With work could be a 5 star book
This is one of the hardest reviews I have ever had to write. So lets start with the good bits.
Read the story now
The plot is strong and original. The twist of Indra was something I never saw coming but delighted me. I loved Kindle in her complexity and the many shades of her personality. Jared was another complex character and with him I had kind of a love hate relationship. I think your sex scenes were done exceptionally well and the bluntness suited Jared. I also like how it was different for Kindle when see was with Indra. I think your ending will leave many wanting more myself included. This book has serious potential to shine brightly and appeal to many readers.
Okay, your work is like a beautiful garden that has become over grow with weeds making me have to wade through it Though the weeds I talk of are mistakes. They range from little ones like in instead of on, or a missing letter or word, to whole sentences that have repeated lines in them. I am sorry to say they are in every chapter. Others might not read on once they find those mistakes marring your work. So like every writer it is up to you to go back and start finding the pesky little buggers. The more I write the more I learn that editing is bigger than the imagination part because if its not written properly no one will read it to see your amazing imagination. Also I wanted to know more about Kindle in the beginning. I was desperate to know how old she was I didn't know her age just that she was at school. I also wanted to know how she got the nickname Kindle, I kept hoping you would reveal it to me. This all goes to point to the fact that you got me into the story quickly and kept a hold on me till the end. I got the feeling that you write quite quickly and I am the same. It means we write trying to keep up with our imagination and it comes out so fast that there are missing words or misspelt words etc. I have just given my work to a friend to see if she can find my mistakes it is quite hard to edit your own work. I just did 3 read throughs on my work editing as I went. Reading your work out loud is a good way to find those little mistakes or punctuation problems. I wanted to tell you when I first put up my story I am embarrassed to say that I didn't even had paragraphs and some people baulked at reading it, and I don't want the same thing to happen for you. So roll up those sleeves and tend to the beautiful garden you have created and clear away the mistakes that are marring your work. I meant my heading this could be a 5 star story but it needs your love and care and attention to shine at its brightest.