David Estrada

Anaheim

I am a worthless person....So is my fictionalized author's persona

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I write my books...

I write my books for a woman I once knew. the people who killed my uncle threatened to kill me if I dated or married any woman especially Yesenia Vega. I think we were friends since being babies but when I was 5 I told her I would marry her....but things are difficult when police don't investigate murders especially when my mom witnessed her brother (an undercover police officer) being killed and then we were followed home by the killers and then they bought houses in our neighborhood but the police don't investigate murders. And I know I'm a bit off topic but your story is very sweet. I wish you all the success and happiness in the world.

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Pan Galactic Gargle-blaster

the first sentence is reminiscent of the description of the drink in hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy....love it
keep going

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Rainman and Rainbeau

I loved the Character name Rain...I knew the most beautiful woman in the world...other than either one of my mothers or sisters. She called me Rainman hoping I would go to Las Vegas or her family home. her family name is Vega. It never made sense why someone so beautiful as Yesenia would want me or love me...and so I never went and things turned sideways...I write all my books in the hopes my literature can create a beautiful life for her and me in the event she feels the same after 30 years.
Keep writing...I know your work will create a beautiful life for you and your loved ones.

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helping a sister out

the formatting needs to be fixed. In word when you edit turn on the formatting symbols...the enter symbol delete the 'enters' unless you start a new paragraph. Spoken word in Quotes needs to be a new paragraph...at least this is what i learn. I tell you this only because i have the same problem. I read the first chapter and the story is good.

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