammar and the way they were written. There were paragraphs and paragraphs where all causes, effects, movements, and thought processes were being explained instead of shown. Every author needs to trust their audience will understand their imagery as long as the imagery falls in line with the writing style that has been used from the beginning of the book. This shortens paragraphs, read time, and holds a reader's attention for longer periods of time. Also, I understand I had complimented on the insight into Steven's personality, but on that note, I would also like to follow up with how each character feels similar to another from a different book written by a different author. What I mean by this, is how each character lacks the extra layer that sets the apart from the average best friend cliché. You want to strive to make your book and it's characters as memorable as possible and different from the rest of the same genre, not just from a different book.
The plot of the book needs something the spice it up a bit. Something other than the opposite kingdom and questions on where loyalties lie. There has to be something else, because the reader will otherwise take this as a read and forget about it when they read another book similar to it. Or perhaps, twist the plot into something else, something no one will expect. Try not to follow the same formula that other writers do because you'll wind up lost in the sea.
Overall, I don't think it was bad. I actually see a lot of potential in your writing. I don't want this review to discourage you in any way shape or form, I just think you should try experimenting with new ideas that have maybe been left untouched or molding this genre of book into something you don't typically see. I believe you can do it and make something that will stand out from the crowd, but you need to think more out of the box and try new things here and there. I strongly recommend that you keep writing and experimenting with your writing style and concepts and to keep practicing as well. You will only get better. Again, I don't mean for this to discourage you, I'm giving my honest thoughts and I want to succeed. Never stop writing no matter what.

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Silver Hair

I'll begin by justifying my rating for the technical writing skills and writing style. The sentences can be a bit difficult to follow along with at times, especially with the dialogue and when it comes to imagery. It could use some work, but it isn't too bad. It's the same with the grammar, it isn't atrocious, but there are a few words that had been misplaced that change the point of view from third to second, then back to third. As long as you watch for that, everything should be fine and it was enjoyable to read about Julia's feisty personality.
Next, is the plot. I liked Julia, though she seemed a bit like the average virgin in college. I do think an extra layer could have been added to her to make her stand out from the other female protagonists of books of this genre. The plot itself had a bit of a twist that I liked, which is how the playboy was supposed to have feelings. This has been done multiple times, only here, it's a main part of the story that is a bit explained to the reader, not that it's treated like a plot point, but more of a part of the character's personality. I think it was definitely incorporated into this story better than others. However, the character that it had been applied to wasn't the person I would necessarily say I could sympathize with or feel my heartstrings pulled for.
This is ties into my justification for the overall rating. I do think this story had an unbelievable amount of potential, and the way it was written did catch my attention and provided a hook, but I was completely detached from the story with the roommate's behavior. It was creepy, a bit disturbing, and was borderline harassment. The way he acted towards Julia shouldn't have been a part of his character if this is meant to be a romance/drama, it would be more fitting had this been a horror/thriller. I couldn't see myself enjoying this story when he was constantly cat-calling her and throwing himself at her trying to bed her. It was disgusting and made me feel uncomfortable as a person who has experienced this before. I wanted Julia to get away from him as quickly as possible. The only thing that could save the story is if the playboy is flirtatious without touching her or getting physical. I understand he is made to be outrageous, but this is beyond that, it is harassment and I don't want a well-rounded woman such as Julia to be falling for someone like that, just I don't wish this upon any other woman. Unlike every little thing that is now being called "problematic", this is the one factor that has always been seen as and always will be truly problematic. Even the Victorian handbooks that teach a woman of how to be etiquette refer to this sort of behavior to be something to be avoided and the handbooks for the gentleman instruct them to defend ladies for men like this. This isn't something to be played as romantic no matter the time period.
Overall, you honestly do have talent and you have show to be a person who can write a good book that can catch a reader's attention easily. Perhaps, your other works have male characters that are very different from the one in this story in a good way, but when it comes to this work, the playboy's behavior is what has ruined it. My only advice would be to keep him flirtatious and remove all uncalled for/unwanted physical contact. I do hope you don't take any of this as any sort of discouragement, I just want you to be aware of this before someone reads this and begins to start a controversy around your name. It's a terrible thing to happen to authors, especially talented ones such as yourself. If, someday, you do make changes to the story, I would be more than glad to revisit and change my review, but as of now, these are my final thoughts and I do hope you continue to write, improve, and don't take anything I had said to heart.

