Alpha Grace

5 years ago…

Jack’s POV

I always knew that the day my face was smashed in with a silver mace, would be a day, that would mark the rest of my life.

It was a group of Hunters that had gotten creative with some medieval weaponry. As alpha of the Evergreen Pack, it was my duty to protect my pack. And I do so without holding myself back. I was fighting one of the Hunters, protecting my father, when suddenly his partner pulled out a maze. He swung the massive lump of spiked metal, hitting the side of my face with incredible force. I remember hearing the sound of something cracking, pain, and then---

I woke up again to excruciating agony!

Some of the silver had embedded itself into the marrow of my jawbone and I had to be put into an induced coma. And I stayed in that coma for almost 6 months. When I woke up the second time around, I had to face an onslaught of new adjustments. I was permanently blind in my eye and half my face was scarred beyond recognition. My sense of smell was reduced to below that of even a human and shifting was extremely painful, to the point where I sometimes couldn’t even do it.

It was at that point that I realized. That moment when I saw the last hope my father had for my recovery, died. While I’d been in a coma my brother, Riven, and my father had been the ones leading the pack. When I failed to shift, my father decided to make Riven alpha instead of me. In his own words…

“No one wants a handicapped wolf as an alpha!”

I lost my birthright that day. I knew I could fight for it, but at that point in my life, I believed them. I was 21 and my pride had been severely wounded. I didn’t want to embarrass myself any further, appearing as a failure was bad enough…

But even that paled in comparison to the betrayal I felt because of her.

Skylar Thwan!

She was my mate.

My one and only!

Her first reaction to my appearances should have been my first clue though. She screamed and ran, hiding away in her room for several ways. And even after that, every time she saw me, I could feel the disgust and revulsion rolling off her in thick waves. Not that I blamed her. Even a year after my last surgery, my face was still sunken and scarred.

I looked like a freak…

I knew I should have rejected her right then and there. She was a true beauty. Golden, blond hair and eyes the color of sapphire. Her body was fit and perfect. Her laughter made my insides dance like little butterflies and her smile made my heart jump in my chest. And that was why I didn’t reject her.

Or let her reject me…

I believed that the mate bond would work in my favor. That once she got over how I looked, she would learn to love me. So I moved carefully. Let her take her time, being patient. Because I believed, that there was more to a man than a monster. I later realized that there was a word for people like me.

Idealistic fool…

“I’ll wait for you,” I told her one night after our date, although it was painful to talk. But that night she surprised me by taking my hand and looking me straight into my eyes.

“I don’t want you to wait,” she said, her lips slightly trembling. “I want you to claim me!”

And I did!

Feeling connected to her, was something I would never get used to. My wolf was content, purring in my chest as she lay next to me in bed. Our bodies were naked and sweaty from endless rounds of sex. I’d claimed her and my mark was on her neck.

It hurt like a son of a bitch to claim her, but it was worth every second of it. I loved her so much; she was my entire life. Although through our bond I could feel that she was still somewhat repulsed by my appearance. I didn’t blame her. I looked worse than Jonah Hex on a good day.

A beast to her beauty…

But I wowed to be patient with her and until she and her wolf were ready to claim me, I’d be whatever she needed me to be. Because of the damage to my jaw, I couldn’t kiss her the way I wanted. I couldn’t do a lot of things to her that I wanted, but I believed in the power of the bond between us.

And that it would be enough…

“I love you, Jack,” she said softly, as we got dressed and she gently kissed the unscarred side of my lips.

“I love you too, Sky,” I replied, wishing I could tell her just how much she meant to me. But the pain from saying just those few words and from claiming her was already pulsing through my head and I felt weak and sick from that alone.

I didn’t tell anyone that however. Instead, I took some painkillers and headed to my old office.

Riven sat behind the desk and while it pained my wolf to see him in MY rightful spot, I pushed the pain aside and instead focused on being grateful. At least he was a good alpha and he took care of the pack. And while my father seemed to be ashamed of me, Riven didn’t look at me any differently. He respected me, always asking me about my opinion and what I would do in this or that situation…

I realized later that that too has another name…

Guilt…!

This morning was no different than any other. I met my brother, Riven, in his office for the usual morning gathering. He, his beta, and his third were already there, talking about a project that needed more funding. I grinned, not missing that part of the job.

Jason, my best friend and the man who was supposed to be my beta, gave me a wide smile when he took a whiff of me.

