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Where was the enjoyment?
I agree with other reviews on this, the premise is very typical in the LGBT circle. The part where it becomes atypical is it's constant devolving into further and further conflict with no resolution that eventually takes away all it's subtlety by the end and sucks the enjoyment out of what could have been an enjoyable read had it made some attempt to see the light in life rather than the simple route of seeing only tragedy.
At most, I'd relegate this to the perfect self-deprecation story for people who love to wallow in their self-pity and melancholy. For them, this is a story that will no-doubt serve as an excellent source of sad feelings and dark fantasies about how life 'really is' and gloss over the conveniences that lead to it's over-the-top conflicts. Unfortunately the focus on LGBT and mental health that may get the story extra points in the tumblr crowd won't translate into the larger audience, where an enjoyable plot and premise stand as the features that draw people in.
You're a decent writer and I can see potential in your talent for it, but I urge you to move away from depressing self-indulgence and to something more realistic, where life is not just filled with the bad times but the good as well. Something that brings the reader back not just because of it's tragic emotional stakes but also it's heartfelt and warm conclusions.
For now this book strikes me as the first act to a larger story which really should have been part of this, something that would have left me fulfilled rather than empty. Something that would have had me coming back for the next because I was immersed and attached to it, rather than because the resolution was hacked from the end.
I invite anyone to leave me their thoughts, I'd enjoy seeing some differing opinions below.
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