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Candyland

I like the idea for the story, and as a lover of different genres-horror being one of them-I can definitely write of this being one of the few that holds an immense amount of potential just by reading one chapter alone. The build-up of suspense nearing the end was done well, even exposing the personality of the main character even more, letting the reader have more of a feel as to who she is. However, there are a few parts that I feel can be shortened and sprinkled throughout the story in later chapters to give more of an "unfolding" plot. All the scenes where she reminisces about losing her virginity and punching that pervert in the face take away from the intrigue of the main plot, it makes the reader's attention sway to other areas when they last too long. Other than this, I only see grammatical inconsistencies and dialogue errors and the rest is done well.
As of now, there isn't really anything else for me to work off off, as only one chapter has been published so far, but I hope to read more soon and to see what lies in the future for the main character. Well done and do keep writing!

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Queen of Darkness

Let me start off by saying that this story has a lot of potential. I especially like how Greek mythology was incorporated into a more modern type of setting and I find that to be the biggest attention-getter for me. My favorite character would and wouldn't be Hades, and I'll explain that which will also explain the biggest issue I've found with the book. I like Hades because he seems normal. What I mean by this, is that he feel human, like how the ancient Greeks had intended for all the Gods and Goddesses to be, and I commend you for that. And as a person who has taken and entire class of Greek mythology, I was nostalgic to be seeing one of my favorite Greek Gods in action once again, and the premise of how none of them were really in their true form added an extra layer, making Hades the most interesting character overall, in my opinion. My issues come around the moment the humans are introduced and Aphrodite mentions Reviana's age. Hades is the real God, not someone named after the God, meaning he is most likely thousands of years old and Reviana is only in her twenties. Now, unless I missed the part where Reviana happened to be alive for hundreds of years, but keeps getting her memories wiped out by Aphrodite, and she happens to be immortal, I consider this to be reminiscent towards predatory behavior. Especially since there is a clear difference in the power dynamic and how much control Hades really has much more of an influence over Reviana that even she, herself, thinks.
I would definitely change that to avoid any controversy in the future, like the controversy around "Lore Olympus" and the predatory behavior of Hades there. Other than this, I would definitely say there are many bumps in the writing style that stops it from being fluid. In other words, the pacing is inconsistent, but it's not too bad, and there are many grammatical errors that can be easily solved.
I honestly think you have a lot of potential as a writer and I would love to see you progress, but I just couldn't feel immersed completely in the book when the age difference between Hades and Reviana is lingering in the back of my head, even with my excitement when seeing mention of a subject that I love: Greek mythology. This was actually a pretty good read, but the positive parts of the book are put in the shadows by the one major issue that I've pointed out numerous times.
However, you should still keep writing. And I say to keep writing because you clearly have a talent for it that is there and is emerging, but your ideas need to be clearer and not remind any readers of anything else. For example, Greek mythology with a modern twist the way this was done reminds me of "Lore Olympus," which is a comparison you may want to stay away from. Just remember while writing that this is meant to be completely yours, so that whenever someone reads something similar to it, they think of your book. And if you are inspired by something or the work of another writer has a heavy influence on your story, then it's okay to let it be known, just add your own twist.
All in all, these are my thoughts and I sincerely hope you continue writing. I don't mean to discourage you, I'm just giving my honest thoughts and opinions but it's because I want you to grow as a writer.

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Tormented

"Tormented" is a story that has definitely caught my attention and won't letting it go any time soon. The dialogue is what I would say is the strongest point of the book, extremely organic. The way they talk and respond to one another seems so natural it's intriguing, making you want to know which character is going to say something next and what they will say. It's almost like being present in an actual conversation and that is something that was accomplished well here.
The characters are also layed-out well within the first and second chapters, giving the readers a feel for what kind of people they are going to be reading about. My only criticism would be one the first chapter. There were times where Salem would be talking about herself as being stronger than the rest and, personally, I think it would have been better to show how much stronger she is instead of her giving the reader that sort of information, which is done within the very same chapter and is shown in almost every chapter afterwards just in the way she acts while around people, so I don't feel as though that bit where she explains it is needed.
But other than that, the story is great! The plot is very interesting and, my goodness, I need a Leo in my life! I love all the characters and they all have that slight quirk in their personalities that keeps them interesting, realistic, and lovable, one way or another, something that can't be found in many stories anymore. Overall, this has been an enjoyable reading experience from me and the author is so talented that I believe this will continue to be an enjoyable experience even after it ends and I look back on it. Well done!

