It Started with a Heist
This story has a great setup within the first five chapters. That MC, Emma has a strong presence on the page and we truly understand her issue with the current circumstances, and with her reluctance to break ties with the lifestyle her brother and she have been accustomed to.
The pace is perfect and so is the dialogue. You also paint beautiful imagery one I like in particular was in Chapter 1 when you describe the skyscrapers racing each other to the sky.
A few critiques: I think you could have slowed down the heist scene, the tension could really build with a bit more scene and less exposition. I did love that chapter though, there are a lot of good bones to work with.
Also, in the opening chapter when Emma dives into her family history, I felt my mind wandering reading through, it is relevant and great information, but it is given to the reader in the form of an info dump. So, while I think it is definitely information we are going to want to know, it may read better if you sprinkle it throughout chapters are key moments.
For instance, you could talk more about her parents in the coffee shop scene when she's explaining why she's not worried about telling him her name, a quick few sentences about how her parents raised the siblings removed from Chapter 1 and inserted there could be nice.
A side note on that - This was the only example of info dumping I found and the story truly picks right up after that and hooks you in!
Overall, you've got a strong story here that has a lot of cool tidbits, especially the story behind the Asylum painting, I actually looked it up, love that it's real!
Can't wait to see how this little love story unfolds.
Great work!
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