First Time Horror
To be honest, this is my first time reading horror, and the only thought floating through my mind right now is, “What took me so long to give it a chance?” The story had me at the edge of my seat, first wondering if the Candyman is going to show up and then what he is going to do.
Read the story now
The author's writing style is incredible. I love how they vary the sentence length. It makes the story flow smoothly from one sentence to another. There are occasional grammar mistakes (missing commas, words the author probably forgot to delete, etc.), but that’s expected. After all, even published books contain a mistake here and there.
The descriptions are vivid and include all five senses, which is something I definitely have yet to learn. I’ll definitely use this story as a case to study effective and vivid descriptions.
My only two suggestions would be to maybe rethink the opening of the story. Beginning with the description of the main character is not a good hook to draw readers in. I suggest the author uses something more captivating that will make readers itch to know what is going on. My other suggestion is about the text included in the parentheses. It’s usual to use this tool very sparingly in fiction, as they’re interruptive to the eye. For me personally, the number of sentences included in parentheses in the two chapters seemed too distracting.
Other than that, the story is incredible. I really hope the author continues writing it, as I’m curious to know what happens next.