This story is absolutely amazing! Aside from some grammatical errors that only slightly paused the reading (which is perfectly normal for an online author doing their work all on their own) I loved reading this story! It's very engaging, and the writing style is spectacular.
Read the story now
Speaking from experience, it's difficult to write a story and do all of the editing and revising on your own. But, that's what reviews like this are for, so that the author can have that kind of help to make the story as best as they possibly can.
If I had to give any suggestions or advice, it would be this: don't give up. Don't ever give up, Paola. You're story is absolutely amazing, and it deserves to be on shelves everywhere. You're an amazing author, and I can't wait to read more from you!