DesmondK

I'm a bit out there but hey, aren't we all at some point in our lives. Born in New Zealand, now living in Australia, it is my wish that you will not only be entertained by my work but also inspired.

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The Useless Villain

This is funny, he is trying his best to be bad, but stuffing that up.
I will keep reading over the next while as the chapters are easy to read and entertaining.
As some of the other reviews have pointed out there are a few grammatical errors but when you got to publication they should be picked up.
One tip that I have been given recently is in bringing a story more to life.
e.g. As the sun was behind my back at this time of the morning our shadows, both his and mine were visible, I brought forth a large, black form from his shadow behind him, that I quickly morphed into the shape of a large hand, knocking the man forward with a massive slap to his back. He toppled toward me like a bowling pin that had just gone down in a strike, he was out cold by the time his head hit the pavement for the second time, due to the bounce.

I know I have a different writing style to you but there may be something you can take from this example.
Just finished Chapter 3 and I like where it is heading, I loved the flashback and what it adds to the character development.

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Anastasia

A very novel concept so far, it scares me to think of what this child will grow up to be.
I love your writing style, your descriptions are very good.
Well done so far.

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Die for Love

This story starts with a bang, I love the way she is forced into a hostage situation within a public area without others becoming alerted to her true situation. It has me intrigued so far.
There are a few minor grammatical errors that will be picked up during editing if you don't get to them first.
The second chapter is extremely fast-paced, I got lost a few times with what you were attempting to articulate, but a quick re-read and I got them.
It is a fantastic story so far and something I can sink my teeth into but it needs a little work on the grammar, I can get over it, but it may be a sticking point for others.

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Box of Bones

Although I only got to read the first five chapters the story itself is developing wonderfully.
I do get your disclaimer at the start with regards to this not being a final draught, but I do feel that the technical writing subtracts from the overall experience.

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A Different Species

Great start, and then I was slowly pulled into the story.
Love the writing style and the slow approach to the character and story development.

Chapter two had a couple of sentences that need a little bit of rewording and in Chapter three you have used sac instead of sack, I don't know if it was intentional or not, but you have used sack in other parts.

In all, a great story.

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The New Ways

I was pulled into the drama that the two characters were involved in straight away.
You created the urgency of their predicament well and I look forward to reading any other chapters you add, or when it is published.

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