Best thing I've read by far on here
I joined recently, tempted by the chance of publication and with no real intention of reading other works (I have a finished MS, briefly posted the first 3 chapters for two days, and then removed them because I cannot bear the thought of putting it online when agents are looking at it separately). The few works I have dabbled in and out of make me weep, and not in a good way. This was literally a breath of fresh air right before I was about to close my account.
Read the story now
I did not intend to read much, I more saw it somewhere on the site and skimmed it a bit before being completely sucked in (I'll admit, I skipped a couple chapters once or twice so far, so maybe there is an issue with pacing? I had a similar problem with my own manuscript and didn't know until a professional critique pointed it out).. Please tell me you have actually submitted to agents? This is definitely something I think they would be interested in. This isn't even my kind of story and I am thoroughly enjoying it. You write WELL with almost minimal typos/grammar problems (which is different from everything else I've seen so far on this site which looks like the author didn't read through their own writing even once), the story is complete and compelling and doesn't have glaring holes or contradictions, and the characters are brilliant.
And KUDOS for writing steamy, exciting moments that were not a) cringe-worthy, b) needlessly explicit (less is more, my imagination is DEFINITELY good enough to be allowed to run rampant), or c) contrived or unrealistic. The scenes and buildup to those interactions felt so natural and genuine it made it so easy to be sucked in.
I didn't think I would be into it being told from your protagonists point of view, however she is so witty and clever I ENJOY being in her mind. That being said, I love the genuine, fun dynamic between her and Hadrian. It isn't cringey or with one managing too much of an upper hand over the other- they both are like roller coasters going up and down winning and losing in their struggle to achieve their own separate goals.
I'm about 3/4ths of the way through and plan to finish. I notice there is a sequel so will probably look at that too. Excellent work, this stands out from the rest in a big way. While my manuscript isn't on the site, if you're ever interested in reading it I'd love your thoughts (your prose makes mine feel like the work of a novice- but to be fair it is).