Chichen

Great Story!!!

I really liked this story! It’s a really interesting concept that I’ve enjoyed in other books but with a whole new plot. I think you’ve got good characters and they’ve got some good development already.

There are some small grammatical things that need fixed though. There are a lot of redundancies in here and they kind of pull me out of the story. Things like saying “his wide eyed blue eyes” for example. There are also a few times you generalized something instead of specifying it saying “the thing” instead of “my thing” or “his thing” kind of stuff. These are pretty small issues but having someone read through and mark issues like this so you can fix them would make the story easier to read and engaging.

Overall this is a really good story so far and I can’t wait to read the end of it! You are doing a really good job!

Very good!

I really liked this! Its rhythm was very good and very poetic. It really spoke to me and I loved the message.

Decent story

This was a really interesting story. The plot was cool and creative and put a spooky twist on the survival story trope. You also did a really good job at writing action scenes like when the characters fought with each other.

You really need to do something about the grammar and spelling. I know this story was rushed but I also looked at a few of your other projects and most of them are just as bad. It makes it really difficult to read and to stay interested in the story when there are so many spelling and grammar errors. Even a tool like spell check in a word document would fix a lot of the problems. Or grammar key which is free and also works within Inkitt.

The way the characters talked was also a little off putting. I think a lot of the time they just say too much and don’t leave anything for the readers to infer. It just doesn’t feel like how real people talk.

There are a few other things that could use fixed if you go back and edit this story but I don’t want to be too negative. You did a really great job telling and interesting and unique story. And to write this much in only one month is very impressive. Keep writing!