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How to Love

This story has something that I don't find in many others: A hook that grabs me and doesn't let me go. I, for one, am a fan of a books that start off with defined characters, moments that evoke emotion, and immersive atmospheres, all of which I found within the very first chapter. Corrina is a character I can tell will never fail to keep the reader engaged and the plot exciting, especially with how well she plays off other characters like Chicago. The amount of detail put into "How to Love" is perfect; there aren't too many, nor is it too vague. I absolutely love this about this book because it helps the reader to immerse themselves into the story without feeling as though they can't picture the setting or as if the plot is being slowed down with the amount of words used to create the imagery. Interactions between characters and their environments are vivid, blend together flawlessly, and are realistic. I especially like that all the characters have their own personalities and their own lives. I adore this because they don't feel as though they solely exist to affect the main character. It adds a nice touch of life and freshness since so many other stories only have characters that will make the main one look good.
There are a few punctuation and grammatical errors sprinkled throughout but not nearly enough to lower the rating for technical writing skills down to a four. These were just a few things I've noticed here and there while reading, but other than that, there wasn't anything wrong with this book.
With all of this that I have written for this review, the book has a fluid plot that I have no doubt will tie itself into a lovely, neat bow at the end, bringing a clean end to all the plot threads. The way in which it is being written right now has me waiting for more and I hope there is more soon.
Well done, you're an excellent writer and I can't wait to read more from you in the future! This is a book that I would definitely recommend!

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The Exit Plan

The way this book is written is quite lovely, giving it an sort of airy, light feeling to it and I do like how it's tone shifted from the prologue to the first chapter, only further emphasizing the change in time and how Will has changed. The idea of being in the present and then going back to the past in order to tell is story is intriguing, however, I lost a bit of that intrigue within the first chapter with descriptions of single items that were a bit too long.
The reader is given a general idea of the characters from the very beginning. For example: Will is someone who overlooks the flaws of the girl he is infatuated with. My main issue with the characters is that they feel as though they don't have lives of their own. Every character in this story feels as though their entire world revolves around Chantel. I understand how one person can impact someone's life and this is a way to make a story feel more realistic, but when it feels as though the character's soul purpose for existing in the story is to advance the plot and revolve around another one of the characters, it removes some sense of the series of events that follow being organic.
I really do believe this book has a lot of potential and I would like to read more. You're a good writer and I know you have the ability to go above and beyond with every chapter you write. Go crazy and write your soul into the pages of your book because that is what the readers will sense. What I sensed was inspiration and the wanting to write a good book, but what I don't feel is a solid plot or intensity where there should be. My final piece of advice would be to write out a brief outline of your story, read it and make any revisions to it that you would like, then go back and make your manuscript. This helps eliminate writer's block, make it easier to make two dimensional characters, look for clichés, and see what you can do to make this boom stand out from the rest. I know you can, but I sense that you're holding yourself back to make something others would enjoy instead of writing something you, yourself enjoy. Maybe it's just me. This is all my opinion and recommendations, but in general you're a good writer and you and your book have much potential. I believe you will reach it in no time at all.

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Blood of Deception

It took me a while to finish this book, but it was an entertaining read overall. The characters were likeable and the settings were interesting.They had great chemistry and all had something to do with the plot as well, which is very nice because you're not taking up extra space for the sake of word count.
There were many spelling errors, but they weren't anything too distracting. I would say the only real issue I found was with the plot. For me, it didn't have that hook in the beginning that makes a reader crave to learn more about the characters and find out what's going to happen next. It felt a little vanilla to me, like the action and drama was there, but it wasn't screaming at you and having a major impact. I would say the easiest way to solve this, is to use dramatic words, but this is all just my opinion and you are a very talented writer either way. Actually, the best way to fix anything is to keep writing to explore your talents and advance them even more because I honestly do like your writing style because it's so quick and straight to the point. You don't dwell on unnecessary details.
All in all, this was a good book. The characters and setting made it enjoyable and I would recommend it to a friend :)

