elarsson

Happy to critique, but I'm no pro. While my work isn't on here, I'll gladly share it with anyone interested in providing feedback.

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Up till 4am reading...

I did not plan to start this one immediately after finishing the last, but that's precisely what happened and I was up till 4am finishing it (probably the greatest compliment a writer can receive). All my comments from my last review of part 1 are echoed here,

I love where this is going and look forward to reading more as it is ready (this review is written around the posting of chapter 30). The dynamic between your protagonists is one of the most compelling for me, Just like book 1, this seems a highly-polished piece (thank you, again, for uploading something that has clearly taken time to craft and refine). There are minimal typos and errors and again the prose is brilliant.

Anyone who isn't sure whether this would be for you, I invite you to start skimming the first few pages- of book 1 if you've not read it yet- and you will get sucked in straight away (as that is how I started).

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Best thing I've read by far on here

I joined recently, tempted by the chance of publication and with no real intention of reading other works (I have a finished MS, briefly posted the first 3 chapters for two days, and then removed them because I cannot bear the thought of putting it online when agents are looking at it separately). The few works I have dabbled in and out of make me weep, and not in a good way. This was literally a breath of fresh air right before I was about to close my account.

I did not intend to read much, I more saw it somewhere on the site and skimmed it a bit before being completely sucked in (I'll admit, I skipped a couple chapters once or twice so far, so maybe there is an issue with pacing? I had a similar problem with my own manuscript and didn't know until a professional critique pointed it out).. Please tell me you have actually submitted to agents? This is definitely something I think they would be interested in. This isn't even my kind of story and I am thoroughly enjoying it. You write WELL with almost minimal typos/grammar problems (which is different from everything else I've seen so far on this site which looks like the author didn't read through their own writing even once), the story is complete and compelling and doesn't have glaring holes or contradictions, and the characters are brilliant.

And KUDOS for writing steamy, exciting moments that were not a) cringe-worthy, b) needlessly explicit (less is more, my imagination is DEFINITELY good enough to be allowed to run rampant), or c) contrived or unrealistic. The scenes and buildup to those interactions felt so natural and genuine it made it so easy to be sucked in.

I didn't think I would be into it being told from your protagonists point of view, however she is so witty and clever I ENJOY being in her mind. That being said, I love the genuine, fun dynamic between her and Hadrian. It isn't cringey or with one managing too much of an upper hand over the other- they both are like roller coasters going up and down winning and losing in their struggle to achieve their own separate goals.

I'm about 3/4ths of the way through and plan to finish. I notice there is a sequel so will probably look at that too. Excellent work, this stands out from the rest in a big way. While my manuscript isn't on the site, if you're ever interested in reading it I'd love your thoughts (your prose makes mine feel like the work of a novice- but to be fair it is).

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