Good, but could be better
Honestly from my perspective;
Read the story now
It's good smut, but it just needs work! I know it's exciting to write your first story because the ideas are just over flowing, but it'll make the story 10 times better if you just add punctuations and breaks in your paragraphs (4-8 lines). Right now it's just running sentences. Add names to your characters and possibly describe your characters features (optional). It helps give the readers a mental picture.
If it helps, jot down your ideas on a piece of paper or somewhere on your phone/laptop where you know you wouldn't lose those ideas. You can take your time to write your story, while adding everything accordingly. If you need any help or advice, I'll be here to help as best as I can!
Overall, keep up the good work! You'll be a pro in no time.❤️