This was an excellent take on this premise. I did not see the ending coming. You set it up so well and I felt a lurch when the ending came. The descriptions of the setting were on point and the characters were well done! The reference in the beginning gets you bonus points though.Read the story now
I love this story and love the characters even more! From the main ship's cute personality, to the main characters calm steadfastness, and the growing unease of morose insanity of the other A.I. Each twist and turn kept me reading till the end.
The ending was beyond adorable. :D
From the other review, it looks like you had more chapters up and I wish you did! This chapter alone was enough to earn my vote. The characters leapt off the "page" with depth and realism that few stories here match. They felt real, they felt like the good guys and they felt stuck. They knew what was happening and what they had to do was wrong, but for the greater good they had to make the choice.Read the story now
Great Anime Style Mecha Story
I loved this story from the very first paragraph. I really think you might want to consider using it for your description. I thought it was an interesting story with a few details left to the imagination as it should be with a short story.
You got the breathe of the story without all of the size of a regular novel. This could be an excerpt and I would read the rest, but it can also stand alone.
I would suggest you remove him mentioning the only reason he is at the academy from the beginning chapter so that your chapter where Kosu talks about it has more weight.
A Wonderful Short Story
I thoroughly enjoyed this delightful short story. It really has it all, happy parts, sad parts, AND a great ending! I loved the non-chronologically way you wrote the story. The little details like her approval of her purse or not really showed a masterful grasp of the finer details that make up story-telling! Well done!Read the story now
Great Short Story
The characters were well done and the danger felt real. This story really hit home as an older sister, how Zan dealt with his little sister. This is the moment when a child becomes an adult, when responsibility is thrust upon them. When reality smacks you down from your thoughts of self centeredness and shows you that there is a lot more than whether you want to carry a heavy bucket or not. Well done my friend. :)Read the story now
This is a great little short sci-fi story. I found it before the contest and the title drew me in. This story ended up being the last thing that I expected, but a refreshing difference for sure! You got a laugh out of me and I think you did well with writing the perspective of the alien to the point where until the humans explained, I didn't know what the humans did!Read the story now
A True Short Story
It is refreshing to read a short story that actually leaves you with a sense of finality instead of a open ended question of some sort. It is hard to find these days.
That being said, the technology introduced was understandable. The plot made sense and the character felt real. This is a great sci-fi set in the not to distant future.
I liked how the main character was just a few steps removed from a mad scientist. He wasn't evil just wanted to same time. :D
Fun, Steampunky Read
The detail that you have when describing the steampunk creations is fabulous and really draws you in. I was surprised by the fresh plot twists and the strong characters. It did not feel like a simple retelling, but a variation of it's own. My only critique would be how the spindle was handled, I think it could have been more interwoven in the plot, but it really didn't take away from this fun, steampunky read!Read the story now
This has Once Upon A Time and Lost in Austen beat by a thousand degrees. The characters were well developed and not cliche. The plot had twists I did not see coming. I was hooked from the very first chapter and couldn't stop reading till the end. Which was perfect by the way, I wish I could vote for this more times!Read the story now