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Farrell McNulty
Chicago
I love writing and reading satire, dark humor, and reading and writing about topics which come straight from the heart.
"Bullshit" doesn't walk...it rocks
The title made me laugh so I decided to see what it was all about. I'm glad I did. I especially loved the conflict in Ana's relationship with her mother. Lots of teenagers have clashes with their parents, but they're hardly ever shown thinking of whether it's right to actually clash with someone who gave you the beautiful gift of life. I was moved by how you expressed that sentiment. I also enjoyed your no-holds-barred approach to describing depression.
I've never liked any writing that would either lie or condescend to the reader. I do enjoy writers who like to have a little fun with their readers, get them to smirk, or come across completely tongue-in-cheek, possibly a wink, but I also appreciate writers who are honest with their readers. It's basically a writer's job to touch, move, possibly educate readers, point something out in life they've never seen before, and you did that so well with describing everything in this story, particularly the depression.
A bitingly witty story - no disguise here
Dhira takes a Cinderella-style story idea and gives it a new dimension. She takes Isla and paints a new picture of a child of divorced parents. She's not pathetic and sad, she's a free-thinking emotionally independent young girl who uses her wit to help her deal with the situation. Her father is also a very realistic character in that he's in love and he's not walking on broken glass just to make sure his daughter is all right. I think he knows in his heart she will be.
Dhira's descriptions of Jacky and Isla's first impression of her were both very funny.
By "showing" instead of merely "telling", she puts us right there as innocent bystanders who can't help but stop and gawk, but not with binoculars like the perverted boy next door.
This thought leads to what happens with the boys. Isla has a little fun with her stepbrother-to-be. Her description of him as being the boring sort of handsome gave me pause and wonder just what she means by this, but that's up to the imagination of us all.
These two chapters have drawn me in and looking forward to the others.
