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It is a really interesting plot, I could imagine it visually in my mind and even imagine the characters as if they were alive right before my eyes. I advice you to proofread it quickly for some punctuation mistakes, I'm sure if you go back and re-read you will easily be able to correct it. You did well with this one, it was really creative and nice to read.

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Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.