Alorzen

Cincinnati

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Good Idea

I love the idea, and I think your writing skills are way better than mine, but ampersandromeda (I think) is right. The little story-thingies are disconnected and they don't really make me love your characters. It still hurts, though not as much as it would if I read something else and a persistent character in the story died.

I don't understand how they (Heretofore designated "The Government", or "Whoever-dunnit", or "They") put that stuff in, but since you left that vague, I suggest you put this in another contest as well -- maybe Hither and Tither or Shiver.

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