Eastcoastghost

Slice of small town life

You did a good job of giving the reader a sense of what living in this small town was like. I grew up in a small town like the one in the story and I definitely felt the sense of boredom that the permeates living in a town like this one. Your writing is very descriptive and the story flows well overall. I was hoping for something a little more eventful to happen after the firecrackers were set off. I really wanted Mr. Riley to come running out since it would be so unexpected of someone his age. But the story moves along at a nice pace.

Definitely for lovers of Poe

Great story. I was really drawn in by your introduction. It was very moody and atmospheric and really set the tone for the rest of the story. Strong visual description. . I can definitely see the allusions to Poe's writing style and subject matter. I could palpably feel the lead character's sense of dread at times when encountering the "apparition". I think this would make for a great short story of one or two chapters, but imagine you are planning a much longer length. Definitely looking forward to seeing more of this story and other work you have to offer. Well done!

Fun mix of spy, love story and whodunit murder mystery

This was a story that definitely didn't turn out how I thought it was going to. While I knew Kendra would find a greater mystery behind the murder of her boyfriend Oliver, I wasn't quite expecting a rival agent. If anything, I was expecting Betsie, the scorned other worman, to have been the perpetrator. So that was a good twist. There were a number of grammatical errors that need to be corrected. Further proofreading could tighten the story up.

The Lucienne Twins

Very good story and three dimensional characters. I love supernatural tales involving children, as their innocence intersecting with evil or darker forces is compelling. Just be sure to look more carefully for typos while proofreading. Looking forward to reading more of your work.