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Xavier's Rose

I would just like to say, from when I first started reading your book to now, I can really see growth in your writing as well as your formatting. There really aren't any issues I found other than the ones I have stated in the comments and even without those, I can see how much you improve. This is your first book and, as you mentioned earlier, English isn't your first language but your writing is honestly very nice and you don't really see any spelling errors that are distracting.
This story has a lot of potential just as you do as an author, and I can see how much heart you put into your work and how these are characters you love and cherish. I also really appreciate the bit of a backstory you have to Xavier and Rose, though I must admit I was a bit unsure about their kiss being that they were children even though I do understand it was innocent, so this is just a nitpick of mine. There were some adorable scenes between the two and I'm so excited to see how they pick up where they left off when they meet again as adults!
Again, your story has an unbelievable amount of potential and you, as an author, are quite capable of not letting those opportunities to create a unique story slip from your grasp. My last piece of advice would be to continue pushing your limits and growing as a writer because I do believe you have a bright future if you continue striving towards your goals.
Amazing work!

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Algea and the Scarlet Demon

I really do like how you use ancient Egyptian mythology as inspiration for your story and how you use the elements of it to connect your characters' importance to the story. The possibilities as to where this could go are endless and it does hold the readers attention. However, the descriptions of the story tend to be a bit overwhelming and not at all subtle, which is needed to keep a reader hooked throughout the entire story and keeping them wanting to know more. Most of the over detailing can be removed just by giving an exact time period and a solid setting, that way you could spend more time on laying out the characters and plot in more of a slow burning fashion instead of jumping from scene to scene because the details take up so much of a chapter. Now, the doesn't mean that you shouldn't have detailing at all.
At points, the point of views would get mixed up and it was a bit jarring, but otherwise, it was fine though I do wish more of the characters' internal thoughts would be revealed while using first person point of view. Punctuation and spelling mistakes could be found here and there, but I wouldn't fret because it's an easy fix.
Overall, while I did enjoy certain aspects of the story itself, I couldn't find myself able to understand the characters. I understand if this was meant to be a story that was more of a creative outlet for a plot that's been circling your mind for hours, but I found it a bit rushed. Algea is a sort of demonic demigod and Seth is a human. There is a clear difference in power here, but Seth doesn't seem to react to that at all. Instead, he just becomes a sort of friend/companion for Algea, and Algea doesn't find it odd at all or is even annoyed by his presence. They just take an instant liking towards one another and there is no conflict between them. Personally, this removes a bit of the tension for me, but it might not be a problem for many others depending on what you intend for this book to be interpreted as.
Again, this book has great potential, but I feel as though there have been many missed opportunities that could have made it better.

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Flawless Façade

"Flawless Façade" is one book that carries the potential for quite the story. It's dark, brooding, and the sexual tension between characters such as Reece and Elizabeth can keep the reader interested. It's stories like this where it is imperative the author doesn't forget about the murder and the clues during the investigations that will eventually lead to the climax and drift off towards more of the romance side of things, so I really did like how, while not completely cutting out that sexual undertones of some dialogue between the characters, the main plot is mostly focused on the murder and the drama. Instead, any past romance is used as a way of tying together loose ends of the mystery.
Now, the grammar is something that I find quite distracting. As I've mentioned, the dialogue needs proper quotations, including flashbacks. You should only be using singular quotation marks when a character is quoting something. There are times as well when I would find a character would start their dialogue within the same paragraph of dialogue as another, and while that is a simple fix, it becomes quite confusing for the reader.
During the prologue and first chapters (mostly) there are times where descriptions will be used as roundabout ways of explaining a situations. Imagery, similes, and metaphors are lovely, but when it becomes too much, the reader loses focus as to what is really going on. For stories such as this, being more direct paired with the serious tone of the topic makes it easier for the reader to follow, especially since this is a story told through third person point of view. The way it is set up at times makes it seem more like it's being told through first person when it's not.
Now, I do like the characters, Reece especially. They are diverse with their own personalities and all add a bit to the plot. Now, I would point out Elizabeth is a character that I can't quite understand due to her having no relatability. Yes, she has lost someone dear to her as we all have, but being superb in both combat and intelligence makes her seem too out of place from the realism in which the rest of the characters display, almost otherworldly.
The shifts in time and setting are also a bit off for me. The story goes slow at some points, usually when characters are conversing, and then speeds up so fast that it's as if the characters have all teleported. The pace of the plot is inconsistent and I would recommend slowing it down in general without putting in too much detail where it isn't neccessary. It would make the chapters longer and what is going on more clear, so you would only need to use imagery to tell what is happening and less by means of comparison.
Other than this, the plot of the story is one I am in love with and I do hope you update soon. I don't want you to think my words are to say your book isn't good, it's quite the opposite, actually. I just want you to be able to make your book the best it can be, because, as a writer, you have a story to tell, and a brilliant one it is!

