I remove Jackson’s hand from my waist for the millionth time in frustration, not only is it hot but it’s no longer sexy.
‘One more minute.’ He says in his sleepy voice
There was a time when this would have sounded appealing but not any more.
‘I need to get up or I will be late for work.’ I say angrily pushing him away
I hear him sigh, obviously sleep deserting him but I care less.
I wear my flip flops and grab a chitenge and t shirt before walking to the living room.
Jackson and I have been married for the past four years now but we met five years prio so that is a total of nine years of knowing each other.
He was the boy in the hood that every mother wanted her daughter to get close to, he was always good in school and unfortunately the lack of finances had him not proceeding to UNI even after passing his grade twelve with flying colors.
I on the other hand only went as far as ninth grade, my parents couldn’t afford to sponsor all five of their children to school. Only my eldest brother was taken and when he was picked by the Zambia army to go for training that was the last we heard of him. Over the years we heard rumors that he made it big and has a big family, my parents often wondered if it was true and why he would do that to us but in their heart of hearts I know they knew that if any of us made it out we would do the same. Our second born brother is a junk for lack of a better term, he was expelled from school in his seventh grade for fondling a fellow pupil and he never returned. He would leave home for weeks only for my parents to be summoned at a police station or a health center. The third born died when she was seventeen, she discovered she was pregnant and decided to terminate the pregnancy but in the process ended up dying. My immediate elder sister is a trader at Soweto market married to an abusive alcoholic that beats her to the pulp and steals all her profits but keeps making her pregnant, at twenty eight she has lost three pregnancies from his beatings and has four other children. Lord forgive me but inwardly I thank him that she lost them because I can’t imagine her being a mother to seven. Whilst I on the other hand works as a cleaner for a nursing home in Kabulonga, Jackson owns a wheelbarrow that he uses to ferry traders’ goods from Soweto market to anywhere they are going. We have been living in Chawama compound just behind Regina Pacis Catholic Church from the time we got married and despite him talking about having children, I just don’t think I am ready to subject my children to this kind of lifestyle.
I look at his wheelbarrow in the living room and instantly get angry, this is a sight I can never get used to no matter the situation. Living in a two roomed house, he has nowhere else to put it and so he has to lock it in the house every day.
I grab the brazier and open the door, chatter from neighbors hitting my ears instantly. Children are already running around and looking like they did not bath the previous day, for someone who grew up in an almost similar set up this gets the best of me because I never once thought I would end up like this.
‘Good morning Nommy.’ My neighbor Angela greets, Nommy short for Nomsa
She is the only one I am able to hold a decent conversation with, she comes from old money but life happened and her father’s relatives took everything from her. Years later fell madly in love with her husband who happened not to be doing so well but she looks happy even though I don’t understand her.
‘Good morning Angy.’
‘Any special plans for the evening?’
I shake my head
‘Why are you such a killer joy, you knock off early, you and your husband don’t have kids.’
‘That means we can go out and not have to worry about kids or anything, we are the youngest couples on this compound and yet live like the old hags.’
‘No offence.’ She adds quickly looking at the eight other flats around us
‘I will pass Angy, maybe another time.’
‘You have been saying this for years now, why can’t you loosen up a little?’
I sigh, seeing there is no winning this one.
‘Good, we are going to Papas and we will pick you guys up at 20. Be ready by then.’ She says excitedly going into her flat
I just shake my head, walk to the ditch that we use for trash and throw the ashes before walking back to the house. I put charcoal on it and light it then take it outside.
I am about to walk back in when Jackson comes out with his wheelbarrow, he is wearing his jeans bemuda, black vest and flip flops that serve as work clothes.
‘Amake Linda has called me, she has things that I need to take to her stand.’
‘You won’t bath?’
‘If I delay she might find someone else, you know she pays good.’
‘Jackson we had sex in the night, it is hot on top of that. Will you go into the world like that?’ I ask trying to keep my voice down
‘Babe I will come and bath when I get back.’ He says not wasting any more time leaving me shook
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