“Someone finally got lucky,” he exclaimed, jumping from his seat, and pulling me into a bone-crushing hug. While only a few years older than me, he’d been my best friend for as long as I could remember. Despite everything that had happened, he’d stuck by my side through it all. He had been bitterly disappointed when my father renounced me as the alpha, meaning that he wouldn’t be the beta either. And in a big way, I felt like I’d let him down.

But he didn’t blame me.

Instead, he kept encouraging me, telling me that it was only a matter of time before I could shift again, and then I’d be alpha again. His motives might be selfish, but it helped to have him on my side, despite having lost all hope myself…

The others in the room looked up and I noticed the shock on everybody’s faces. Perhaps I should have noticed the look on my brother’s face. How the shock molded to anger in a split second, before he shook it off and plastered a smile on his face.

“Congratulations,” he said and the way he said it--- I think he was genuinely trying to be happy for me. But jealousy and sadness reeked off his body and being the fool I was, I believed it was because he hadn’t met his own mate yet.

“Your turn will come,” I tried to reassure him, and while I stopped to make any facial expressions long ago – mostly because they hurt like hell, but also because I looked ugly as fuck whenever I did – I still tried to tilt my lips into what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

He smiled back, not hiding his disappointment this time, and averted his gaze. We’d always been close as brothers and I was doing my best not to blame him for taking my place as alpha. It wasn’t his fault after all. I wasn’t fit to be alpha anymore, but it still stung the way my father had just given up on me. My brother was just picking up the slack…

“Do remember that not all problems go away, by wrapping them in plastic,” Jason joked just before we headed out. I didn’t reply but grunted in response, smacking him upside the head, which only made him laugh harder. I didn’t talk unless I absolutely had to. As I said, it was painful, so I kept my mouth shut for the most times.

“Jason, knock it off,” Riven growled as if he’d just offended him.

Again, I didn’t get the hint…

“Just be careful not to knock it up,” His beta replied with a wicked smirk and winked and again it was Riven who reacted aggressively, by lowly growling at his friend. I just rolled my eyes at them and pushed Jason out in front of me. Usually, before training, we patrolled a section of the parameter. Yeah, it was pointless, considering that my senses were all shot to hell, but at least doing this made me feel some sort of familiarity. Like there was something constant in my life.

Being the loyal friend that he was, Jason didn’t shift but stayed in his human form as we began jogging the familiar path.

About 20 minutes in or so, I was suddenly blindsided by a sudden pain in my chest. I gasped for air and if it hadn’t been for Jason, I would have crashed to the ground.

“Jack,” he exclaimed, but his worried face blurred as my vision went black. My wolf was going insane inside my mind, as pain overtook him. I couldn’t stand. I could barely breathe as the pain in my chest spread to my lower abdomen and for some reason, my genitals started to throb. As if someone was pouring liquid silver on them and I howled in pain, which sent more sharp torments to my brain. My mark felt like it was on fire and just like that…

I knew!

It felt as if it was something inside of me that just knew. Knew what was wrong. Knew that Sky – my mate! – was in bed with someone else. My mate was intimate with someone else.

Fucking someone else!

Fury and rage made me come back to my senses. Despite the pain, I forced myself to my feet and began running. I heard Jason call out for me, but I didn’t pause to look back. I needed to find my mate. To kill whoever she was fucking and then---

I didn’t think much past that. I just needed her back. I just needed the pain to stop. For me to think clearly again and--- and hold my mate in my arms. I didn’t know what I’d do beyond that, but for now, that singular goal was the only thing that kept me moving.

Kill!

Mate!

Move!

The pain was excruciating by the time I reached the pack house. I rushed upstairs, blocking out all other sounds as I listen for the moans and grunts that I needed would lead me to them. It was supposed to be impossible since the packhouse had soundproofed walls and doors.

But I heard them clearly!

I didn’t stop until I was at the door. A long-forgotten part of me knew whose room this was. I was after all in my old home. This floor was reserved for the alpha and his family. I’d once called this very room my own after all…

And the person it belonged to now was…

The door was locked, but I easily broke it down. And while all the clues had been there from the very beginning, I was still shocked when I saw my brother, balls deep inside my mate. His eyes were closed and her head was thrown back in pleasure, screaming his name over and over.

Something she never did with me…

She didn’t look like that when she rode my cock. She’d frowned to the point where I was afraid that I hurt her. As if she was trying to think about something else than me. It hurt and humiliated me to realize now what she’d been trying to do.