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The First Alpha's Son

I love the concept! So much can be done with it and it has so much potential with the characters that are a part of the story. However, the pacing is a bit too quick and makes it a bit confusing as to what is happening. If you drag it out at least a bit, the reader can get more of a feel for the characters and can better develop emotions towards them as well. For example, if a character is put through a tragic incident, the reader can sympathize or worry about the character.
There are a lot of speaking errors and I recommend Grammarly to help with that. Also, there isn't separation between dialogue just as there is between every other paragraph, making it a bit disorganized.
All in all, this book is great, but with a little less rushing through the plot and more complexity to the characters would make it even better. I do enjoy it and I can't wait to read where else you'll take this story!

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Exit Sign: A Theater of the Mind

This is one story that I find myself continuing to follow up until the end. Each and every character is unique and interesting, making the reader want to know more about them. The real-world situations they are put through and their train of thought are far from the average cliche stories that sugarcoat the reality of our life. The way the story was written also makes it clear as to what is happening throughout and I find the different ways chapters are written to be thoroughly enjoyable. For example, the way in which one chapter may focus more on the emotions of a character, such as Dave, to make them easier to understand, while others give more information as to what is happening in the world around them.

There are some confusing bits of dialogue, but it does nothing to ruin the fluidity of the plot. Honestly, this story is amazing and I absolutely love the way each chapter is titled with what day the story is taking place, creating a timeline without a diary entry sort of feel that isn't offered in many books.

Well done!

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Love from the Dark Web

I like the concept, turning something of what is usually a common horror genre into a romance is quite unseen. However, I do feel as though the information is literally being placed right in front of me, like I'm being spoonfed, which made it difficult for me to feel a mood for the story. A few grammatical errors, but I'd say that's it. Slow things down a little and don't try to rush through scenes to get to the juicy part; moreover, readers like a steady buildup to really reach that thrill or else the story will just be read read and then forgotten. Again, I like the concept, but try and slow it down, put more imagery into it and make the characters show more emotion that can be felt through the pages.

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Salvino

The storyline is interesting, although I do wish that the chapters were a little longer. For example, chapters one and two could have been conjoined. Some words can be replaced with synonyms to keep the flow without making it seem as of there is any repetition, but this can be easily fixed. There are times where information of the characters are given throughout the story, but other times where it feels as if it's just put on front of the reader all of a sudden. This is only the beginning of the story, but I did enjoy it. The dialogue had gotten a bit confusing at some points where I couldn't tell which character was speaking because of the separation. For each character, the dialogue should be together if the same character is speaking; in the end, this is another factor that can easily be fixed. I can't wait to see what more happens in the future with these characters!

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Black Hollow

There are no words to describe my captivation with the story from the first paragraph onward. It was like a magnet for me. I couldn't stop reading it! The characters are so interesting and diverse, their presences alone adds to the mystery and the cluelessness of the main character adds to it. I love that because it's told through the point of view of the main character, it's like you're in the same boat as them, slowly finding the answers to questions at they same time they do. Literally one of the greatest pieces of literature I've read and exactly my "cup of tea." I love your work and I know that this is only the beginning and you will no doubt blow me away the farther the story goes!

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Mythos

The story is whimsical with a heavy feeling to it when it has its serious tone. It keeps me wanting to read more with its fluid plot dynamic and identifiable characters. Just by reading it, you can sense the characters' emotions and tell who they are by their well-written dialogue. All in all, it's entrancing and I would love to read more!

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Five Words

This certainly catches your attention from the first paragraph. The characters are defined and their relationships to one another are clear. Their interactions move the plot forward, which keeps the reader "hooked." I did find some grammatical errors, however, they do nothing to taint the feel of the story itself nor sway the reader's attention. Overall, it is lush with originality and I will be adding this to my binge-reading collection.

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