OldSchoolHorror

Arad

Amateur horror writer here, please enjoy my works, and leave comments/reviews whenever you like.

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Vivid and unforgiving

I think that in the world of sparkling vampires and sexy werewolves we need stories like this. It plunges you straight where it should, then keeps you reading through the merciless onslaught of burning flesh, deafening screams, and maddening hopelessness. Now I understand very well why you suggested me to include all the senses in my writings. By using all the five senses with great skill, and also making the reader care for the characters, you managed to create an immersive story. Vivid in its descriptions, and also with stakes which keep rising, the story is very effective at evoking various emotions like fear, disgust, anxiety, and so on. This is what real horror should do, not the romantic stuff which is more popular nowadays. Congratulations!

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Nice thrill ride

This was a fantastic creature-feature. Like another reviewer also remarked, no glitter, no rainbows, no butterflies. The story is original, the characters are believable. It unfolds in a surprising manner, defying reader expectations on several occasions. There were a few scenes which were predictable like the final headshot, but that's all right.
For me, the only thing which seemed strange was the fact that the old shaman could take on the Unnamed so easily. This begs the question: why didn't they hunt it down in the past? The battle had been described well, nevertheless. There were also several scenes which were real nail biters.
I don't think that there are any hidden meanings in this story, but it compensates that with keeping the reader on the edge of his/her seat. The descriptions are short, but rich. Nice word usage by a creative author. A few typos here and there, but they are forgettable. It is clear that the author is reading a lot, and also knows a lot about storytelling. The tension is really great in this one. Congrats to the author. I recommend it anybody who likes horror.

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Interesting concept

Well, the events of the first chapter went "downhill" fast. It started with a mystery, which is good. The concept was original and interesting, the ending a little rushed. Overall, it was good, I really liked it.
Maybe this kind of story should be extended into a complete novel because I think that there is plenty to write about. There are many things to explore such as scientific research, disagreement/clash with fellow researchers and the resulting feelings, like 'is the research really going to succeed', 'can I really do this?', There might be high risk involved should the research fail, like the death of a loved one if the cure is not developed, or a promise made to somebody. If the research is given some kind of urgency, then it will justify the main protagonist's insistence to continue. The emotional struggle caused by the transformation should be explored, human emotions clashing with the rising amphibian instincts: the morality of killing vs satisfying hunger, the good feeling of having heightened senses vs losing the protagonist's humanity (second thoughts), guilt after killing the lady friend then internal struggle and maybe rage and destruction. The story might then end in many possible ways, self-sacrifice in order to compensate for the destruction caused; accepting the transformation, but getting killed by somebody; or surviving, but having to accept the new self; and so on.
These are just some ideas, in case you need them. In my honest opinion, this story deserves more, it has substance, but not enough space to develop. It lacks character development and emotion (internal and external struggles of the protagonist) which is somehow understandable since it is a short story. The writing style was good, the grammar and punctuation spot-on. I noticed that the author researched the science involved in the story well, which is a good thing. Keep experimenting, you are on the right track!

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Interesting

The style is good, the mystery is there, and I'm curious what's coming next. So far, I don't really understand what's happening but hopefully things will become more clear in the following chapters.

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Very good story

It was a bit over the top, but otherwise it was a great story with lots of unexpected events, twists and turns. I think that the idea is original, and the book is well written. Good job!

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Original idea

This is an interesting story, an original idea. It's mysterious from the beginning until the end, so it keeps you reading. It conveys lots of emotions, this is another thing which makes it work. It makes the reader sympathise with a murderer, and at the same time hate him too.
The writing style is elegant, the grammar good.
Congrats to the writer!

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One of the best

Congratulations to the writer! I don't understand how this story has only a few likes and only two reviews. In my oppinion, this is among the very best stories not just on inkitt but among the best I've read.
It grips you from the start with its mysterious beginning and dark Victorian atmosphere. I think that the setting and era in which the action is happening were brilliantly chosen by the writer. Victorian London is among the best choices for a crime/mystery like this.
The plot is nicely woven, I couldn't spot loose ends, and the twist was also a very good idea. Just when I thought that the story becomes predictable, the twist came and turned things around.
The writing style was also nice. Elegant sentences and short chapters made this story easy to read. There were only a few typo's here and there, but they weren't much of an annoyance. The grammar was also flawless.
I'm looking forward to reading more from this writer because this book was top notch. I really, really recommend it to anybody.

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Amazing story

I really hope that the authors are going to finish this novel because what I've read until now, is truly great.
The setting is perfect for a mystery like this, the characters are likeable and the writing style is beautiful. One can see right away that the authors are experienced and also well-read.
There is much to enjoy here as a reader, and there is also much to learn as an aspiring writer. The author's knowledge about the era of the action is obvious, and the mysterious events can easily hook any reader.
Good work, but please finish it!

