Ally K.

Good start and a long way ahead.

I must say that it's an interesting idea, original and something I've never seen before and didn't even thought of. There are a few mistakes and the writing can be improved, and I have no doubt that it will improve with time, will be waiting for new chapters.
I must ask though, why "Yuilan"? It's not a typical Russian name, so I'm quite quizzed about your choice.

PS: I'm Russian, so if you'll need some help with the language or anything related to the country - let me know, I'd be happy to help =)

Refreshing story, if you like that kind.

So, I had some problems with this story, I'm not a big fan of third person narrative, but the writing was quite enjoyable. The start was very vague, a bit jumpy and quite strange, I had trouble understanding it. But the more I got into the book the better I liked it. I must say that for me personally it was one of the best third person narrative stories I've read, and that says a lot about this book.

Yes, I still didn't enjoy the narrative as much as I would with a first person view, yet it was well written. If the writer will pursue this further on and improve the writing style, there will be so many more stories to read that will be worth the while. There is a lot of potential in this book and in the writer, I do hope that she will improve the writing style. For me the writing felt a tad too epic, maybe? I'm not really sure how to explain it. For now I'm giving this story a 3.5 rating, but I do must say that the grammar was excelent.