C. Swallow

Melbourne

Author of Frankincense City, Twin Dragons, Lycan Soulmates, Blas Archangels, Wolf Dominion, Kingdom of Alma and more ;) I write erotica / dark fantasy / scifi | 饾檸饾檺饾檵饾檵饾檴饾檷饾檹 饾檲饾檧 饾櫋饾櫄饾櫀饾櫃饾櫒 饾櫓饾櫎 饾櫌饾櫘 饾櫏饾櫀饾櫓饾櫑饾櫄饾櫎饾櫍

Valoraci贸n general
Trama
Estilo de escritura
Gram谩tica y puntuaci贸n

Fantastic, keep it up! 馃枻

You're a very talented writer and please keep creating, as you know how to paint a picture with words ;) which is what a lot of authors struggle to do! I'd reccomemd this story to romance and fantasy lovers 馃枻

Leer la historia ya
Valoraci贸n general
Trama
Estilo de escritura
Gram谩tica y puntuaci贸n

Wow! Intriguing :)

I really love it because you clearly have a passion for the story and writing so I know the ideas are going to keep unpacking into something beautiful and entrancing! Keep up the great work! x you have a natural talent and you should keep working on it! x

Leer la historia ya
Valoraci贸n general
Trama
Estilo de escritura
Gram谩tica y puntuaci贸n

Review

Hey girl so I read 5 chapters. I can tell you have the story well planned but you need to maybe practice going with first person point of view, I have a feeling it will fit your writing style better, if it comes from the eyes and mind of the protagonist: Jasmine. I would focus on making chapter 3, 4 or 5 the introduction. What I mean by that is its totally okay to start chapter 1 in the action. And try to make it in the eyes of the protagonist if you can! I suggest just trying it for fun, don't be worried if you can or can't do it just try ;) trust me it's way easier than third person! Make sure to add in what Jasmine feels towards these boys, it would give the story the one thing its lacking which is emotional connection so the readers can bond with your characters. I can read names being listed and I'm told who is who but it's better to practice 'show don't tell'. This is a very common error for first attempts. Practice writing an action scene while avoiding over explaining the background details that aren't important yet. Focus on Jasmine's emotional state and how she feels and how she sees these boys and the party! And practice starting a new paragraph everytime someone else speaks!! You have all the imagination down pat, now you need to paint a picture slowly, don't rush and focus on one thing at a time. It's all practice makes perfect, you got this !! X

Leer la historia ya
Valoraci贸n general
Trama
Estilo de escritura
Gram谩tica y puntuaci贸n

Todav铆a no ha recibido ninguna insignia

Sobre nosotros

Inkitt es la primera editorial del mundo impulsada por los lectores y que ofrece una plataforma para descubrir talentos ocultos y convertirlos en autores de 茅xito mundial. Escribe historias cautivadoras, lee novelas encantadoras y publicaremos los libros que m谩s gusten a nuestros lectores en nuestra app hermana, GALATEA, y otros formatos.