Kai McKay

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I enjoyed it!!

Okay, this is my review of your prologue. For one I really did enjoy your chapter, I liked the concept of both Crystalite and Startanium, unique names for metals in my opinion. I like the concept of Seventy Six people being turned into Demonic Creatures (The Numbered), and I think that the idea for it, while not original, is unique in its own way. It has an anime feel to it which I expect you already envisioned.

For things I think need improving, I would say the spelling and the pacing of the chapter are the two big things that hold the story back. If you ever need my help with any of this, I'm always free to give advice and even co write parts of the book with you. My advice would be to use a spelling/grammar check, poor spelling and grammar can make or break your story so it's a good idea to try that out.

Something I think should have been elaborated on more would have been the King himself, while he did play a short part in this chapter I think someone who ruled a Kingdom at least deserved a name.

As a whole though, I think this story shows potential. It's definitely a fun read and I look forward to read more of it.

- K.M Blue (Kai McKay)

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