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Simply Amazing

I don't even know where to begin praising this story, it is so great. It hooked me from the start and the mystery kept me reading. The story had been written with careful attention to detail, descriptions were beautiful and just enough.
It has the hook, it has the mystery and it delivers in the end. A slow burning ride through an indescribable emotional hell and painful questions which get their well-deserved answers in the end. The writing style and punctuation are unquestionable and the very end has a nice touch to it.
Overall the story is elegant and well-thought out, there are no loose ends in my oppinion. I salute the writer for this work. It deserves a place among the best-sellers!
Great job!

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Exceptional piece of work

Yes, it's exceptional but in my oppinion it's unfinished. I think that it really deserves (and needs) a fitting conclusion. I strongly suggest to the writer to finish this story because it has a huge potential.
The writing style is great, the story is intriguing and there is a lot of mistery in it. It has almost everything, except the ending. This is the only reason I gave four stars for the plot, otherwise I would have given five without hesitation.
Cliffhangers and believable characters add to the greatness of the story. The detailed knowledge of the era in which the plot is situated is obvious. The writer either has an extensive knowledge of history or he is an experienced researcher.
On a side note, this story reminds me of The Alienist by Caleb Carr which is an amazing book and I recommend it.
Keep writing because you are definately good at it!

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Interesting story

The story was good and as the previous reviewer had said, the presence of both internal and external conflict makes it interesting. It has mistery too. The details about the canal dweller are dropped in parts and its full nature isn't revealed at all, which is good. Keep the mistery going!
One thing I didn't like though, when the father and son come face to face with the creature, there is too much emphasis on the tension between the two of them. I bet that if any two people were attacked by some unknown entity, they would put their differences aside and run for their lives. I understand that it was necessary for the character development and the desired ending but I consider it a little unrealistic, given the circumstances.
Anyway, it was a good story so in my oppinion you should try writing some more.

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Damn good...again

All five short stories are very good in my oppinion. The first one is hilarious...Jesus! The second one was dark and mysterious. Third one was a little strange but more poetic and beautifully crafted. The fourth was brutal but many times life ain't better at all so it's ok. The last one contains some thruths about life which I can agree with.
Overall, you did a great job again. I couldn't wait to finish the stories in order to write this review. You are obviously talented and know very well what you are doing. Keep writing!

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It has potential

It starts really well but it begs for more. The premise is interesting and it kept me curious about how the events will unfold. The style was good, there were some artistic elements thrown in but the sentences were not over embellished. A great ending could make this story really stand out.
Good job!

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A star is rising

I'm definitely not into romance, I checked out your story out of curiosity and for learning purposes. All I can say is that it's a solid work so far. You've established a mistery in the beginning which is very good and then you are throwing your main character into more conflict, both physical and emotional which is also great.
I like how you can play with words, you've written some really nice/catchy sentences but not overly complicated or over embellished. This is for sure a strong point for you. It was also nice how you've interwoven the details, like the introduction of character names and places with the action. You didn't just state them plainly which might have been boring. At first I thought that Ocean was a cat :)). The dialogue flows nicely and seems natural.
The only thing I can identify as a minor problem, is the punctuation. I think that your comma usage is a little lacking both in normal sentences and in dialogues. These thing can be corrected easily with a beta reader software like Grammarly or Language Tool (use one because you'd be surprised about how many mistakes the eyes can't catch, I know it from experience). You can also google it up, there are only a few simple rules.
These tools will also help you catch words with typo's. You have a few of them as well. Only minor stuff and I suppose mostly unintentional.
So far, the story is great, even for a die hard horror fan like me. Keep working!

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Great style

Not into poetry much but I like your writing style. I think that you have great potential. Ever thought about writing prose? With your writing style, I think you could write amazing stories given some good story ideas.
I wish you the best! Keep writing!

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Great style, great idea, a little confusing story.

The style is great and the plot is promising. For me, it was a bit fast with too many new things introduced too quickly. This might not be an issue for people who like fast-paced stories. Also, if most of this stuff gets explained as the story progresses, then I think that it will be all right.
Regarding punctuation, I would pay a little more attention to commas and maybe reduce the usage of "...". I would suggest using beta readers like Grammarly or Language Tool to correct possible punctuation or grammar mistakes. On the other hand, your knowledge of the English language is very good.
The dialogue seemed natural and flowing. The only thing I personally didn't like was that several lines of dialogue were written in the same paragraph block which is confusing for me.

Overall it's a great idea. It makes you read because it hooks you from the beginning and keeps you there with lots of open questions.
I wish you the best. Keep writing!

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Mindless - one hell of a ride

What I like the most about this story is it's fast pace, it hooks you right from the start. It kept me guessing until the end, it also gave me some ideas about future stories I'd like to write. Good job, keep on writing!

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