Imagining that I was my brother…

“Fuck! Jack,” Riven finally exclaimed when he finally noticed me at the door. Sky threw a look over her should and the sex-crazed look was quickly replaced with shock and shame.

“Jack!” she squealed and scrambled off my brother’s cock. I just watched them, unable to form words. The betrayal burned in my chest. And in a way, it was worse than the physical echoes from my mate’s infidelity. Because while that pain left me breathless, this felt like something that went deeper.

Of all people…

Why my own brother?

“Look, I’m sorry…,” Riven began to explain, but I was barely paying attention to him. My wolf was howling in my head, wounded and hurt from the double betrayal. The people who were supposed to be closest to me. The ones I was supposed to trust.

My alpha…

My mate…

“Don’t be mad at him!” Sky was quick to interject, her eyes rimmed with salty tears. “I-I…” She glanced from me to my brother and back to me, clutching the sheet closer around her body. “I’ve fallen in love with him!”

The words felt like a spear through my heart. Less than 24 hours ago, she confessed her love to me! She claimed me! Making me believe that we’d be forever.

Yet I didn’t let it show on my face. I’d spent months masking anything I felt, to avoid the pain that came with moving my facial muscles.

Today that came in handy.

Because I didn’t want them to own the pain they’d caused me…

“I’m sorry,” Sky muttered weakly, as she took a step towards me. “I tried to stop it, but I couldn’t!” She breathed hard, fighting her tears. “You’re my mate, Jack, and I want you, but--- You’re always so distant! I never know where you are or what you’re thinking… You never talk to me!”

It's ironic how that works when your jaw is in constant pain, I mentally scoffed, my emotions going from sad to mad in just a split second, while she was sounding hysterical now.

Talk about a Shakespearian tragedy…

Her words did nothing for me. And ironic how she was making it out as if this was all my fault somehow. If I’d just done something different, then everything would be fucking roses and rainbows. As if I hadn’t put my everything into this relationship…

Idiot!

“Jack,” Riven said carefully, clearly more afraid of my silence than Sky was. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

Seriously?!

That was his brilliant excuse? That he fell and his cock slipped into MY mate? I almost grinned at the ridiculous image that my mind conjured up.

“It just---,” Riven continued, looking for the right words. And for a split second, he actually looked like he felt guilty. “Did.”

It just did?!

“It just did,” I echoed his words, still not letting any of my inner turmoil show. Other than clenching my fists at my side, I didn’t show a single emotion. To be honest, perhaps I didn’t know what to feel. How to express the humiliation and betrayal that burned in my blood. How to show the pain and the anger that boiled in my veins.

So I did nothing…!

Behind me, I felt Jason’s presence. I could feel the anger roll off him as he quickly figured out what was going on here. To my relief, he at least looked, how I felt.

Pissed.

Betrayed.

Disgusted…

“Jack?” Sky whimpered, tears flowing down her beautiful face. “Say something!”

Say something?

What the hell did they want me to say? That it was fine? That we’d work it out somehow? That after this, I’d respect them? That we’d be “friends”? The mere sight of them disgusted me and I’d rather swim in boiling oil than stay here another second?

And just like that, it was crystal clear to me, what I had to do.

“I, Jack White, reject you, Skylar Thwan, as my mate!”

I said the words as clearly as I could, ignoring the pain that came with it. But it was harder to ignore the pain that laced through my body, as the newly formed bond broke. I grunted in pain, and instantly Jason was there, keeping me on my feet.

Sky screamed as she felt the same pain as I did. But instantly Riven was there, catching her as she writhed in pain. Her sobs muffled against his skin…

“Jack!” Riven exclaimed in horror. “What are you---?!”

But I wasn’t done…

“And I reject you, Riven White…” I gritted between my teeth, feeling the familiar burn as anger gave me the strength I needed to finish this.

“Jack! Don’t---!” Riven suddenly exclaimed, horrified. Funny, how he seemed to care now.

Well, too bad.

It was too late now…

“As my alpha,” I finished and I felt the link to the pack snap just as easily as the mate-bond had. Perhaps I’d put too much faith into that magical bond. Perhaps it wasn’t magical at all. Perhaps there was no power behind it in the first place…

Perhaps I was just an idiot…

“Did I say enough?” I asked sarcastically and left the room. Leaving my mate wailing and my brother shouting my name.

I left!

My family.

My home.

My territory…

I left everything I loved behind that day, vowing never to look back!