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Interesting Start, But Needs Editing
I think there’s an interesting story here, but the writing is choppy and there are a lot of grammatical errors. Editing would allow the story to really shine.
Read the story nowGreat Potential
This is a great start to what could be a really great novel. I really like the main character and her interactions with Fred are hysterical. The concept is fun and a paranormal academy is always a great setting. But, this needs some editing. There are issues with punctuation throughout (missing or incorrect) and some of the wording is awkward. That said, those are easy problems to fix. Looking forward to seeing more.
Read the story nowGreat Start
I’m definitely very intrigued by what’s going on here! You clearly have an interesting idea.
Parts of this make it a little hard to read - I think you have a flashback in the middle but it’s not differentiated either by punctuation or through the narrative. You also have some punctuation I don’t understand in the dialogue (the dashes).
Overall, though, you have a good start and I look forward to reading more!
