It's a Corvette in need of fine tuning
This story by JCK is like a 19660's Corvette in a lot of ways. It's fast, exhilrating, and beautiful. The descriptive language in this shows some excellent skill and mastery of prose. There is a solid and adrenaline pumping plot that will grip all who read it. Though, a word of caution, this is only for those interested in fantasy. For those looking for a lighter fantasy read that is more grounded, look at The Lord of the Rings. THIS is fantasy with all the magic, wonder, and mayhem that ensues that fantasy purists would love. Now like a Corvette from the 1960's, it could use a tune up. The greatest faults lie in the technical writing. There is excessive repetitive exposition that can easily be trimmed back to offer a more "show, don't tell" story and punctuation such as quotation marks and comma use. These can all be easily edited with a second or third edit. All in all, when the tune up is done, this Corvette should be ready to rev into the best seller's lists.
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