It is a good storyline and is very imaginative.
The plot is superbly crafted and I am expecting a long story like Lord of the Rings.
The pacing is good too. The way you tell the story from each character’s point of view makes it easier to know what they think about each other. I like how you avoided using Excalibur which we already read about in the stories of Merlin and King Arthur and the explanation the sage gave, which makes one wonder what Sol and Luni could be capable of. I love the idea of twin anything (twin guns, twin knives, twin swords, etc.)
The father has renewed hope to restart a quest he has abandoned and the odd part is that this hope comes from his son the younger generation. Normally, it is the older generation that always seeks to make the younger generation do stuff. Well since he decides to go on a quest that has failed so many times it means he has hope that he can succeed.
Love always complicates things and I was unsure what Bridget would do since she was in love with Ulrik. On Ulrik’s part, I could not be sure if he would stay true to Bridget. Magnus is very smart but it’s a risk to try to make Ulrik betray Bridget, but if it works it would be superb.
Why did you decide to make the sage’s son not see the first battle? He would have learned early enough to let sleeping dogs lie (hahaha).
Magnus being an Orc came as a surprise even to me and I loved it. It explained why he was so strong. I wonder what other creatures you have up your sleeve. I just hope the other tyrants would be more terrifying
I also found a few things that might need tweaking. First, I feel like the gap in events between chapters 6 and 7 is too wide. Secondly, you do not give vivid descriptions of the surroundings and the characters. For example, I don’t know if Bridget is a pretty chick or a masculine looking female. This story could make a great video game. It reminds me of the video game Final Fantasy
Looking forward to the next Dye of Heroes.
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